I feel like my husband loves his work more than me, how can I get him to love me like he loves work?

Question

I read an article on Yahoo that said some people cheat because they feel they don't deserve the gift, some people feel unloved and can't confront why. I don't cheat, but I did confront my feelings of being unloved by my husband. He works too much, and I feel like he loves work more than me. How can I change this feeling?

Answer 1

You can't change this feeling, but you can change what you are doing. If you are waiting for him, and he knows it, wait no more, get busy, with friends, classes, something.....he will take notice, this just might be the wake up call he needs.

Answer 2

my answers are biblical so forgive me in advance. The gulf in this area between men and women is in what we view as 'showing love'. Your husband may think that the greatest form of love he can show is by being a good provider. This in no way negates what you FEEL but keep in mind, what we feel is not necessarily fact so its good to see that you desire to change the FEELING. Biblically, God says our first ministry after HIM is our spouse so your husband should not be putting work over you. If you are a believer, then I encourage you to share that understanding with your husband and together, seek how you can fulfill each other better, Gods way. There are a couple books..., the Bible first and foremost. Marriage is extremely challenging-its so much easier when we use the guide book...which is God's Word.
Othere than that, right off the top of my head Im thinking of
"For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men" by Shaunti Feldhahn. I pray that as you seek Him, He will give you the desires of your heart and your husband will draw closer to you.
Blessings

Answer 3

I don't think he loves you more than he loves XYZ Company. Some people (alot of times, its men) just have a drive to work, are more sociable, etc. I'm in the same boat. My hubby LOVES to get up and go to work... he's very involved, always has been and guess he always will be. Does he have bad days? Sure, everyone does. But, on the flip side, there's me... I'm not lazy, have to work, because I like all the "extra's" if I see something in a store I want, I can afford it. But, each morning, I dread going to work, and can't wait until 5PM.... that's MY time. So, we're all different, so don't look too much into it....

Answer 4

Can you give him that feeling of being important that his work does? Can you give him the feeling that his life is worth something like a good paycheck and bonus can? Probably not. You can accept it for what it is and find your own place in his life which can be just as important as his work, but never in the same sphere. Some of us have found that life as we know it stops short when unemployed and it is rare to actually find a job that you love. Know this...a job is one-third of your man's life. Unless you strike it rich, you'll have to find another way into his attention. Your feelings have nothing to do with his work...it's all about you! Confront the attention seeking issues inside of you, low self esteem, lack of friends, no goals, etc. Your man has no control over your feelings. Those are your own because of what you are thinking.
Change your thoughts and your feelings will change.

Answer 5

well just from reading on here i know lots of women would just love for their husbands to just get a job...lol....but i know what you are saying about being neglected and you need your needs met and fulfilled...how is he when he is home...is he loving or does he ignore you also...if you don't want to cheat you still need to try and make him a little jealous or think you may be looking at it...just start being dressed up when he comes home you know all made up like you been some where. or get a friend to call when he is home and after you answer just hang up like it was a wrong number do this several times...just start dressing different than what is normal for you...dress sexy or low cut pants and tops...or tanks and no bra just do things that will make him wonder whats going on with you. get you some toys to play with and just happen to put one in a drawer where he might find it or something like that. all this will make him pay a little more attention to you if it don't you may just have to live like this or get out and move on....your choice

Answer 6

Men find alot of their self worth in their work. That's why so many are workaholics. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

I went through this for years with mine. He even broke the car window when the lock froze so he wouldn't miss work. It wasn't until he was out of work for a long while that he began talking about his feelings. He had low self esteem and felt the only way he could prove his love was by providing for me and the kids.

Try praising him a little more. We tend to take our loved one for granted. Everyone (even men) need to know how much they matter to someone else. When began doing this he began showing his love more often as well.

Answer 7

He loves his work in a different way than he loves you and that will never change. That is the way it is for EVERYONE. Nobody loves their work in the same way they love their partner because the two are completely different things and relationships. You can start by working on your relationship and pinpoint what makes you feel like you don't get enough attention. For example, does he come home and watch tv for the rest of the night and not interact with you? Does he not make love to you as much as you would like? Does he not say nice things to you as much as you would like? Do you not spend time together as much as you would like? Those are things you can change, but you cannot change his passion for work. There's more to be found UNDER your feelings of being jealous of his passion for his work and that is what you need to focus on (what's underneath). Communicate to him what your thoughts and feelings are when you figure out what it is "underneath". The survival tool to marriage/relationships: COMMUNICATION. Don't listen to a couple of people on here that pretty much told you to use your body and sexuality to gain his attention. You're a woman and you are more than that. People who do that never learned how to communicate constructively and use what they think is their only tool- their sexuality. Your husband will love you that much more if you can be a person who expresses their needs intellegently as well being able to express yourself intimately at seperate times.

Answer 8

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/444vG

Answer 9

That's sad! Sometimes relationships have up and down periods. My husband and I have had rough patches where I would have said no to this question. For the past year though it has been wonderful, and I can say yes, I am truly loved by my husband.

Answer 10

is he the only one that is working in your household? is he supplying more than half of your material needs and the needs of the home? If is working like he is give you the lifestyle that you have became comfortable with, then what you need to do is make the most of the time that you have at home with him and stop complaining and jeapordizing your lifestyle and marriage. go dating again.it doesn't have to be expensive or over the top. simplicity is always great. just let him know that you are putting in an effort to make things better for your relationship and that you just ask him to meet you half way. don't over do it because he still has to go to work.

Answer 11

don't listen to every thing you read . just because your husband loves to work doesn't mean he doesn't love you .did you ever think that he has to work hard to keep up with the bills and he would probably love to sit down for a while with out hearing you say you love work more than you love me . snap out of it life is way to short for you to be thinking like that . be thankful that your man works and brings home the money . i sure hope things work out for you god bless