What makes a marriage really work?

Question

Right now I've been very focused on the wedding, but I want to keep in perspective and remember that in the long run, it's about the marriage, not about a big fancy wedding day.

What truly makes a marriage work? What keeps the love strong?

Answer 1

commitment honesty and open communication...... congrat on your wededing

Answer 2

Be each other's best friends.
Negotiate chores, finances, responsibility for fairness and equality.
Be happy and in love with yourself. No one will ever make you happy. It is a choice only you can make. A happy person is a good partner in a marriage. An unhappy person is demanding, childish, unforgiving, inflexible, insecure, and a pain in the rear to live with.
Don't ever fall in the trap of becoming the other person's parent, child, social worker, psychologist or conscience. You each are responsible for offering solutions and making each other the priority in your life.
Skip the blame game.If your needs aren't met, then work to meet them.
Be honest. Be open. Be loving, patient, and kind. Treat your spouse like the most important person in the world for the rest of your life.
Listen. Do not defend, deny, or make fun of what your spouse says. Agree. Work on fixing problems fast.
Remember that once you are married, is no longer about you. Everything you do has an impact on your family. Give it your best.
Have sex even when you would rather not. Men associate sex with being loved and important. Do not use sex as a weapon in your marriage. Rejection will wreck a marriage.
Plan dates and time just for you and your spouse even when kids come. Always work to keep your marriage the best thing that it can be.
Do not talk bad about your spouse to your family no matter what.
Remember you are each other's best friends. Stay that way. If it starts sliding, fix it fast.
Tomorrow may not come. Live your dream today. There is no time to be miserable.

Answer 3

Honesty, laughter, constant communication and similar goals in life (ie. you both want a family) help make a marriage work. Also, though it sounds trivial, divvying up the housework so that we each have particular roles has helped cut back on minor bickering.
Don't take your love for granted! When someone agrees to be with you through thick and thin for the rest of your lives, be grateful for their support and be understanding of their faults.

Answer 4

Do not stop working on having a healthy relationship after the wedding. The reality is the hard work begins after the honeymoon is over...But it is well worth the effort!

Also know that you are going to have good times and bad times, and your relationship will ebb and flow. This is natural. The good news is the bad times will only make your relationship better after you get through them together.

Lastly... take those vows seriously.

Answer 5

well i have been married for 8yr. now i started very young my husband was into all kinds of stuff he was bad ! what has worked for me is not keeping every thing in side if you don't like it let them know and all ways find the middle of things were both of you are comfortable life with you better half will always have its up and downs what matters is that you love each other and if all fails and you don't agree companies and let him do what he wants next time you really want something he will remember what you let him do what he wanted to do. and never go to bed mad just tell him you wanna work it out tomorrow. also even if you are not in the moment let them now you love them .

Answer 6

A lot of patience, communication, trust, compromise, respect,
a lot of love and caring
Try to blend with his interest, do things together, no secret,
faithful, loyal, always be there when he need you most, avoid
unnecessary jealousy and argument
Always think that you are dating even if you are married
Marriage is the sweetest thing in life if you can make it work!
Trust me dear! Just follow your heart if you think that he's the one for you!!! Wishing you a wonderful marriage and good luck!!!

Answer 7

well honesty communication love sense of humor and not taking everyithing too seriously. being married for 8 yrs i can tell u a secret tht might help to .
IGNORANCE, sometimes u have to ignore certain things and not let them get under ur skin.

they say finding a husband is easy keeping him a job. and every job needs work.
there is a reason there is a honey moon. cause it gets over in a few mnths after tht its all work dear

best of luck and congrats

Answer 8

A good marriage consists of trust and communication but you have to truly care about one another first. And your spouse will be your best friend. I have been married 32 years and that is our secret. Hope it helps you and wish you many years of happiness.

Answer 9

100% ccommitment from BOTH spouses...that you're BOTH going to honor your vows.

Marriage is between 2 people and if both people aren't committed to every aspect of the marriage either someone is going to be unhappy.....or the marriage wont' work.

Forget about the "wedding" being perfect.....and work on what it will take for the two of you to be happily married.

Answer 10

Always love and respect each other. Even if you're mad, don't be insulting or disrespectful. Always give your spouse attention. Always make time for each other. Even when you have kids, get a babysitter. Don't go to sleep mad at each other. Remember it doesn't matter who's right or wrong. Life is too short and you shouldn't waste time being mad at each other.

Answer 11

First and foremost - love - always remember what it is about your spouse that made you fall in love with them in the first place. No two people are exactly alike so you will find, the longer you are together, there will always be things about them that you find annoying. You're not perfect either so they will find annoying things about you too - try not to focus on those, and if possible, calmly discuss them to see if something can be done about it. Try not to go to bed or leave for work angry. The anger will only fester itself - work things out.

Trust - If you don't trust your spouse, you're setting yourself up for problems. It is not good when a spouse has to feel their loved one is always checking up on them, going through their things looking for evidence of wrongdoing. Unless he or she gives you reason to mistrust them, don't. Don't be blind either. If you see or hear something that is obviously something to be concerned about, try to calmly discuss it before "attacking". Sometimes things aren't as they seem.

Enjoy doing things together - I'm sure you must have things that you both enjoy, so make the most out of it. There are probably also things that one enjoys and the other doesn't. Unless those things are detrimental, it shouldn't mean you should have to give them up - Love is a 2 way street - you should give and take. For example, if he likes to play golf but she doesn't, and she likes to play tennis, but he doesn't - either agree that the other can still do these things with their friends, or else swap and one time she can play golf with him or he can play tennis with her. Taking away something that the other enjoys can only make them resentful.

People need their own space. Yes, you love each other, but sometimes you just need some time to yourself. Those times where he may want to play golf with his friends, might be a good time for you to go out shopping, or sit reading a book. Or - you want to have lunch with the girls, and he might like tinkering with the car. Enjoy that time, as well as the time you spend together.

Finances - Hopefully both of you will make the decisions on big ticket items. Try not to fight over money. One of you will probably be responsible for handling paying the bills, but the other should know all about your financial situation as well. This way you are both aware of what you are spending and how it affects both of you.

Family - This can be a tricky one, depending on how well you both get along with your spouse's family. Always try to be respectful of them and hopefully they will be with you. If you decide to have kids, try to agree on guidelines for them so one isn't always the enforcer and the other the "easy" one. Love them with all of your heart as they are a part of both you and your spouse, and very special.

I hope this helps!

Good luck to both of you. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and fantastic marriage!