Does no one today value honesty?

Question

IWhen is it wrong for your husband to lie to you?
My husband and I own a plumbing business. Today he was still home. I was downstairs. I heard him and asked why he was still home he said he was thinking about what material to use on a job and was also thumbing through a book to see what material he could use on a job. When I came up he was watching a movie with the book on his lap. Is that a lie cause he didnt tell me he was watching tv? My husband can't watch tv and think for some reason his whole head get sucked in. When I confront him he tells me in a sarcastic tone he will never lie to me again. (Even when I ask how I look) He said when I had asked how my hair looked after going to the hair dressers "that it looks like a helmet". He also said" when you colored your hair both times it looked like ****." How do you like that truth. When I said it makes me wonder what else he is lieing about he called me a crazy women. Now I am wondering if I am over reacting. What do you think?

I already asked the question and all I did was get attacked and everyone said small lies are no big deal. Small lies lead to larger lies. Honesty is the best policy. I can see lieing about a birthday present.

How do you not start to doubt other things?

When the customer called to where he was supposed to be at what am I supposed to tell them? Hes watching tv. Because that is what he was doing. I had to cover for him. Because i AM THE OFFICE MANAGER.

Sorry about the caps.

Answer 1

i hear ya, got trust issues myself. i tell my husband the same thing all the time, but i don't think he out & out lies to me, just doesn't think about including all the details.

to answer your questions: i do value honesty, just sure seems like not too many other people do anymore though, huh?

and it is always wrong for your husband to lie to you; even if he doesn't like your hair or whatever, he can be tactful in saying that it doesn't make you look your best without making you feel like a dog. but you can't change someone else.

has something happened that he is worrying about? and that may be affecting your relationship. i mean, you may not know the answer to that question, but there might be, and he may not be telling you so as not to worry you.

don't get too caught up in worrying about "what he's not telling you" -- unless you get some proof that there IS something and it's something that you really do need to know. we all change as we age, so it could be a 'midlife crisis', so to speak.

Answer 2

To me, that's not a lie. It was true at the time when you asked him what he was doing. After that he thought abt watching a movie. Maybe he needed a break to get his day going. he cld be he wanted to destress himself before he started work. I dont think he had the intention of lying by doing that. Come on, he is your husband. Dont jump at him over such a trival matter. Give him benefits of doubts and trust him. You ought to always support your partner. Sure you know how to answer your customer in a more ethical way than to make your spouse look bad. Marriage is built on trust.

Little little things can make our spouse loose respect for us when they get frustrated. And that is when they start to get easily annoyed with us and do the same to us.

Sorry i am a woman and i dont take your side in this situation. If you love your husband be kind, patient, understanding and supportive. It is not worthwhile to doubt his integrity

I wish you a good and happy marriage.

Answer 3

I understand your question but that is a man if that is the worst lie he has ever told then u are a blessed woman he didtn even realize he was lying givae him abreak. I mean I understand the fact he lied I really do small lies lead to big lies but like I said b4 he probably didnt realize he was lying

Answer 4

Lighten up.You're making way too much of this.
So he got waylaid in looking up material he needed and started watching a movie.It's not the end of the world.

I don't even consider what he did to be a lie. I think you need to relax and let up on this.It could lead to far bigger problems.
Does your mind not wander away at times too?

Answer 5

ok human being tell a lie atleast once. some tell a lot and some tell a little. he isn't your type. maybe you are overeacting a little bit but your husband isn't all the mr. perfect either. try to make the best of it and try not to make him lie. good luck.

Answer 6

you consider that to be a lie?

Let's switch shoes....you're in the kitchen, cooking dinner. He yells from upstairs, "What are you dong?"

You answer, "Cooking dinner".

He comes down and finds you making orange juice, is that a lie?

Do you realize how absurd that sounds?