I've always had dreams of travel, helping others, and doing things to make life seem more worthwhile. But my wife wants the traditional house, car, and much $$$$. These things don't matter much to me. I understand you need money to get things, but it's not one of my priorities. I have a good job and make a better that average salary. The only reason i don't quit is because it pays well, but I feel empty and my life feels so pointless. My wife says I'm a dreamer and spends (our/mostly my) money on things and we already have enough sh**t already! I don't want to be rich, just comfortable and happy. Our different spending habits are causing LOTS of friction. Any answers? Thnaks.
2007-08-24 08:26:17 · 5 answers · asked by Nash M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You CHOSE to marry her as she is. Where were your "priorities" when you said "I do"? It's not your different spending habits that are causing the friction in your marriage, it is the lack of communicating what you wanted BEFORE you got married that is causing the friction. Probably if you had discussed it in detail you wouldn't be at the point you are now.
2007-08-24 12:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you make more $$$ than she does, you do have slightly more of a "say" in this matter, but if a house, etc. is important, you will have to compromise or she will feel unfufilled. Are you planning to have children? Having kids will make the house almost a necessity! I say come up with a plan that will allow you to travel, give money to charity, etc., as well as provide a nice (but modest) home for you as a couple. Most jobs are unfufilling, but perhaps there is something you can do with your skills that is worthwhile and pays decently. Most people do want creature comforts and while there are some (like yourself) who will sacrifice them to serve others, this is rare. If it's that you can't afford a home at this time on your salary, then it's time for both of you to save.
I would also consider volunteering if it's possible, since you can contribute to a cause without dedicating a ton of time to it. There are many volunteer opportunities out there. Perhaps doing something like being a Big Brother would work for you (if you'd like to give back to a kid who doesn't have a father figure in his life). There are very few BBs out there...they are always looking.
Just try to do what you can. I have a very similar personality, but serving can be draining as well. Have a good balance. Peace will come to you when you do!
2007-08-24 15:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by cancankant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to you because I am the same way. Find an organization or something in your community that you can volunteer with. You are not a dreamer...you are a person with a good heart that has alot to offer to people. That makes you a rich person and that is admirable.
Good luck!
2007-08-24 15:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up your own dreams or what you are passionate about in life. Take away her credit cards.
2007-08-24 15:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you happy,sometimes you have to Sacrifice( well she does)
2007-08-24 15:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋