Why do couples with kids think marriage is more of a commitment??!!?

Question

I think this is so weird, especially from the under 20 age group. A couple have a kid together but when asked if they will get married say no coz it is too much of a commitment!!!!! You have a CHILD together for goodness sake, how can you say about too much commitment when you have something more special??!! I HATE this attitude!!!

Answer 1

I absolutely agree - I can't even begin to understand this attitude - what I see is No Commitment - they stay while things are cosy - but not being married gives this get out of jail free clause - they can just walk away - I believe that life is to easy now - there is no sense of "having" to make a commitment. People "go with the flow" - SORRY NOT GOOD ENOUGH - are people not watching/reading the news this yob culture is as a direct result of this "no commitment" society we live in. Nobody takes responsibility - they always have someone/something they can pass the buck to!! -- MAKES ME SPITTING MAD!! -- my father used to say "we get the society we deserve" - he is so right.

Read the answers from kids from unmarried/divorced/separated parents - stop kidding yourselves that they do o.k. - THEY ARE damaged by your shallow behaviour!!
get real - take responsibility - your are responsible wether you accept it or not!!!
mothers and fathers need to behave responsibly - do not have babies unless in a "commited" relationship - i.e. married - I'm not talking about being virgins when you get married I'm talking about not getting pregnant before marriage - NO EXSCUSES these days - a child deserves to be more than the result of two people who didn't know how to behave - or maybe a trap!! - they should be the result of something special - a commited loving relationshop!!!

Answer 2

My wife is the best wife in the world and we have sailed through 11 years so far. We are blessed that our love grows and grows. I agree with you that marriage has taken some hits over the last decade but I don't think the issue is commitment to one another. I think that the changing role of women in society has had a profound impact on marriage. Since the 70's women have been encouraged to go to college, have careers and to flourish as individuals. It did not always used to be that way... One of the unforeseen results of this shift has been the way men now view women. Marriage used to work because a husband and wife formed a team and each player worked for the greater good of the family... With modern women no longer being dependent on a man men have taken their foot off of the gas pedal and no longer place women on the pedestal like their fathers and grandfathers did. You have to remember that there were millions of bad marriages in the 40's, 50's, and 60's... but unhappy women with little skills or money of their own had no where to go.... and if your man slapped you around the only thing a woman could do was to try and make sure the meatloaf wasn't so dry the next time... simply put women no longer need to put up with crap from men and a lot of men have no idea how to find that balance of being a provider and seeing their wives as equals... so divorce is up. I think younger generations still believe in marriage but they view it more as something that they may have 2 or 3 in a lifetime and getting a good 10-15 years with someone is impressive... you have a point about commitment... I don't think people really stop leading individual lives anymore... even after marriage.

Answer 3

Too many people rush into having kids either planned or not planned and they should really think it through first.

Marriage should be treated as the sanctity that it is, I also think it is far too easy to divorce and it is sad that so many children are growing up being shuttled between parents and listening to the constant barbs from each parent. I grew up with divorced parents who constantly split up and got back together 'for the sake of the kids' well I wish they hadn't bothered.

I think if you are committed enough to make a baby you are committed enough to get married. Of course there are people who don't believe in marriage and that is up to them.

Answer 4

A comment from someone in the over-40 age group: One should only marry a compatible partner who one loves, regardless of whether they have a child together. The situation of procreating before having a committed partner should not be compounded with the mistake of marrying someone who is not appropriate to be one's spouse. The attitude I don't like is pressure to have a "shotgun" wedding.

Answer 5

It makes me think of the thing I can't stand, which is women on here asking whether their live in boyfriend of 5 years will ever marry them when they already share a home, children, financies, etc, and he's said he doesn't want to get married!!!! So WHY are they living with them if what they want is marriage?

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. How is marriage more of a commitment when you can always divorce someone years later if it doesn't work out. You can't send a kid back once your'e bored of it!

Answer 7

You probably see that answer because the couple weren't in love. They didn't intend on getting married and probably didn't intend to get pregnant. I think that what they are doing is pretty smart. Why marry someone you have a child with, it actually doesn't benefit the child since the parents very rarely stand one another. Just so that child knows they are loved, that is enough for me.

Answer 8

Your right a child is at least 18 years of commitment!! That's a pretty big one if you ask me....

Answer 9

Immaturity

Answer 10

You hit the nail on the head with that one! Why can't people at least get married before having children? I don't understand!!