i DON'T GET IT!?

Question

I know I shouldn't be complaining...BUT...

Tonight my mom made a stir fry for dinner. I was fine with it. I would just pick out the meat. But she put so much meat in it that I can't even pick it out! (I'm vegetarian, and she knows it.) My parents don't respect me AT ALL. Today I wanted to shop at Hot Topic. My mom wouldn't let me buy a shirt from there for 28 bucks (not as expensive at AE, where I can buy anything), but yet my sister got a shirt and two pairs of pants, all equaling around 40 bucks. She said, "Come on, Erika, I want to get outta here!" She said it loud enough for everyone to hear and I was SOOO embarrassed! She doesn't understand it! And then when I tell her I like something, she says, "Eww, it's black!" No sh!t it's black! She buys me all of these preppy things, and I hate it. I tell her that I'm not broken and she can't fix me, but she doesn't understand that! She doesn't accept me for who I am AT ALL. How do I deal with this?!

I WOULD get my own place, but I'm THIRTEEN.

I don't need to write a letter. She already knows how I feel. I've TOLD her.

I'm NOT emo!

And second of all, I almost lost my dad two weeks ago! He had a heart attack and he's only 47! I'm depressed for more reasons than this. Don't just call me emo. You don't even KNOW me. You don't know what I've been through and you don't know my life story.

Listen to my parents? That means being a little ******* prep that smiles all the time. That's NOT me. Okay?! I don't eat meat for a reason. It HARMS animals.

Answer 1

Sorry that really sucks. I'm a vegetarian too, but luckily my mom respects this, or trys to respect this. I think that if your mom cooks for you like that, despite the fact she knows that your a vegetarian, it's best that you prepare your own food. You kind of remind me of my sister when she was your age. She liked Hot Topic too, and my mom would try to forbid her from going there and wearing black. There's really nothing you can do about your situation if your mom buys your clothes for you. But maybe you could talk to her again about it, but you said you already have.
Oh, and I'm really sorry about what has been going on with you lately. That's a lot for a person, especially at your age, to go through. I hope life gets better for you soon. :)

Answer 2

I agree with the person that said to write a letter. I understand that you've told her how you feel, but sometimes in the heat of the moment we will yell at our parents instead of calmly explaining. I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just going off of how my friends and I are. Explain to her why you don't eat meat and how important that is to you. Tell her why you don't like the clothes she picked out and how you would rather wear the clothes that you're more comfortable with. Let her know how you felt when she embarrassed you in hot topic, parents don't always realize what they're doing. Explain to her that you're still her daughter, but that you feel you should be allowed to chose your clothing. Let her know how it makes you feel that she doesn't accept who you are. Chances are shes having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that you've changed, you're no longer the little girl she dressed up

I'm sure you've told her these things, but calmly writing them out with help her better understand. Best of luck

Answer 3

the exact same thing was happening to me!!!!!!! Eventually, my mom understood. The way I helped her was by yelling (not yelling exactly, but speak firmly) "Mom, sit down, i'm want to talk to you". Explain to her that you want to be the one to talk and that she can't interupt you. Start with the vegetarian dishes. Tell her exactly how you feel. DON'T do that little "calm and collected" thing some people tell u to. The only way she will understand is if you are tough. Edge into the black clothing. Tell her that the money is not the problem. She just probably doesn't want to have a screw up child. I know that you are not a screw up child, but through her eyes you are. Tell her that you are a virgin (if u are), you don't drink (if u don't) and u don't do drugs (also if u don't). Tell her that things could be much worse and she should consider herself lucky. Tell her that when you wear the preppy clothes, you just don't feel right and when u wear hot topic u feel good and beautiful and just right!!!!
cover all of ur problems in this talk. i hope ur mom can start to understand the many layers of u. wow, that sounds really cheesy. ;-)

EDIT:
wow, i did not know about the scoliosis (i hope i spelled that right.) Ur mom might just feel like, well, scared, and loving and a bunch of other emotions. but that doesn't mean that you can't be who you are! i'm sure you are special and sound nice. good luck.

Answer 4

I think it is hard for some mother's to see a teenage daughter as her own person. She used to be your idol, you emulated her and wore her shoes...and now..You are this person who has her own ideas, her own thoughts...and she may not agree with them. It is hard for her to get past that "dream" of how she envisioned you. I suggest sitting down with your mom in a calm way and trying to discuss your views...find out why she seems to have a problem with some of them. Ask her why she is hesitant to support your vegetarianism - Ask her why she does not like your personal style...and when she answers - don't talk, don't think about what you will say next, just listen. Then you can talk..and maybe somewhere along that you will be able to find a way to relate. Good luck - I would not relive the teenage years for a million dollars, it is hard.

Answer 5

You are 13 y/o. You are not your own person, if that means that you can do whatever you want to! It is your parents responsibility to teach you what to do, what to wear, and everything else!

You need to get real and appreciate your parents and that they care enough about you to not let you do what they believe is bad for you and to make you do what they think is best for you.

They might make a mistake once and awhile but you do not have the life experience to judge that. When you are at least 18 y/o, no longer live in your parents house, and are self supporting; then you will be your "own person", and can do what you want to do.

Answer 6

oooook....i know you hate labels and stuff....but ALL emos claim that they're aren't emo. and HELLO, wearing an inch of eyeliner and all black WILL NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS. i understand that you are going through a rough point in your life, but remember so is your mom. maybe she is just trying to make you the kid she "wants." i back you on the vegetarian thing, and you need to talk to your mom CALMLY, and before you ask her to "understand" you, YOU need to understand her and why she will not budge on AE or vegetarian cooking. maybe she just wants you to get protein or something because you are still growing. you can always compromise and tell her you will eat nuts or something. compromise is always an option. it's what me and my mom always do when we clash. after the yelling is over, i ask her her reasons and try to understand her point of view first, then see if we can reach a middle ground. and we always do.

Answer 7

why don't you try to make a deal with her??? tell her if she'll buy you some black clothes, you'll wear something with color every once in a while... it works for me... i wear black the majority of the time, but every few weekends i'll wear a red shirt or something... try a little compromising and as long as you're not all depressed and sh!t she should start to understand that you like what you like...

Answer 8

Hey hon... I love hot topic!
But, until you have a job and can pay for your own clothes, I'd hate to say it that you are stuck with your mom being able to choose what clothes she wants to buy for you and what she doesn't. Do you babysit at all? Mow lawns? Anything for cash? Start thinking of some money maker ideas and save up your money and then your mom might let you shop there.
Sit her down and have a serious talk before you go. Let her know that you saved up the money yourself, and that you want to buy some things there, as long as they are age appropriate(none of their corsets or anything like that) that she should understand that you have a different fashion preference then she does and your sister does.
Hopefully she will be cool to compromise a little bit.
My poor 8 yr old son gets annoyed at me already by having him shop there..LOL. I love that they make some really cool tshirts in kids sizes now!

Answer 9

how old are you? well i guess that shouldn`t matter... so forget it.. i allow my kids to be who they are.. i have never forced anything on them.. if they try and don`t like it then so be it.. i buy my kids stuff from hot topics all the time.. hell i even get some stuff for me.. it`s hard to deal with a parent when they won`t listen to you.. that's why i chose to raise my kids as independents... they are who they are cause of the choices they have made i may have given them the tools to make the right decisions but ultimately it`s their choice.. i wish i could help you but if mom and dad wont listen to you then i do`nt know what to say.. i have been there... so when i was old enough i was out and on my own..

Answer 10

That sucks big time! my cousin who is 14 has the same problem and she wants to move in with me I'm 18 and live in the LA area but theres no way i can do that for her my parents and her parents would be pissed at me

My cousin just crashes at one of her friends house for like a week or two to get away from her parents and then she goes back all refreshed and everything but i suggest you dont do that it just causes so much problems

idk what to say...sorry

goodluck =]