Do you think?

Question

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.

"You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I took the final step...
I joined the Democratic Party.

I am a Republican, folks, duh! I guess this joke isn't as much as a joke, as it might be the truth. Liberals DON"T think!

Answer 1

Classic!!! Here is a star!


ITS A JOKE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! geeeeez

Answer 2

Look at what all that thinking did to you.You named only Thoreau,Muir,Confucius,Kafka and
Nietzsche,leaving other greats like Sartre,
Socrates, Plato,Aristotle et al.Probably if you had read the rest of the famous philosophers
you could have started your very own political
party and become its Chairman Emeritus and
given the Democrats and the Republicans a run
for their money.It is still not too late.

Answer 3

Was there a question, or just a neocon rant.

It must be so depressing to have to rant on and on like this because there is nothing positive to say about a neocon administration that has failed and bumbled it's way through six years of embarrassment and incompetence.

If you weren't so informationally challenged I would give you my pity.

Answer 4

Thanks, I loved it, and it is so true, the Dems are not supposed to think, they are supposed to believe what they MSM feeds them and repeat what Kos and Soros tells them.

Seems they have had a frontal lobotomy.

Answer 5

Get a life and quit wasting hours posting this crap.

The Republican party has been hijacked by hatemongers of the worst stripe.

Answer 6

Ah, I see, All that thinking drove you crazy and you became a Democrat...too bad

Answer 7

Hate to burst your bubble, but the "Left" ARE the thinkers! The Right-wing is the status quo.


I think, therefore, I am!

Answer 8

Non-thinking democrat that bashes democrats? hmmm is that how you define Republican?

Answer 9

IF you were truly thinking you'd be an independent American like me, and not just another mindless party lemming.

Answer 10

I think your funny.