I'm 33,she's 20.We got married last year after having an affair.We were having a very happy & simple married life before she got this Aircrew job.I helped her a lot in getting this job.6 months ago she went to middle-east for training.After going there she's changed completely.She calls me rarely and now want to leave me by showing lame excuses one after another.Its been 3 months since we talked.
2007-08-24 11:58:49 · 28 answers · asked by betrayed2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry that this happened to you. She really is a very young person and probably getting out into the world more has made her realize that she has missed many things. Understand that it really probably isn't about you or anything that you have done. Three months is a long time to go with out talking to your spouse.....I would continue with living your life, do things that make you happy, put some space in the middle of the two of you. Maybe she will see that just what she is missing is you.
2007-08-24 12:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a good thing isn't the always the best thing.
I have to agree, I think you should just go ahead and file for divorce and let her go on her own and find someone more mature and able to understand what you want in/out of a relationship.
It's apparent that she isn't ready to be in a committed relationship right now, she's young still and she's most likely confused about who and what she wants in life.
You were young to once, and I'm sure you didn't have it all figured out by that age either. So you have to understand.
.good luck though.
2007-08-24 19:20:50 · answer #2 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her leave. The worst thing you could do is try to hang onto someone who no longer wants to be with you; to force someone to love you and want to be with you. She may have found someone else or she may just want to experience a life without ties to anyone else. Get a divorce so that you have a clean break. Do not financially support her while she builds a life without you. If she wants to live alone, make sure she takes all the responsibility of living alone. Then, she can truly evaluate what exactly she wants.
Understand that people are brought together in life to learn from one another and to teach one another. It's possible that you and your wife have learned all you needed to from one another and now it is time to move on. Don't feel sad or bitter about this. Thank her for the lessons even if they were painful and then say good-bye. It's now time to find someone who wishes to share a life with you, not establish a life apart from you.
2007-08-24 19:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all it sounds like she may be seeing someone else, and cant for whatever reason just be straight and honest with you. Or suddendly she feels more independent because she has a job and feels she s more in charge of her destiny and no longer wants to be commited to a relationship regardless of how much youve helped her, which is terribly unfair to you. Listen when communication stops the relationship is really over and you deserve better than what you are putting up with.
2007-08-24 22:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 20 a person is not nearly grown up yet. They may act like an adult, but they're just figuring things out. It's too young to get married that young.
One important note, if she thought having an "affair" with you was ok, then she probably thinks it's ok to have it with someone else, which is probably what she's doing right now.
2007-08-24 19:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by realshortshorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not a lot of difference between being age 30 and being age 35, right? But there's a HUGE difference between being 20 and being 25.
I appreciate that you loved her......... but seriously, at 20 did anyone really have a clue what they were doing or what they wanted? You had some fun... you loved a good woman... now let her go, cuz she's already heading out the door.
2007-08-24 19:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At 33 you should have been mature enough to know that a 20 year old is very rarely ready to marry, especially these days. End the relationship before you have kids.
2007-08-24 19:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by PAK 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get a divorce...were you married when you had an affair with her or was she the married one. She probably met someone in her training and she's ready to move on. You haven't talked in 3 months I'd say she's already moved on.
2007-08-24 19:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's found the independence she didn't get to experience before settling down. Now that she sees the possibilities that are opened up by the freedom of having independence, her desires have changed. It's best to choose a partner after you get to that point in your life, but unfortunately, she didn't.
2007-08-24 19:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss.
Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she had some sort of religious experience in another country. Regardless of the reason, you need to move on if she doesn't want to be with you. You didn't start out under the best circumstances, so maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Good luck!
2007-08-24 19:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by mamarat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋