How can I help a person suffering from inferiority complex?

Question

The person in question, only 30-years-old, considers himself vastly inferior to younger generations. I don't see any truth to his claims but he's getting insecure everyday.

Answer 1

you can help by boosting his confidence through praises but no one can really help him if he won't help himself, since self-confidence comes from within...help him realize his worth and how special he is...and let him come to terms with his inferiority complex by himself because overcoming it on his own will have a more lasting effect compared to having others do it for him...just be supportive but don't overdo it

Answer 2

in case you're concerning an prolonged-term life objective than the respond would must be "no longer straight away". besides the incontrovertible fact that, achieving the objective of getting to grasp the thank you to alter the ideas that reason the inferiority complicated interior the 1st place would be a extra sensible objective to start with. That is going for different self-proscribing factors. After this the respond would be a good "sure"!

Answer 3

first, find out the cause of his insecurities.
technology wise? dressing? what?
are most of his friends all younger than him?
give him HONEST praises when u talk to him.

Answer 4

What have you done yet? He needs professsional help probably, because he won't take you seriously.

Answer 5

see a psychologist.

Answer 6

I am sorry to report that this sort of personal view is not something another can strongly affect. The best person to help in this situation would be a very close family member, such as a spouse. A very close friend could help, but it would need to be very good and strong friendship.

The reason this is true is because to have any effect upon a person's self esteem the individual needs to be extremely close, such as living with the person suffering such a lack of confidence and self esteem.

This is a horrid feeling. It truly can have a terriable impact upon an individuals life. Every corner of the person's life is effected, job, school, family, friends, and other situation in society. It inflitrates every aspect of life and takes anything good and turns it sour.

I do agree that he might want to consider professional help because a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist, physchologist can help him look for the reasons behind this growing issue.

The fact that it is growing, getting worse, means that something, or multiple "things" are contributing to this situation as we speak. Right now something is occurring which is causing him to lose himself.

It is important to first discover what exactly is causing this. I agree with the poster who stated this. It very well could be a medical situation, such a depression from some situation which has recently occured in his life. Something is stealing his confidence away, and somehow it has to do with younger people.

Is he dissapointed in his own accomplishments? Did he have dreams and goals when he was younger which for one reason or another he was unable to accomplish and now he sees the younger crowd doing everything he once dreamed for himself?

Is he living in a collage community where he sees everyday the young attending courses and studying? Did he once plan on attending higher education and life got in the way and now he watches others every single day doing exactly what he himself so wished to do? This would cause great consternation if not dealt with in a healthy manner.

Taking this example to the next step, in the case where this is determined to be a factor in his loss of self esteem, lets say he had to drop out of school for some reason, such as a pregnancy, sickness in the family, or some other personal situation, such as financial inability, stopped him from going or attending courses.

He would need to come to peace with the fact that, as The Beatles song lyric says, "Life is whats happening while we are busy making other plans". We often make plans and then life gets in the way.

Such as an unplanned pregnancy, or sickness, or a thousand other life situations which cause us to get derailed from our personal plans and (in my opinion) go off onto God's plan for our lives.

He would need to examine his life, what occured, and come to peace with it all. I am sure he is valuable and vital in life. I am sure he has people who love him and whom he loves. Usually, such a blow to dreams usually comes later in life, around mid-life, when we realize we failed to do many of the things we had planned. This is usually referred to as a "Mid-life crisis". There is a reason this phenonemon has a lable and is widely recognized as destructive to the person experiancing it. These individuals often take drastic steps in the attempt to reclaim dreams and fullfill lost ideals. They wreck havoc in their loved ones lives, often going so far as to leave them and attempt to start a "new" life, which is more suited to fullfilling those lost dreams and ideals. It is tragic and sad, and completely avoidable if people just realize a time will come in life when you look at your current life, compare it too what you had originally planned, and find it lacking. When we are prepared for such events we can better combat them and have far greater control over the possible damage it can cause.

When we look at our lives and find them lacking, we often turn it inward and find ourselves lacking. This is usually very harsh, and unfair. Who can be harder on oneself than oneself? We beat ourselves up, and often, if we are a bit weak, we will not be able to cope with our own responsibility for our lives and we will try to find others to blame. Such as a wife. It is far more acceptable to people like this to blame somebody else. The wife, or husband is the most likely target, and even the children. After all, if they hadn't had children so soon s/he would have been able to continue pursuing those dreams and life would have been different, better, more fullfilling. As it is somebody elses fault, we must not only punish that person but we must get them out of the way so we can get back to our pursuit of happiness. Or to that affect.

This person is in a crisis. He is looking at his life and comparing it to others and finding his lacking. He may be wishing he had attended school instead of taking off after highschool and getting a job. It is possible he is regretting choices he made and watching others make better ones. This is in his own opinion and it is destroying his self confidence, his satisfaction with his life, and stealing his self esteem.

Once he discoveres whatever it is that is so effecting him he can do something about it. He can either realize this is his life and find peace with it, or he can take positive steps towards whatever he needs to feel fullfilled and satisfied with himself.

I don't know what is happening, but it appears to be wrapped around younger people. Exactly what are these younger people doing that is showing him as a failure? This is what is occuring. Something he wished he had done, or continued to do that younger people are doing right now.

If it about higher education it is not too late for him to take affmitative actions to change his life. He can attend courses at night, on the weekends, or go to a trade or technical school. If there is local resourses of course. If not he can move himself and his family to where he can take action on what he needs to do.

Now, once he finds out what is bothering him so deeply and decides that either his life is valuable exactly as it is, that he is important, or takes action to build a plan to achieve whatever it is he feels he is lacking, then he can stop feeling so inadequent.

In the meantime all you can do is perhaps help him find out what it is that is so bothering him about himself. This is key to helping him either come to peace with his life, or taking steps towards completing whatever it is he feels he should have done before in his life, or perhaps both.

Complimenting him won't be affective. Pointing out his value can be. Pointing out his accomplishments, how much his family loves and depends upon him can be positive or can turn his thoughts to how they are either the cause of his angst, or blocking any attempt for affirmative steps. It is critical that anyone who is not a professional takes great care in the approach to these topics. It could go either way in the hands of a well meaning, but unprofessional caring person.

I suggest you point out his value, his accomplishments, and try to find out exactly what it is about these young adults that is causing him to feel bad about himself. If he opens up and tells you, then he has spoken it aloud. Speaking aloud of personal demons has a method of dispelling the worst of them. Demons often can't live in the light of day, and speaking of them pulls them into that light.

Sometimes these demons turn out to be insignificant when fully examined. Discussing what it is that is bothering him is a good beginning. At first such discussions can cause sadness and depression. He is feeling powerless right now about something. It can be embarressing to confess what you feel inadequent about. This is why it may be important to get him to see a professional.

Men are much more difficult to convince of the benifits of counseling. Men more often need to feel competent. Going to a "shrink" does not help that confidence, and in fact tends to make men think they are weak.

So, perhaps a different type of counselor would do the trick. At least get him motivated in that direction. For example: If it is about higher education or lacking a trade or technical skill he wishes he had pursued, then try to convince him it is not too late. Thousands of individuals return to school later in life. Go to any classroom and you will see young people, but mixed in with them you will also see a number of older people, many with grey hair!

Perhaps convincing him to go check out a classroom, or walk around a compass, would get him to see it is never too late to follow you dreams, to make changes for the positive in life. It is only too late when we are dead. That is when the fat lady sings.

There are many methods to getting him off of the negative and looking at positives. The first step is finding out exactly what the younger crowd is doing that he wishes he too could or had done. Then help him see that he has the power to affect his own life, to make changes and engage in what he wishes to do.

Continueing with the higher eduction example,and I use it because I really do think this has something to do with his regret of not pursueing some form of education while he was younger, had perhaps gone to college, etc, getting him to see he can take one or two courses a semester and slowly he will reach his goal will help him stop thinking negitvely and get him into some action regarding the direction his life currently has taken. He can change course, there is nothing which says he has to continue his current course. Even with a wife and kids he can take steps to change direction. I am sure if he has a wife and children they are suffering right along side of him.

Right now he is looking at things very negatively. He needs to understand that he has power over his own life, that he can change things. If he is single that makes it even easier. However, even with a family he still can do this.

So, what does a friend or family member do to help a person suffering a break of confidence or deciding he made the wrong choices when he was younger?

As I said, first get him to discuss exactly why he feels this way. Then lead him in the direction of seeing that he still can do something about it. It is never too late. I read about a woman who took one class a semester at Harvard and finally graduated with a Masters degree twenty years later! She was fifty when she started! She said that just attending that one course a semester made her feel like she was taking control of her own personal dreams and it empowered her life.

I don't suggest you tell your friend this story or he may jump to the conclusion that this would take far too long! lol

He just needs to understand that "Life is whats happening while we are busy making other plans" and yet we can still affect change anyway. He needs to take back his power and make his dreams come alive. Find out what will wake him each morning eager to meet the day. If he has a family, he needs to understand that there is nothing more important, no higher acheivement, than providing a safe, healthy, loving enivroment where his family can grow and mature. There is value in this. It is too bad that society has denegrated this down to "only a house wife?", or "uneducated working man".

I hear people talking about how working in fast food, or as a janitor, or in the fields, or a hotel maid, or any other of hundreds of such jobs are "lessor", unimportant. However, these are still valuable and viable. Any job is still an honest days work and the of the day, puts food on the table, clothes on the back, and a roof over the heads of a family. It is far more reason for pride than criminal activity which brings in thousands a week.

A hard working man is highly attractive to me. Regardless of whether he wears jeans and work boots, or a suit and loafers, he is working and that is attractive. Far more attractive than a hood driving down the road in a fancy and expensive vehicle.

This person needs to find reason for self pride. Regardless of whether or not he can begin to make changes he first needs to understand that he is viable and important part of not only his family, but society. He needs to take back his power and make affirmative action towards changing his life, if that is what he determines will help him feel significant and valuable.

A school counselor is better than no couselor. A job training course is better than no course. Any step he takes towards a goal will increase his self worth and raise his self worth and self esteem. As these things rise so too will his self confidence and satisfaction with himself and his life.

Now, if he refuses to do anything except whine and snival about his situation wash your hands of it. You can't help somebody who won't help him/herself. If all he prefers to do is whine and snival then let him at it. There is not any reason for you to waste you breath and energy on somebody who just wants to feel down all lthe time and cry about how bad his/her life is and how unfair it all is.

If he truly wishes to have a better life and increase his feelings of self worth then he needs to be willing to take action. Whether that is to come to peace with his current situation, understand that he is valuable exactly as he is right now, and that he can do anything he sets his mind too and wants badly enough. He can take steps to feel more fullfilled and successfull.

I wish anyone luck in aiding a friend or loved one out of the bottom of such dismal thought patterns. It can be a tough job, and sometimes you have to not soft peddle it, but just be straight forward and rough. If taking softly and with concern fails, then walk in with a big stick and batter him over the head with it. Figuratively that is, not literally! lol What I mean is sometimes it takes a huge shove to get somebody off the pity pot and going in the right direction. Choose your weapons with care, and then strap on your armor and go to war! lol

All kidding aside, he needs somebody to help him understand his value, but just giving him compliments won't do the trick. He is fully aware of how his life is currently, he just needs reminding that even the little people are valuable. Not a single one of us hard working people are lacking in value. As long as we have breath in our bodies we can affect change in our lives, internally and outwardly. It just takes motivation and being pointed in the right direction and being given the right tools and skills.

Well, that is all I have to say on the subject. lol

P.S. Sorry to go on, I seem to repeat myself a time or two, but it is worth repeating, in my humble opinion anyway. Life is too short to waste sniviling and crying over spilt milk. I think we all have the ability to make positive changes within ourselves and our lives. I truly believe this with all my heart. The biggest obsticle is getting him out of the depression. This can be accomplished best by action, it is far more affective in my experiance than medications. While there is a time and place for medication I think it is over prescribed, when action can do far more and much more quickly. Sometimes a combination can be affective, medication in the short term and action for the short and long term.