How can dad's just walk away? Men only!!!?

Question

I would like to know how fathers who claim to love their children can just walk away? I don't want to hear excusses on them not getting along with the mothers. I want honest answers. I just can't understand it, from a mothers point of view. I just would like to see what the real reasons are. Please be honest and don't answer if your just going to blame the kids mom, cuz we have all heard that one.

I know lots of mothers do it to, I am just asking a mans opinion. My husband has fought long and hard to have a relationship with his children and his ex is a real gem. She is a hateful, mean witch who does not care more about her kids then she does herself, but that has NEVER made him walk away from them. That why I say "I don't want to hear it". If you love your kids, then nothing should ever stop you from being in their lives, weather its pay phone, email or in person. I am so not a man hater!!

Answer 1

cause they are too imature to handle being a father, so they think its easier to leave.

Answer 2

Well I haven't really walked away, I ended up having to move away for better employment. So I still see my children a lot less. First off the child support system can be a little rough on the reverse side of it. I pay 40 percent of my income to a woman driving a brand new car in a real nice neighborhood With a husband and a good job. I gave her a newly remodeled home and she remarried the guy she was cheating on me with.So now I am forced to work two jobs to make ends meet , which requires me to work long hrs , overtime, and additional days. I have cut all the extras out of my life. In the divorce I kept all of the bills from the marriage. So I have all the credit whoas that go along with it. When she left she immediately filed her taxes claiming all of the children and automatically bumping me up into a different tax bracket. So that cost me around 5 grand. I wanted to try to quit one of my jobs so I could see the kids more but the child support system wouldn't adjust for it as they said its my total income potential and not actually based upon what I am making. So for the next 8 yrs I am a slave to the system, I do take whatever time I can with the kids and they are now at the age they really understand and miss me, but there mothers financial needs , are set far above the children and there isn't truly much I can do. So before you say , its all the man, there are good guys laboring within the system that would love to be a parent......If we were allowed to be. I believe its BOTH parents responsibility to be financially responsible for the kids. Oh and I still smile and get along with the Mom...

Answer 3

I have often wondered the same thing, though I don't think most men would do it, no matter how miserable they are. I've had friends who have done it and I can't accept it. I don't even talk to them about it because I think I already know why they do it. They are selfish. They do not want to accept the responsibility of being a father. They do not understand the importance of the role God has given them be allowing them to be fathers.

Leaving one's children is a rotten thing to do, regardless of the relationship with the mom. Truth is, I have a horrible marraige. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. We don't see eye to eye on many things and we don't generally talk when we are alone together. We are both good parents, do the best we can to be positive role models and teach our kids values, etc. It's only recently, since my kids are now 18-23, that they even have caught a glimp of any marital discord. We don't discuss it, it just surfaces.

I will never regret spending the past 24 years with a woman I do not love, and who does not love me. I have been given the greatest priveledge a man can have in being a father. I have been there for my kids when they needed me and I will never regret that. The next phase of my life is in God's hands. I'll do whatever I need to do.

Like I said, I think most men probably do the same thing. It's just a few who are idiots.

Answer 4

The word Love is so misused just like word i promise or scouts honor ect. Some Guys also really truly do love there children but the mother makes life so unbearable because men are not women and we have different views on life. Sometimes when that happens and it does have to be serious and alot-the father sees it as major hurt to the children and then just let go of fighting. Then there are those Guys who just dint want any responsibility and run to only take care of themselves. Women have tried to make men into women for along time and now are repeating the work they have put into it. There is hope in the younger generations ,there seeing that and changing the playground...........

Answer 5

Not all dad's can walk away..some are forced away by bitter ex's and, I'm not making excuses but, the court system does not really favor a father. I've spent several thousand dollars on trying to develop a relationship with my son and, the court seems to think that I'm a threat..I have never been abusive or hateful toward him or my ex. So I pay all my child support and, now am forced to live out of state so I can afford to keep a roof over my own head.

"Some men" walk away because of denile or guilt but, not all men are separated from their children for this reason. Be fair to the men who do take care of their children and, don't group us all together.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

There are many reasons...my father, I always thought he was selfish. Then when I met him when I was 25, I realized it was more than that. He did try to see me, but my mother had instructed my aunt not to let him take me...he could see me, but not take me, as she was afraid he'd kidnap me. Instead my aunt told him he didn't deserve to see me, that he wasn't a good father and never would be, that I'd be better off if he'd just leave and never come back. He left and never came back. My paternal family now hates this woman for pushing my father away.....my father may have been selfish, a complete jerk and worthless...but I'll never know because her words were so powerful that she changed the course of my life forever...good or bad? I don't know. I think sometimes people just get bogged down with life and time passes before they know it. Excusable NO, but it may be a reason.

Answer 7

I'm a woman , and I know that you only wanted Dad's point of view, but I'm going to give you the point of view of my son's father, who did the same thing.

He claimed that since he did love his son, walking away was the best thing that he could do for him. He was a deadbeat. Couldn't hold a job, is 30 years old and living with his parents now. I supported him, and he was still a child himself. I left him after my son was born because I was already pretty much a single mother, and after about 3 visits, he said that he wasn't going to visit again... Because he didn't want our son to think that he was a horrible person. My son is now 5 and doesn't know that is 'real' father exists. I'm now married and have a wonderful husband whom my son calls dad.. and it's the only dad he knows. Personally, I think walking away was the best thing that man EVER did.

Answer 8

I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. You don't want to hear it might be because of the mother but the fact is women are vindictive and hateful drama queens in some cases. I've dealt with a real peach of a woman for 15 years now. I love my daughter very much, from the moment I watched her being born. There have been times when I considered walking away because of her mom. So don't give me your self rightoush 'we've heard it" crap. You deal with a woman who can't see past her hurt feelings and desire to punish and then you tell us that that isn't worthwhile reason.

Answer 9

The truth is that women now have absolute power in all Westernized relationships (legally). They call the shots and often blame the men they use the law against. I sat down to dinner w. my wife, stepmother and father 25 years ago to hear her say that if he ever 'disobeyed' her like he had my mother she would take everything and leave him pot-less. Legally she has/had all the power in reality, I've seen him once since because that's the way she wants it.

Answer 10

Sorry, but we don't all do that! I fought long and hard (to the tune of $20,000 in legal fees) to have joint custody of my children! My kids are my life, and they begged their mother for equal time, and she (and her boyfriend) fought to keep me from having any time with them. To her, it was all about getting more child support -- not what was best for the kids. And, the reason for the divorce was basic incompatibility -- nothing more. we really had nothing in common except the kids, and her new "friend" convinced her to dump me. Funny thing -- 5 years later, I am happy, she is miserable, and she finally dumped the boyfriend!

So, I for one gave up a lot to have time with my kids. One more year, and I will sadly watch the youngest go off to college...

Answer 11

honestly, though, that's a huge part of it. my parents divorced because they couldn't get along. that part of it should be simple.

in terms of walking away, it depends what you mean. my father and i are as close as we could be, and he isn't with my mom.

as for the fathers who completely walk away, i'm at a bit of a loss. i really don't understand it either. the only thing that i can imagine is that seeing the kids brings up memories they'd rather not confront, but that's not much of an excuse. frankly, i think it's cowardice, but that's just me, and since i'm not a father, who says you need to listen to me?