My relationship with my ex-husband failed over a year ago. We have been separated since January and divorced since June. I have recently started seeing someone who has had quite a troubled past, but has taken serious steps to correct his life. Unfortunatley, my ex doesn't think that our daughter is in a healthy environment.
What can I do to better my chances of keeping the joint residential custody arrangement?
What do I need to do to prove that my new bf isn't a danger to my daughter?
Where can I find documentation (eg. other cases) to help me prove my point or gain a legal advantage?
2007-08-25 05:15:23 · 12 answers · asked by ala.nana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex is manipulative and has massive connections with the police force, who believe that he is one of the greatest guys you'll ever meet... they don't know about the emotional abuse, lies, cheating etc. So they have helped him by reporting to him about my life. I did not allow my ex to know about the new guy.
The new guy had problems in his teens, and was sent to group homes because his parents were not capable of raising him in a healthy environment, so he got angry, he's been to counseling and rehab... *years ago* and has paid off all his fines and completed all the steps necessary to get back in good standing as far as a legal standpoint.
2007-08-25 05:33:29 · update #1
My advice is to keep the boyfriend away from the child. You should not be having your daughter involved with him until you know that you are into something that is long term. You don't want her to get attached to him and it doesn't work out. Your divorce is still fresh, wait until the ex has really moved on and he won't care so much if the BF is in her life.
2007-08-25 05:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by LuvinLos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but 'null and void' may be appropriate here ONLY because the seed of doubt has been placed in your ex's head already. If your 'new' love has a hair outta place, that's all the 'former' needs to know. Whatever your boyfriends past was, or however much he's changed in your eye (and unless you've got a bunch of money for legal expenses) your husband will always fight you. You may find some even ground eventually, but for now, don't subject your child to this tug-O-war. Your new 'thing' sounds like a healing agent to your heart & maybe your body, but not necesarily to your brain. Think about it: JUNE, JULY, AUGUST...what do you really know about your man? You're really just coming out of a relationship. Are you healed? Are you absorbing any of this? If you are, then leave lover boy out of this...it's too soon! Especially for your child!!
2007-08-25 12:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by Chili 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your ex has reasons to be upset and worried about your daughter. Yes, it is easy to think that he is trying to control your life but in my opinion it would be less or even fade in time if you make better judgements specially with selecting the man you date.
The decision of yours of dating a guy with a past whether it turns out to be a wise decision or unwise decision under normal circumstances is okay. But since there is a daughter involved the risks you took is higher. It will become a burden on your part, your daughter, your ex, and your new BF when your ex go back to court to file for a change of custody.
When it comes to custody, your husband may have a better case to present to change all he has to do is present his background. It is up to you to prove that your new BF has changed and is not a threat to your daughter. But now you can see how it can get complicated because it is digging up your new BF's past which of course he wants to put behind him.
Messy, messy. Be wiser.
2007-08-25 13:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by drickdj9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if your ex is an @ss, his kid is still his kid, and he does need to know what kind of people you are allowing around her. The only thing I can say is for you to contact a lawyer about it, and be prepared to cut the new guy out of your life because your daughter comes first.
2007-08-25 13:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sure you threw some lies and emotional abuse as well, if your bf has a bad past, the dad needs to know who around his daughter, he will find out and he will take you to court over it, for all you know he might be bad for your daughter to be around,, i would never date someone with a bad past, and it looks like you lowered your standards because you were lonely or horney,, i will say it wont last, and you will go ,, i remember that guy from yahoo saying it wont last,, he will start hanging out with bad people again,, it will happen,
2007-08-25 12:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by MR MOM USMC RETIRED 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This could have been prevented but must you learn.... Your ex doesn't need to know ANYTHING about your new boyfriend and/or his past. Since you had to open your mouth in the first place and tell your ex about him, now your stuck in this situation. Good luck.
2007-08-25 12:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change.
Depending on what his troubled past was have proff that he ahs changed. Voilence/Anger proff that he has recieved counseling and anger management. Drugs/Alchol counseling and rehab...Stuff like that.
2007-08-25 12:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're already dating someone and he has a troubled past. Are you sure he's changed?You should have waited to be sure. Your daughter has to come first.
2007-08-25 12:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your ex can have it drawn up in court that he cant spend time with the child. he can definately state his concerns, and possibly have social services involved, and they can make your life hell. they can tell you he cant ever be around the child, depending on what they find wrong
2007-08-25 19:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what he did, and how bad was it. If he has a record and he is living with you, your husband could fight for custody. Try this website www.lawyers.com, they might can help.
2007-08-25 12:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by butterflykisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋