Thinking about coming out to my best friend..but i'm so scared that I'll lose her...she really has a low opinion of gays & lesbs
2007-08-24 11:28:12 · 19 answers · asked by quizzed 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Coming out is the best thing that may happen to you. You 'll be freer, you won't have to lie anymore and the most important thing is that you'll be able to share with the people you love all the feelings and experiences you're keeping for yourself at the moment. If the your friend has a low opinion of gays, this is the time for you to make her make up her mind and perhaps change her opinion...
2007-08-24 11:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by Emiliano Y 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friend should accept you for who you are an if she doesn't well obiously she's not a true friend . She shouldn't have a low opinion of gay's and lesbs because at the end of the day were all human and tell her to stop being so narrow minded !
2007-08-26 06:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a really low opinion of gays until I learned my brother was gay. I told him initially I didnt approve of his choice but still loved him and asked him to keep his relationships friendly when I was around. I know it wasn't the best thing I could have done but I didn't totally shun him either. We were able to talk about it more and more as the next weeks went on. Finally I came to understand he didn't make a choice but rather he accepted a reality. At that point, my eyes opened and I accepted it 100% and now wouldn't change a thing about him. My wife and I even go to the gay bars with him and his boyfriend on occasion and have a blast. I know he is much happier having his friends and family in his whole life and not just a portion of it.
His friends had the same inital thoughts of gays as I did. (small town KY) They were blown away upon first hearing but they ALL stuck by him.
Granted, I'm not gay so I'm looking at this from the outside. I can't say how your situation will be but I feel that your friend will either come around or you will be happier in time moving on.
Good Luck and God bless
2007-08-24 18:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by Rudy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
COming out is totally worth it. you dont have to hid who you are. you dont have to wonder if the people that glance your way are wonderinf you are gay or not. You're not paranoid about it. you can just live your life and give everyone else a big "F*** you!" that try and put you down or tell you it's wrong.
As for your friend, if she were a true best friend, it would matter what your sexuality is. She should love you and acre about you no matter who you are. It might be hard for her to come to terms with it at first, but she should pull around and still be your best friend. if not, it's her loss. She just lost her best friend, and you will have won. You will have gotten rid of someone who doesnt need to be in your life and put you down about who you love.
2007-08-24 19:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by makinnabelvoir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this question. We can give you all the encouragement we can but only you can decide if it is really worth it to come out. If you want to live a life where you are free to be who you are, then you may want to consider it. If you life in an area where by coming out, you may be ostracized or even risk bodily injury then maybe coming out publicly isn’t such a good idea.
Your friends’ opinion is just that. I cannot comment on your friendship by making a statement like his/her opinion need change for you. It’s not my call to make but I know what I would expect my friends to do.
Once again, if it is encouragement, you want, you got it! Come out! Be who you are. If it is affirmation you want to stay closeted, then go for it! Do what’s necessary to live your life to the fullest. For every action, expect an equal if not greater reaction. I would like to believe that the universe has a pretty interesting way of evening things out. Good luck!
2007-08-24 18:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Tom W 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Oh yes, it is really worth it! You'll feel so relieved once you told your loved ones...
It won't be easy though...not every one will accept you as you are...
But at least you don't have to live a lie...
And about your friend...if she "dumps" you for this, than she never was a real friend anyway...
Good luck for the future and be proud of who you are!
2007-08-24 19:16:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is truly your best friend it will only make your relationship stronger. If she can not accept it now how will she feel when you have a girlfriend?
I came out to all my friends and my relationships with them got stronger. I lost one good friend because of his own fears and repressed feelings, but that is his problem.
There are situations that I have found better to not disclose my sexuality, and honestly if I had to do it over again I would not have told my mother, not because I am ashamed but because at her age and frame of mind she has a hard time with it. (I came out when I was 36.....It took me a long time to accept myself, I wish you self acceptance and self love now!!!)
Best wishes
2007-08-24 18:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by universatile love 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is worth it. My friend came out to me. We are still friends. Good friends will remain friends after the coming out.
2007-08-24 18:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't like you any more, then she isn't really your friend. I felt trapped within myself before I "came out." So I think it is worth it.
2007-08-24 18:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her and if she dose'nt accept u then she's not your best friend. some time coming out to a friend is easyer than coming out to your parents
2007-08-25 01:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by ashif_noohu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋