I live in constant fear of being raped?

Question

PLZ HELP!!!!!!!

Answer 1

The mere fact you find this type of banter amusing is sick. Thousands of women are raped each year and have to go through hell to prosecute those who did such...some women are so scarred by the experience that they are too afraid to go to trial. I answered a question earlier on why our system is so lax on child molesters...You are the reason why. You think it is funny. You probably should join NAMBLA..go play with the pedophiles for a while and then come back here...after you have no body, no mind left..and ask for pity...as we spit in your face. You are worthless.
As far as those go who believe this individual...I feel for you..I really do...when I first got on this board I wanted to believe the best in everyone as well. I really wanted to think people used this board for the right reasons. I have read what you said to this person..and you are so great. The sad thing is many people use this for their own amusement. So many idiots..one even saying she liked having rape /sex with her father...This only perpetuates the stereotype women ask for it when raped. Perhaps they are just young idiots...but come on. WE HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH. This child finds it funny for whatever reason...and it is so sad. She has never known pain, suffering, heartache...but she is shallow enough to tease the rest of the world with it. Karma is a b i t c h.

Answer 2

You got some pretty good advice from people telling you to see a therapist - and I am going to tell you why. There is not enough space here to help you and whoever does help you has to know what the background is for having this fear. Such fears are very difficult to treat because no one can tell you it will never happen or that there is only one chance in ten billion - even if the chances were one to a billion, who wants to be the one? This type of fear is vicarious on a partial reinforcement/punishment schedule and leads to avoidant conditioning and behavior. You begin to do things to avoid the a truly negative consequence by performing some behavior, the event doesn't happen (is avoided), and the behavior you performed that you thought would avoid it is reinforced because it didn't happen.
One way to "extinguish" this avoidance response is to NOT perform the avoidance behavior and see that the negative consequence does not happen. In this case, though, I would not take unnecessary chances. For example, going out at night alone in a bad neighborhood is just plain dumb. If you are doing the usual protective behaviors, you are not showing fear, you are being smart. Find out what the protective behaviors are. Maybe your fear or the cautions you take are just plain smart behaviors.
Here is where a therapist helps! Good luck!

Answer 3

As one who has been sexually assaulted , in the foyer of her apt building, you need to take the power back, if you have been raped.

If you've been raped , press charges, no matter how difficult it will be for you to do so. Rape is NOT about sex, but rather power and control, so take control of your life again and take back your power. Seek counselling from a victims' support group if you have to or counselling from a woman therapist.

Take tae kwon do courses or other martial arts . Always carry something sharp in your hand as you walk down the street. If you are being raped yell NO loud or FIRE, kick him in the nuts, the armpit, the chest , the eyeballs whatever you have to do, then run yelling down the street in the opposite direction from him.

When he is convicted make darn sure he is put on the sexual offenders list for at least a decade and make your victim impact statement as strong as it can be.

Answer 4

Oh sweetheart!!! The best thing you can do is see someone professional....who deals with post traumatic stress..because that's clearly what you've got..and you need to "re-learn" how to be ok and not have these obsessive thoughts and fears and anxieties.
If you're not comfy talking to a professional..there's great books on Cognitive Therapy or a great book called "Life after Trauma"....these will help..you just have to be patient and caring towards yourself through the healing process. Hope this has helped..big hugs & kisses...I'm sorry for your situation...

Answer 5

I understand you completely! Your not crazy. Your not the only women who feels this way either.

Men cannot possibly fathom what we go through on a daily basis. So forget the insensitive remarks you've gotten on this question so far. They don't know what they hell they are talking about!! Rape is always in the background of womens lives. We are abused constantly by men. They never have to think of rape (other than when they are in prison) like we do. For us, it is a reality, a distinct possibility. At any moment our lives can be irrevocably altered or taken away.

Yes, therapy is ideal. Go a female doctor she'll understand your feelings about this a lot more. I encourage you to do that, rather than come here and be exposed to many insensitive men who could care less. THEY can walk the streets at night quite safely (a-holes). They never have to put up with the sick crap we do in life.

Taking self defense courses will help you feel more empowered. A class like this will also provide you some tools for escape during a attack. Many women are victimized , but you can try your best not to be one of them.

Naturally, there is no guarantee , but you can try to use general rules to minimize risk. (It's horrible that women have to live in a world where men think they can simply destroy us at their personal whim.) Use your wits. My instinct and awareness of my environment, saved me on 3 separate occasions. Listen to your gut, it won't lie to you.

There are women out there who can offer counselling and help. You will always feel a certain level of fear (all women do) but you don't have to let it ruin your life. Don't let these sick men take your freedom away from you. This would only make them happy. Spite them everyday by living a happy life in your female skin. Don't let those women-hating bastards take a moment of happiness away from you.

Be smart, be aware.

Take care.

Answer 6

Maybe you were told to be very careful by your parents to the point it is a severe fear. You may have to go for some couseling, although there is a lot of crime out there. If you have been raped before this could be post tramatic symptoms. Good luck

Answer 7

i would first suggest that you go to a therapist
that will be able to comfort you
but i personally believe that the only way you can get rapped is if you have a strong connection with someone and they decide to abduct you.
America is a safe place and i dont see why anyone would go out of there way to harm someone else to such an extent.
just try to stay positive and keep thinking to yourself that you are safe
hope that helps : )

Answer 8

Daniel H is right, you need to talk to someone professionally and not on the internet. We on the internet just gave you the best advice that we can give..

Answer 9

Stop reading all the negativity in the newspaper and stop watching it on tv. Too much negative thinking causes one to be stressed, and overly cautious and fearful. If your fear becomes debilitating, talk with a therapist.

Answer 10

Sometimes, I have fears too that overwhelm me. Find somebody like a professional to talk to about what is troubling you if it has happened to you or somebody you care about. Good Luck!