My son's always lived w/me in Ont, Canada. I want to deny any access until he proves to me that he can be a good influence & good father. He's never worked longer than a few months. For years I supported him & my son. He stays with friends, pays nothing back, eats their food, smokes their cigs, etc & uses drugs. He's abused me emotionally/verbally but never my son. He's never tried to see/speak to his son, I always pushed for it..maybe 5 times in my son's life he's asked to see him, then made last-minute excuses & cancelled. My son & I have been living with my parents in a loving & stable home for a long time now, & for 2 years I have been doing f/t schooling, I'm a year from graduating college. He seems to think this is war but I'm doing this for my son's benefit, & would gladly grant access once he can quit drugs & make something of himself. I know I'll have no prob getting sole custody, but will I have to give access? Preferably asking someone with knowledge of family law.Thank you!
2007-08-24 11:55:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Drug use, how do I prove it, can I ask for a test to be done? As for testimonies to his character, yes, I have many. But a lot of people are confusing "custody" with "access"... I'm not afraid that I wont get custody.. I'm concerned that he'll gain access to spite me, and mistreat or be a bad influence to my son.
2007-08-24 12:16:48 · update #1
I just wanted to say that most of all these answers are incredibly helpful, and thank you to those that responded. I cant even decide on a best answer, but I want to express my gratitude to you all :) Thank you!!
2007-08-28 06:14:20 · update #2
The court will consider all of these issues. You can not simply deny access, you need to go to court and have them handle this. You should file for support immediately, then they will deal with visitation. Let the court know all of your concerns and how the father has not been in the child's life or helped you support him. If you truly know he has a drug problem you simply request a drug test from the court, let them know you are more than willing to take one also to make it fair. Request a hair follicle drug test, not a urine test. Many people who do drugs know how to easily alter urine results with over the counter products. Hair follice drug tests are very difficult to tamper with and they trace drug use quite a while back. The court will be looking for stability in the child's life, it seems you have provided that. Unfortunately this will get more difficult before it gets easier, I suggest starting the court process now; it takes a while in some cases. Hopefully the dad will get his act together and want to be a father to his son, sometimes that never happens. Good luck, fight for your son's well being but give the dad a chance if he truly trys to change.
2007-08-24 13:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Chad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the laws are there, but if you have a visitation order he has a right to see his child. If you have a court order for child support and he isn't paying it you can take him to court for being in contempt. If you don't have any of those and you were never married he really doesn't have a right until he goes to court and proves he's the father then he will have to pay child support and get visitation. If you have concerns about him doing drugs, you can ask that he have supervised visitation which may only be for a couple of hours at a time. I hope this helps and God bless you.
If I were you I would get an attorney to represent you, get any police reports on him, and you can request that he be made to take a drug test. If you can prove all or even most of this if he wants visitations then he should only be allowed supervised. Once you go to court and he figures out he will have to pay child support he will either have to decide to straighten up or he won't get anywhere.
2007-08-24 12:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by butterflykisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
courts willusually award custody to mother especially in unmarried cases like this. If support is awarde then dad usually gets visitation rights unless you can show just cause for refusal of these rights. You will need documente evidence of any accusation you make against dad, and hearsay will not work in court. You will have to prove abuse and drug use by police or medical reports. Not easy to do without evidence. To get the courts to order a drug test is really hard, and if your wrong you may have to foot the bill for the test. You can always go for supervised visits with no overnights which might be a better option here.
2007-08-24 13:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, listen to your attorney here. It is obvious you dont like the guy anymore or his values but the bottom line is that he needs to be a very very bad man for the court to take him away from your son. So, he will get some custody, maybe even 50/50 as that is how a lot of cases go these days if the dad wants it. If you have police reports about his violent behavior, then great, but otherwise, this is the guy you chose to procreate with-now you will need to co-parent with so maybe you two need some parenting classes. too bad you two cant compromise, it is always better than letting the judge decide how your life will be lived. and that is the road you are going towards, letting the judge decide for you
2016-05-17 07:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by rutha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can have full custody, it won't be hard to prove why you should have full custody. As for visits, no you can not keep him from seeing his son even if he is the biggest loser on earth he is entitled to have a relationship (somewhat of a relationship) with his son. Although you think this man will bring nothing to your son's life, in the long run it would be more harm to your son to not know at all his father. With time your son will come up with his own conclusion about his father.
2007-08-24 12:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there would be a possibility of you getting full custody. Actually a huge one especially since you say he is doing drugs and everything and that he wants nothing to do with him. Girl you need to get that kid away from him, he is too interested in being a boy and doing what he wants to do and not interested in taking care of his child. You would have no problem getting custody just talk to a lawyer and they will tell you the same thing!
2007-08-24 12:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To prove drug abuse ask for a hair follicle test, it can detect drugs used as long as a year ago. I know nothing about Canadian law in regards to child custody, I do know that in the U.S. one can not keep a non-custodial parent from seeing their child unless they have irrefutable proof the other parent is not fit or would be a danger to the child's well being.
2007-08-24 19:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go 2 a lawyer and petition 4 him 2 give up his parental rights. if he's not trying 2 support ur son by seeing him in person or financially, I don't think there will b a problem w/ u getting sole custody.
2007-08-24 12:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In Ohio he would need to take you to court for visitation rights and he should be paying child support and those are 2 seperate issues. Even if he is a loser right now file for child support it will build up and if he gets a good job you'll get your money even if it means taking it from him at 65 years old.
2007-08-24 12:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by MaRaNdA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but you generally have to prove the father will harm the child physically or emotionally which is a hard sell.. See a lawyer.
2007-08-24 11:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋