I am so depressed and don't know what to do.?

Question

I've had terrible depression since I was a kid. I did have a lousy life at home and now that i'm married with a child it's gotten worse thoughout the years. The thing is that my married life is really good but for some reason I feel like I don't deserve this and I want to leave my marriage. It's crazy but it's to the point where I feel suicidal. I know people will say I should appreciate what I have and now think crazy thoughts but my self esteem is so bad that I feel I should leave my marriage so my husband can be happy with someone else. Honestly I don't know what I want anymore. I feel so unmotivated, so low. I used to have all these plans but now I simply don't care about my life or what happens. I don't want my daughter seeing me like this. I'm just so lost.

Answer 1

If you are sincere in your quest for happiness then I think that this is the wrong avenue to seek it out. There are so many different views and opinions in the Y!A community, you'll only be more confused than you are now. Talk to people in your life. Namely your husband. He has taken a vow to be there for you, for better or for worse. Now this is your worse. Ask him for support and seek out help together. Your child needs you. Please don't continue the cycle in her. She deserves a fair chance at happiness. Unfortunately, you didn't get that chance but you can give it to her and maybe share in some of her happiness and joy. You can't change your past, but you surely can help improve your present and future.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I agree with everyone's recommendation to go see a professional because it sounds like you needs some meds.

One thing that occured to me since you mentioned coming a bad childhood, and this might be a stretch, but maybe your husband is making you feel like you're not good enough. Some people can be really emotionally manipulative to the point where the other person thinks they're to blame. Maybe your unsatisfied with some aspects of your life and he's not supporting you. Which in turn triggers your habitual depression.

I'm playing shrink now, which is not good. So go see someone who can sort this all out. Because it will make a HUGE difference.

Answer 3

Well I agree with the others you should deffinately get so mental & emotional professional help. I didnt have the best of childhoods and things tend to good wrong or I have the worst of luck but if you dwell on the past your not dreaming about or planing for your future nor or you living in the present. Other people cannot make you happy not your husband or your child if you are not happy and do not love yourself first. Seek the lord, and be thankful for what he has provided you health, and a family that oviously loves you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living because you have alot to live for and people that depend on you. They have medication for manic depression so you should see a doctor ASAP.

Answer 4

*Well I am going to have to opt for seeking out the help of a Psychologist and letting yourself vent all of your problems and emotions to someone who will listen and who can actually give you professional advice on the next steps to take.
I mean it sounds like you may need some medication, because it also sounds like you've probably tried to hold it in for a long time, and it's just gotten to the point where your ready to snap.
I don't think that you obviously can "help" yourself anymore, and since you've repressed your feelings for so long...it's now to the point where it's out of control and you feel like the only way out is death. Because in your mind, it's the only logical thing to do at this point.

.I would talk to a doctor about this, it's serious.
.Despite what others out there think, medication can do wonders for you, in fact anti-depressants help to restore the chemical imbalances in your brain that cause you to think and feel...and even act the way you do.
.So medication isn't a bad thing as long as you don't abuse it.

Just talk to your doctor, and they will help you seek the proper treatment. I don't think you need to divorce, however I do think you're under a lot of stress and you just need to talk to someone who will listen to you and give you straight answers.
Your life is fine right now, but in the mental state you're in, you don't see it that way...and that's a problem.

.good luck.

Answer 5

Have the courage to love yourself and accept everything that you have because if you keep on acting this way you are just always going to feel so miserable inside that every good thing you have....your going to lose! So talk to someone who can help you get over all of this depression, or see a doctor! and start living life HAPPY!

Answer 6

my sister...do you know that God loves you? He loves you so much that He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for you, to wash you of all your sins. God can fill that empty place that you've felt for years. He can take away the feelings of despair. Satan is the author of these suicidal thoughts. He would hope that life's circumstances would destroy you but God doesnt want that to happen. No matter what may have happened to you as a child, God can forgive it all. Do you know what it feels like? To have the weight lifted? He said come unto Him, all who are heavy laden and He will give you Rest. He is ready to take your burden. He's ready to give you a peace that surpasses all understanding if you will surrender your heart to Him. I feel so strongly that He wants to show you happiness. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" in His eyes my sister. Dont let the enemy consume you with this depression another moment. I have felt it too and I know that it is paralyzing at times..but God is able to deliver you from it. If you dont know Him in a personal way...get on your knees right now and confess that you are a sinner and you want Him to come into your life and save you. I promise you..He will.

blessing~

Answer 7

Well, I agree with the other's. You do need help. Only I think you need a different kind of help. It sounds like life has dealt you a bad hand. That is situational depression, not chemical imbalance...therefore, medicine will not help; and that is what a phychiatrist would offer you...medicine. Do you go to church? It really seems as though you need a relationship with the Father. Something in your past made you feel unworthy and now you don't want to accept the love of your husband....I'm thinking something was up with your relationship with your dad. Go to church. Read your bible. God made you His own, He comforts you, He gives you confidence, He sets you free, He takes your worries, He gives you eternal life, He forgives you, He can fulfill you, He offers you grace, He guides you, He can heal your body and heart, He has created a place for you in heaven, I could go on and on. Bottom line...God loves you and is calling you into a relationship with Him. Answer the call.

Answer 8

Get off your butt and do something. I don't care if it's just gardening, cooking a new meal, or whatever. Get into shape: workout, go on walks.

The moral here being set goals, accomplish them, and stop being Eyore (see "Winnie the Pooh") or you will have something to feel bad about when your marriage hits the rocks because you are a downer, and nobody can withstand all that gloom and doom forever.

Oh, and nobody cares about your childhood. That was then, and this is now. You are a grown up, so act like one.

Answer 9

Counseling. U recognize that u have a problem and that's the beginning. Do what u need 2 do...take care of urself so that u can b there 4 ur daughter.

Answer 10

You have 2 choices
1. Stay as your are, lose your husband and custody of your child.
2. Get into intense therapy with a new complete evaluation and new medications

Your only 2 choices