Do i stand any chance of of keeping my kids father away?

Question

He's a lying thieving alcoholic waste of space who mentally ground me to a gibbering wreck within 3 yrs. I have 2 children with him. Neither of which he has seen for 13 months. My son is just 2 and does not know him. My daughter is 3 1/2 and remembers about 3 things about him. He's not worked for about 10 yrs (he's nearly 40 yrs old now) and scrounges benefits for drink money. He never paid towards the childrens upbringing.
He aquired money from a claim he made and is suddenly taking me to court to have the right to see them.
I don't believe its in their interest for him to be a part of their life now. They are very very happy and settled now and his pot smoking boozing influence is not something i wish my children to be influenced by.
Do i stand a chance of legally getting him to keep away or do i need to face the fact that the law won't see what i am trying to achieve and grant him access?

Answer 1

I normally dislike answering by saying social workers... for family reasons.

BUT if you request a social worker to come to your home and tell her/him what you have told us on here, they will do a report for the courtroom.

It doesnt sound as though your kiddies ""father"" would be any good to them in the future and the S.W would be able to back your case for you.


I dont know what would happen in court because different judges have different views on dads and children, although there are guidelines for them to work with. As it stands now, he does have a right to see them, and them see him but its not necessarily good for the bairns. The judge will likely put out an ORDER for phsychological reports any way. This can takes well over a year fo them all to be done.

I recommend you see a solicitor who deals with family law. The solicitor will take you through it all properly, far more than we can ever do on here. Some men are great husbands, partners, fathers but a few are right barstewards and no good at being in families.

Good luck love, from GILL.

Answer 2

You need to get a lawyer. If you can't afford one, there should be a Legal Aid office somewhere near you. They do sliding scale fees.

You can seek to have his parental rights terminated. That means you would not be able to receive any child support payments. I honestly can't tell you what your chances are, as we only have one side of the story here, adn it depends on so many things. It is not easy to terminate parental rights though. You won't stand much of a chance unless you are remarried and your new husband is willing to legally adopt your children (from what I remember when I tried).

You can also seek to make sure the visits are supervised. That, I think you have a pretty good shot at that if you can prove what you have said.

On the bright side, they are likely to hit him for 3.5 years of back child support before they do anything else.

Fathers have rights too. You will have to accept that until such time as his rights can be terminated.

Answer 3

Get a lawyer now if you do not have one already.

You can apply to the courts to have an assessment performed by a social worker to see if he is fit to have the children in his care. There is also the option of supervised visits at an agency. If he is a drunken bum who hasn't made any effort to see his children no judge will simply hand them over to him for a whole weekend at their young age.

You may have to consider that he will get to see the children, you have to be pretty bad to have no rights to your children at all. But there are plenty of restrictions that can be placed on the visitations to keep your mind at ease/

Answer 4

The law should grant him access and most likely will. You should let him see them. If he is as bad as you say he is, he will mess up and the kids will see him for what he is. If you keep him away there will come a time when they get curious and blame you for him not being around. In any case, the family court can't just take your word for it. You would not be the first vindictive ex to tell a pack of lies about an ex to get revenge. Judges know this and need to be fair to him and the kids too. He isn't on trial.

Answer 5

Yes if he is as you say he is. Noone deserves a life like that i myself came from a broken home i know what it can be like the law can be very fair useually it prefers kids to be with mother rather father but only stops fathers from taking part in there lives if there is phsical or mental abuse.I dont know your exact circumstancies and i aint no professional but dont stop a father from seeing his children just because of your own feelings.If there is no violence just bite your lip and let him have access if there is no risk . if there is risk then court is best let them decide dont make the kids hate you or him.

Answer 6

Dont worry, he wont stand a chance to see them when the law gets in the middle, if he is that bad then you have to not worry. But then again its not up to you really its up to your children if they want to see him or not, I know they are still small and havent realized how much a dad is worth but when they are older they will, and they could end up hating you for keeping them away from their father...

I know about this because I have experience, i grow with out a father different reason but he was nearly the same he rubbed buses and had affairs with like 10 different people, and well my mother didnt decided to keep him away from me, he walked away him self but i still hate my mother for some reason which I dont know what it is....
so think really carefull of what you doing here...

Answer 7

get an attorney and file a restraining order against him and list all these things that you have told us and I am sure you will have no problem getting this order . also you could try to terminate his rights concerning the children but that would also mean not getting any child support but that does not mean anything according to what you have said . In other words he does not sound like he is capable of paying child support anyway . I hope I helped and god bless you .

Answer 8

Honestly this depends on how much actual proof you have of his activities. If all you have is word of mouth the court will not buy it. You need character witnesses who can state they have seen him drunk, he drinks on the regular, he has no job, etc. Worse case scenario he'll be granted supervised visits.

Answer 9

You should be able to get him stopped but gather as much evidence as you can to prove what you have said in your question. Any judge will see it is not in the childrens best interests and could even be harmful to them.

The Judge will consider the children far more than he will consider you.

Answer 10

Legally, he has a right to see the kids. Get letters from friends, family, etc, anyone that can vouch for the type of person he is. Take those to court with you. If he asks for visitation, ask if it can be done supervised. Find out if he has any DUI's or charges on his record...use everything you can find out.