what do you do if you are married and in love with someone else but your hsband was mean to you now he nice?

Question

my husband had other girl friends , and keep being mean to and so i met someone and he was so nice to me. i think i feel in love and now my husband want to be nice and work thing out but so many bad thing my husband hav done to me i don't think i can. what do i do.

Answer 1

What does your heart tell you to do? If you want to work it out then you need to start with marriage counseling. I don't know if he has changed his ways or not only you do. If he hasn't changed then he will go back to being the way he was before or worse....

Answer 2

Go.
He is just being nice until he gets his way.
Where was he before? Enough is enough. Don't waste any more time. Go be with a man who is nice all the time and not just faking it temporarily.
Do what is right for you even if it is hard. This is your life. Live it free and live it for you.

Answer 3

I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out... (this book deals a lot with infidelities).

It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unlovingly towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.

If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...

"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."

I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.

If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!

Answer 4

If your husband committed adultery, you could divorce him. But you don't have to if you want to try and work on your marriage with him. Go to marriage counseling if you do want to give him another chance. People do make mistakes and regret them. It is up to you. This other guy, you talk about, you haven't known long enough to go with.