My husband and I have been together 2 years, been married 1 year. We have a great life together, we know that we love each other, but with working all the time the romance has gone out of our lives, I'm one of those women who is very affectionate, and wish he would show it.
We have a great sex life, and we do show we care outside of the bedroom, after I have asked for a cuddle or a kiss, but I would love more ... I know that sounds selfish, but when I say more I mean more cuddles, more kisses, just affection more often.
He has never surprised me ... ever, he doesnt buy birthday, anniversay or christmas presents, even though I go out of my way to find something special for him......
Any ideas on what I could do in a subtle way to get him to show more affection. (his family are not ones to show any affection, his mum admitted that they are not ones to say that they love you or anything like that, so he has gone through his whole life like that)
2007-08-24 05:58:14 · 13 answers · asked by todamnlovable 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes there is lots of ways to change things if you want to work on them and i say work. a good loving relationship take's lots of work every day. well i could go on for ever on this subject so if you want more things to do and to try just send me an email and i will send you more of what to do..if i tryed doing it in this space some would think i was some sort of weird o. also tell me your ages.
2007-08-24 06:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like how his family is and how he was raised. About the gifts, try buying him little presents all along. If he likes golf, buy him a pack of his favorite golf balls, fishing ? a good lure, his favorite team ball cap. Give each other little wish lists for birthday and Christmas. Little wish lists, 1 or 2 presents. And expect nothing in return. About the affection, sounds like family issues on his side. You will have to accept that. You can try to sit close to him when watching TV, holding hands. When you walk in the mall, hold hands, at restaurant sit on the same side of the table, touch his leg while you talk, (his leg, not his $%^&) Look at him, give him that sexy little grin. Be casually affectionate. Do not force yourself on him, just take it real real slow, after a few months you will see him more affectionate.
2007-08-24 13:16:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy. Any woman knows what a man wants. Turn him on!
Get the kids over to grandma's then meet him at the door when he gets home.
Take a long hot bath, and shave real close! Do up your hair and make up real nice. Wear nothing but a lacy black garter belt, seamed stockings and black high heeled pumps. Maybe add a string of pearls, and lots of his favorite perfume.
When he gets inside, give him your best bj, but don't finish. Have him take you anywhere in the house, except the bedroom. The two of you will never forget this night!
2007-08-24 14:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by Julius4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you hit it with the info on his family. Great insight.
I would suggest you stop equating him starting the affection as the only way to show love. Think about all the things he does. As long as he loves to be close, don't worry too much about who started it.
On the presents, perhaps you can talk to him and tell him how that is important to you. Tell him that in your world, it is a way of showing you care. Tell him it is not the money but how much thought and effort he put into it.
2007-08-24 13:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His family history is not the problem.
the problem is the same with 90% of marriages.TIME and REST.Couples are apart too long and too often.Let him know in not too subtle ways that you feel protected when he holds you.As you know cuddling will lead to the Kisses you want.What I am trying to say in not too subtle Chinese is Play baby more often and don't come across as too capable,be needy and daddy would respond.Do you have a daughter,how is his interaction with her?She is your competition ,Silly though it may sound.Her feebleness is what he responds to.find your own grown up feeble trait
2007-08-24 13:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's kind of sad. Maybe on those days you should go buy yourself something wrap it and put it on the table the night before after he goes to bed and in the morning say...Oh honey you didn't? I love it...I am so glad you did....lol
He might freak out a little trying to figure out where it came from but it might also show him how much you would enjoy it if he did.....good luck
2007-08-24 13:04:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the same person you married, and you should realize that people don't change just because there is a piece of paper between them. If he never surprises you or buys you gifts, I am gonna bet he did not do that kind of thing when you dated either. See, same guy. You just want the rules to change now that the game has started and you might not be able to achieve it.
2007-08-24 13:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You start it don't wait for him. Why does it always have to be the man that starts the romance? Women are just as capable and men like it when the woman takes charge once in a while.
2007-08-24 13:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u been married two years only its not ages girl. u can never make a man change his way of showing love why would u want to force it. its him its not like he is cheating or anything. so don't sweat it. just give him more and more of ur love i think that mite make him think of doing the same for u
2007-08-24 13:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by baby doll 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sucks, im sorry to hear about it, and you have only been married a year, you really need to talk to him about it, otherwise you'll be misetable trust me or one of these days he is going to lose you.If he loves you he'll take a listen and consider doing some changes!
2007-08-24 13:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by Gen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋