(marriage) i am venting if your bored read this.?

Question

i wrote about this the other day but i just need to let some more steam out i guess i will recap quickly in detail for you. I am 28 with 2 kids, married 6 years. I was laid off my job 5-6 months ago. I finally found one i start in 2 weeks. My husband has been paying rent, utility's ect since i have no income. He is highly upset by having to do this and says i owe him big time and i have to pay $ him back when i get my paychecks. He is making me learn my lesson he says by not putting enough food in the fridge for me to suffer and realize what having been laid off has done to me. My son couldent go to school today because his shoes are t small and he wont buy any new ones he says its not his problem. all are utility bills are now past due he says hes decided not to pay them he says since i don't have any income then why should he care. tomorrow the cable, internet, and phone will be disconnected. My cell was cut off last week already. I think i am gonna save when i start working to leave

Answer 1

You seriously need to take your kids and leave this guy. People get laid off all the time for many different reasons and he shouldn't punish you or the kids for something that can't be helped. He is supposed to support you when you are in need and you do the same for him, he shouldn't let bad things happen just because you can't help pay for it. You really need to get out of there, because if things are already this bad, with just a simple layoff even though you already have another job, then things will probably get worse especially if it happens again.

Answer 2

What a selfish and thoughtless man you are married to. I think I would be doing the same thing as you. I would be saving some money to leave too. You are supposed to be partners, but he seems to have put himself on a pedestal.....does he expect you to call him master or sir? He may think he is this all high and mighty controller, but lets see how he feels when he is forced to be responsible because when you leave, you will probably better off anyway and he will learn that having children and a wife will cost him in child support. What a pompous arsse he is.

Answer 3

He is a loser,..in a marriage u need to help each other out. Im married and i see ur point, some men feel like by paying most of the bills then they can do whatever they wish.
About the kids are they his?..he should be ashamed of himself.

Answer 4

Wowo, what does he do with all his money. It is his responcibility to make sure HIS KIDS have verything they need. I really believe you should leave him as soon as you get your job, don't wait untill you save. And make him pay child support, that should teach him to be a better father, at least financially. Don't pay any overdue bills, just move out and pay the ones from your new place.

Answer 5

I always thought when two people got married that they entered a partnership...he's a jerk for the way that he's acting...first off he should be complaining about anything, it isn't like you told him you would'nt work or that you got fired...you lost your job...so what...my advice to you is to give your mom or a good friend a call and leave..let the jerk sit in the dark..he deserves it...Can't get his kid a pair of shoes...I'd take everything the guys got and toss it on the street....

Answer 6

hon, if u are putting up with this... then u are a bigger jerk than he is....

get ur job..
sock money away..for 6 months and
leave this guy...

file for divorce..
and make him pay u child support and then u can go buy the kid a pair of shoes for school

he must have a 2nd life and needs to support his other family.. .. or something..???????

he is to love and provide for u and the kids...
what kind of a deal is this???

u really need to think about what kind of a situation u have gotten ur self into...

u can make it with a job and and child support ..
get a back bone... respect ur self....
he is in the wrong..
but u are wrong for staying!!!!!

Answer 7

If the bills are so tight, then you should have cancelled the cell, home phone and internet when you lost your job. That's how responsible people act. Then maybe your child would be able to have some shoes that fit!! How glad you must be that you can still go on the internet while he sits there with no shoes?? You're husband sounds like a retard though. You people need to grow up and take care of your kids! It doesn't take 6months to get a job when you need the money. You could have started working at Wal-Mart or McDonald's.

Answer 8

you assert you purely want us to be chuffed. undergo in strategies, it extremely is "us" you want to made chuffed, not purely him. You have been against threesome in the 1st place, you went for it besides. (That grew to become into your mistake style one.) I mean, i don't care what you men do in the back of that closed doors, yet once you at the instant are not real approximately your thoughts, you at the instant are not likely to be chuffed. (your husband is probable chuffed, yet you certainly is extremely not) undergo in strategies, deceive different human beings is easy, deceive your self is perplexing. you assert you develop into out of shape after the 2nd youngster, and out of your descriptions of different women folk, (very unattractive female, pleasing female), i will see you're a sprint obsessed on look. nicely, end it. that is not nicely worth it. start up ingesting healthful, workout extra if your weight situation you. i'm useful as quickly as your weight is below administration, you're able to sense plenty plenty extra helpful approximately your self. and probably you would be extra useful approximately your self. you're in a complicated situation, i don't think of I certainly have a answer. extremely, i don't even think of therapy could help. He does not sound like a surprising guy, and that i think of it's time to end dreaming at some point he can substitute.

Answer 9

Your husband is being highly abusive. I really encourage you to pray about this. Ask God to come into your life and give you answers. Speak from the heart and he will answer. Go to a church that inspires you... Evangelical churches have done it for me... I find that the people in these churches really reach out to you and lead you if you let them. The situation you are in is really awful. If you don't want to leave him but want to work on making this somehow work you may want to consider this...

I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...

It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.

If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...

"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."

I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.

If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!

Answer 10

I remember reading this. I'm glad you are saving up to leave but honestly you should go now. Is there any place you can go? You don't need to be treated like this