I had to make a decision as to whether or not to go back to my ex-husband who is verbally abusive and controlling. My daughter was living with him up until a few weeks ago. He sent her to me so that we could both decide what to do.
I was and am still in two minds as you can see from my Yahoo Answers questions.
I have decided to keep my child here with me.
She keeps saying that I did not make the right decision. I feel bad because she has enjoyed life with her Dad from the age of 10 until now and he is a lively, fun person. He is also more communicative than me.
She also makes comments about how I cook, clean and do housework living with my parents and ran away from it when I was with a family which is not true.
How do I handle her comments?
2007-08-25 07:09:51 · 6 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Realize they are just As they appear- comments. Lets look at your daughter for a second- really- what does a 15 year old know about LASTING relationships- or for that matter does she really know the full scope of what went on with you and her father. Trust me she is looking for the silver lining and wishing upon a star. Now--NOW is the time to assert your self verbally by saying-- I have made a decision- if it is right or wrong then I will be the one responsible. At this time you my dear daughter need to understand that your comments about housework/cooking etc: are not appreciated and totally unwarranted. Its called RESPECT--let me repeat that RESPECT. Ask her if she would speak to her father like that- bet she doesn't- but guess where she learned it. It is not (NOT) OK for her to speak to you as such. There you have your answer- now just do it.
2007-08-25 07:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds as if she's taking after her father......in not respecting you as a mother.
You made the decision you thought was best for you. If she isn't happy living with you, then why doesn't she live with her father?
If she doesn't like your cooking, then tell her to cook. Same thing with the housework. Let her know once she's 18, she doesn't have to eat your food, or watch you do housework if she's able to take care of herself at that time. Otherwise, she needs to live with it, and help you out at the same time.
Sorry, but I wouldn't put up with a disrespectful child.
Good Luck!
Also, I think you made the right decision by not going back to your ex.....he sounds like he has issues.
2007-08-25 14:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by CW1967 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and I'm sorry to say it but your daughter sounds like a abusive, controlling little *****.
You need to tell her that if that is the way she feels fine but that is the past now and YOU feel that you made the right choice for you.
If she still keeps it up ship her back to her dad.
2007-08-25 14:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has learned how to emotionally abuse you just like her father. You should have never let her stay with your husband in the first place, but thats over with now. You need to get her into some kind of consoling, and go with her. Let her find out about her dad.
2007-08-25 14:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Brian F 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you do not need any advice from your daughter,she has obviously been turned against you by your husband.I really don't see any good in going back to a man that is abusive and controlling.If your daughter wants to stay with her father ,let her.Problem solved.
2007-08-25 14:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by Julius C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the comment, You should be concentrating on your daughter. If her life was way better with her father then you should let her stay with him. All you will do is ruin her life. I mean you your self said that he was better in communication. Let her go back. He obviously loves her very much. You just get on with your life and every one involved will be happy.
2007-08-25 14:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by Bigeyes 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋