Feeling trapped in my life?

Question

I feel like I just can't get anywhere from where I am. I always stress about if I'm going to mess up my future. I have the conflicting, nerd and thug/punk characteristics going at the same time, and I never know if they're going to screw up the rest of my life. I've tried getting help before, but it's as if they no one's even listening, and I don't want to unload my problems on them. Nobody ever listens anyway, so it's never been an issue. I know I need help, but I don't want it. I just want to get out of this f-ing cage I call my life. The sh*tty thing is that I have a relatively good life, but it doesn't suit me, I'd probably be better off in a worse life.

I am clinically depressed, but it feels like something more than just that alone.

And I get angry at everything, I get violent almost immediately. I can't stop it.

Answer 1

You know that you deserve a better life and that, deep down, you have that power to make the changes that you want to see in your life. It is never up to the things outside of you, the power to change your life only exists within yourself.

You also know that you have many positive qualities that set you apart from other people. Right now, you are spending more time thinking about the qualities that you don't appreciate about yourself. Surely, you know of your good side, too. Maybe those things that you don't like about yourself make you endearing to those around you. We never see ourselves the way those who love us see us, do we?

Men tend to express depression as anger. At least you are able to name what is happening to you.

Depression is not your fault. It is treatable. Please, please see your physician and talk about the ways that you can treat your depression. Sometimes prescription medication can help us move away from the tired feelings so that we can shed some light on the issues in our life that we need to change.

It may take some time but it IS worth it. Please don't deprive the world of the wonderful gift of You. Find yourself so you can show others how brightly you can shine: we need you!

Please take care of yourself now.

Answer 2

You sound rather normal to me; depressed, high expectations of yourself and for your life, stymied by the world hemming you in and not giving you an opportunity. I've lived with kids for 40 years in residential treatment centers who have had the same problem.
Now here's the deal. Don't worry about the past, you can't change it. What you can do is to be the absolute best at what you are doing. It's a game. I cleaned off the dishes and loaded them faster than any other cafeteria worker in history, my performance was legendary while I worked there in college. When I got a job cleaning up used motorcycles they were absolutely spotless; nobody could get them any cleaner than I. I was the best and I knew it.
Today, I'm the best at what I do, live with psychotic, delinquent, retarded, registered sex offenders. Nobody does treatment better than my wife and I. That, however, is not good enough for my kids. I love going to workshops to learn how to be better and our corporation sponsors speakers for who come to train us and our colleagues.
Start where you are, be the best. You will see opportunities when they arrive and you may some day be embarrassed by the money that people throw at you.

Answer 3

Trap; pitfall or enclosure or mechanical structure for catching animals affording entrance but not exit and often baited and having door of lid actuated by spring.
Now we know a number of things about a trap, it is an enclosure of some mechanical device, it is for animals, the animal can get in but not out, the animal is baited to induce entrapment, and it is locked into place once seduced by the bait.
Is that about right?
Well now...you aren't an animal, understand that. Although we are of the animal world and are mammalian we are not dumb brutes to be captured by intelligent design. That makes you human, being human you are an intelligent entity. Knowing that you have the ability to recognize what ever bait was used to encase you in this life you call $H1TTEE. Your pitfall can be avoided in the future. Having a degree of intelligence allows you to think of a way out of the trap, as well as reasoning out the means of leaving the bait alone for future references. Consider the tools at hand that will work for you, and the tools that will not work for you here in your entrapment.
How can you break the spring of the door, cage, or barrier that is holding you in.
Talking won't help, you said so, action may help that is a tool that works with or without someone to hear you. Concentration on your tools you have will give you the ability to break down the doors. (I don't know what tools you have at your disposal) Once you get out? Well then what?
The only means I have ever know of to free myself from any traps is God. Perhaps you can't find the tools to the door you are stuck behind, but have you heard a knocking? It could be the Christ. Call on Him he will open up the trap and set you free. Tools He would give you are the Holy Spirit, and people who will listen to you. Men and women of any Christian denomination. Guidance in the here and now would be the Bible. A very deep book, but then you aren't an idiot so you should be able to read, study, and understand the sage within those books.
You've identified your problem and I hope I have clarified it, as for an answer to the future, and ridding yourself of the "trap" all I have to offer is the Christ's way. That is all I know that works. After listening to you? This is the best I can give you.
Open up some doors yourself that are safe to enter, try it God will be happy about it.

Answer 4

Do some reading. To be specific: read up on
Buddhism and the technique of meditation.

I would highly recommend that you find some
of Joseph Goldstein's books:
The Experience of Insight
Insight Meditation: The Path to Freedom
One Dharma

He is the co-founder of (and a teacher at)
the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA.

Best of health & good luck.

Answer 5

Try to be more confident and find YOU ARE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF! Loving and accepting ourselves is THE MOST CRITICAL FACTOR in experiencing joy,happiness, and success in life. When you really love yourself and you really love other people, you find that life is really an incredible journey where things flow, and no matter what happens you always find a way to enjoy yourself and you feel fulfilled. You MUST love yourself completely.
This determines your STANDARDS for what you are willing to accept or settle for. It determines how well you treat your body and your health, how much money you feel you deserve to earn or feel you can make, your belief in whether you can achieve your goals, how much others RESPECT you and how they treat you, and even whether people like you and want to be around you. People love being around confident people. You see, confident people do not feel the need to judge you or tear you down in order to elevate their own self-worth. They radiate a positive energy. You feel safe around them. You need to consistently and confidently take action to move towards your goals, and towards your ultimate destiny. People who lack in confidence often get ‘stuck’. So you see, your entire DESTINY is shaped by your degree of confidence. True self-confidence comes from an absolute sense of certainty deep within, that you are able to handle anything life throws your way. Truly confident people exude calm, control, power, certainty. They care about people, and they make people feel good when they are around them.They never brag – after all, actions speak louder than words. People who brag are just masking their insecurities. People have varying degrees of confidence depending on what activity they are performing. For example, someone might be totally confident in performing a piano concert, or driving a car, but feel totally inadequate at a new job they’ve started, or at flirting with members of the opposite sex. People with Total Self-Confidence, though, have complete belief in themselves. They never ask themselves “Can I really do this? What if this doesn’t work out? Am I good enough to pull it off?” They know that if they really want something, and they are committed to getting it, it will happen. They know that it’s just a question of time until they’ve mastered the skills and knowledge to make whatever they want a reality

Answer 6

Try reading Radicall Honesty by Brad Blanton. I'm forever recommending it but I really can't rate it highly enough. It has transformed how I feel about myself, maybe it could do the same for you. Best of luck whatever you do.

Answer 7

Yer own life is and can be whatever you want it to be, buddy. If you ain't happy...Get Crackin!!! Do something about it.