My husband left for a so called bussiness trip.?

Question

I haven't heard a word from him in almost three weeks.The last thing was an IM where he said he was sick and he would let me know when he'll come back. He doen'st answer his phone to me or anyone else. I was in contact with my in laws everyday to find out if they knew anything. Days went by, and finally my mother in law told me that she knew that he wouldn't come back, 'cause he was with another woman in Mexico and living with her and her family. I felt angry towards her, 'cause I didn't know what to do and there she was knowing the truth and witholding it from me. She still wants me to drop of my little girl at her home at least one day per week. I do not want to do that, since I do not trust her anymore. If she was capable of denying important information, what she could do if something happens to my daughter and she won't tell me ? Am I rigth or wrong? Please I need some advice. Thank you

My daughter is two years old and everytime I drop her off she cries and trows a tamtrum. When I drop her off at her nanny, she is so happy, that sometimes makes me a little bit jealous.

The reason I couln't suspect anything was that he practically living out of a suit case for bussiness. For that reason, I never suspect that he would leave for good.

Answer 1

I think you should tell your MIL to come by your house to see the child, under these circumstances I wouldn't let her go either. I would get a lawyer and file divorce papers, and seek sole custody of your little girl. Then I would probably move somewhere close to your family if you can. Sounds like your husband is a louse. Didn't even have the balls to tell you he was leaving you, what a jerk. It wasn't really in your MIL place to tell you, but it wasn't right when you asked the first time for her not to say what was going on. I wish you the best of luck, hope all works out OK for you.

Answer 2

Well, this is a fine mess.

First you must establish as a fact that your husband has indeed let you and left the country. I would first go to the police station and file a missing-person's report. Tell them that you have not heard from your husband in 3 weeks and you are worried about him. Do not take what his mom said as fact, she might have an alterior motive and be lying.

The police will investigate, but you have to stay on top of them otherwise, they will sweep it under the rug as another unsolved mystery.

After leaving the police, I would go to a lawyer and find out your rights and options. You actually have a few.

1. If you do not hear from him again and can not locate him, after a few years (depending on your state) you can have him legally declared dead and collect any life insurance.

2. You can beat him to the punch, so to speak, and file for divorce on the grounds of abandonment, in which he will have to pay you child support and alimony.

Now, I stress the importance of doing everything in your power to FIND your husband. What if he actually is layed up in a coma somewhere and you divorce him. That would not be very nice.

But once you have tried with no success to locate him (with law enforcement's help), then you can discuss with a lawyer your options.

Good Luck!

TT

Answer 3

I'm not trying to make excuses for his mother, but there is always the possibility that she didn't tell you because she wasn't trying to talk her coward of a son to come back home and face the music. Be a man, make a decision, and own up to it. Or, she thought he would at least be grown up enough to tell you the truth himself. I do understand the mistrust but tell her exactly how you feel, she might be able to put your mind at ease or at least you two could come up with some way for her to visit your child, so your daughter doesn't lose contact with 2 people who have been in her life all within the same timeframe.

Answer 4

I understand why she didn't tell you. A mothers obligation is to her own kids, so she's going to do what the child asks of her. Doesn't mean she likes it. She may have even tried talking to him about how wrong it was for him to do that to you, and that he needs to talk to you about it. Feel grateful that she did finally tell you. I'm sure it probably breaks her heart knowing her son is living it up in Mexico while abandoning his wife and child. As for the trust issue with her, it's really something you have to work out.

Sorry to hear the sad news, but good luck in the future.

Answer 5

my guess is that your mom in law really didn't want to be in the middle of what her son SHOULD have told you in the beginning. AFTER your over you anger at her stop and really look at your situation. IS your daughter close to her grandparents? If so is it REALLY fair of you to keep her from them because you are angry at them? True your trust was broken from her but why make your child suffer for it. File for divorce yourself as soon as possible (It can be down without him you know) and try to get on with your life. Your husband was a coward and a liar and you should try to rise above that and be a responsible good role model for your child. Teaching forgiveness(even when you don't want to) is the best thing to do for all of you

Answer 6

Do NOT drop off your child with your mother in law. You don't know what she is capable of doing if she is willing to hide the fact that her son has a whore somewhere and condones him cheating.
Get yourself a lawyer NOW file for divorce on grounds of abandonment. This will put a "freeze" on all of your marital assets and he won't be able to bleed your finances dry, if he tries to he will have to repay it all when you go to court. Start keeping track of when and if he calls/emails you (print out the emails and IMS), keep track of everything your mother in law says, If you have an answering machine that records learn how to record conversations, if you don't have one I suggest you do get one. All of this is admissible in court and will give you more leverage.

Answer 7

this story is unreal. he must have been a shaky guy to begin with to be able to disappear with no word to anyone. regular people would have a hard time doing that. question really is, what are you gonna do when he comes back? yikes!!! i would see a lawyer right away. does this mil babysit your kid? i wouldnt trust her. in fact her explanation of where he is, in mexico with another family and 'he wont come back' sounds very suspicious. i would demand she give you a number you can call him at. i would demand to speak with him at once. .....but thats just me.

by the way, i am no psychic, but the words 'criminal activity' are going thru my head. just cause the mil says he's in mexico with another woman, who the heck would believe a word she says? i would watch out and not trust your husband and anyone from that family. personally if my husband told me he was sick and then i did not hear from him i would go to the police. do you live on the edge and dont feel comfy doing that? this story is very weird. get a lawyer.

Answer 8

Your husband is a lowlife sorry SOB! Get a lawyer and start divorce proceedings immediately!

As to your mother in law... give her the benefit of the doubt... She obviously cares about you and your dtr and was trying to avoid hurting your feelings by not telling you the truth.

Having said that, though... If it were me, I'd still allow my child's grandparents to have contact with her, but SUPERVISED. don't allow any overnight visits, but keep regular contact. Invite your inlaws to your home to spend time with you and your dtr.

With dad dropping out of her life the way he did, she doesn't need to loose anyone else right now!

Answer 9

well, you have to understand that even though she knew where he was and what he was doing, she might not have told you right away for many reasons. she might have tried to talk him out of it for a while and didn't tell you at first. she is HIS mother and that is where her loyalties are. just because she kept the information from you it doesn't mean that she is not capable of taking care of your daughter. i think you are keeping the child from her out of spite. do what is best by the child. if she doesn't want to go there, then don't make her. get a lawyer ASAP.

Answer 10

coming from a guy, you don't have to take your child over to the in laws house at all. If you want, you can make it so your daughter never, ever sees them again. But you have to ask yourself, would it be in the best interest of your child. If your daughter is an infant, then they will not miss your in-laws in the future. if she is older like 4 years old or around that age, and she loves them then it is different. why dont you just move and never communicate with your EX-in laws again. Be done with him and them.