my boyfriend and i are very serious. he has already asked my parents permission to marry me. But he is leaving to the air force in January. I dont know what would be best for us... Should i marry him??
2007-08-24 15:44:15 · 13 answers · asked by brittbritt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No! Absolutely not. You get married to be together. If you are not together, things happen. Wait until he gets a permanent duty station and you can be together.
2007-08-24 16:07:39 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only question you need to ask yourself, is do you want to marry your boyfriend. My husband is in the Air Force and we are very happy, but his occupation shouldn't factor into your decision to marry. If you are married (or engaged) your feelings about the Air Force SHOULD factor into his decision regarding whether the Air Force will be his career. If you intend to marry him I would marry him before he leaves for training because that way you will be on his orders for his first station. Also it allows you more freedom to be together. If his schooling for his job in the Air Force is over a certain length of time, you will even be permitted to move to the base he is being taught at to live there with him. I am wondering though, if you and your boyfriend are so serious and he asked your parents for permission to marry you, why didn't this conversation come up when he enlisted in the Air Force. How long has he been in the dep?
2007-08-24 16:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by Julie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u r serious & have talked things through then by all means if u r sure that he is the one including the fact that he is in air force then marry him. There are so many couples out there that have been married to men who are stationed overseas. Good luck !!
2007-08-24 16:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it when he gets his first assignment but REALLY think about what it would be like to be an air force wife. I was a military brat and my mom had a really hard time as a military wife (as did my grandmother). It's not easy moving constantly and all the crazy things that can happen on a base. My parents got divorced over the stress but that's just one case.
Just think about it and if you have any doubts then just wait.
2007-08-24 16:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by acatisacomintogetcha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be the only reason you get married. I married my boyfriend soon after he joined the Air Force because he was getting stationed in Okinawa, Japan. I couldn't imagine being so far away so we got married. Things haven't always gone smoothly... we often agree that we probably got married too soon and being married to someone in the military can add a lot of stress. They often work very long hours, and depending on their job they can be gone A LOT.
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...
It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.
If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...
"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).
As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."
I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.
If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
2007-08-27 03:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old you are...
Not only that, but how long have the two of you been dating?
Don't rush into a marriage, just because he's going into the military. That's a bad move.
2007-08-24 20:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, yes.
But you need to be prepared to live as a military wife... If you think you could handle him being overseas... well, then God bless you because you are a strong woman.
2007-08-24 16:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him. You are lucky that your husband (would be) is doing 'something' for the State' you live in.
2007-08-24 16:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by sv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry...marry AFTER he finishes training. (schooling)
2007-08-24 15:59:39 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him when he returns.
2007-08-24 16:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋