I got married in June of this year and up until the night before my wedding my best friend of 11 yrs said she'd be there. Well she didn't come to my bridal shower and she was supposed to be my maid of honor, took the dress and didn't call or anything so my husband at the time said forget about it, we had enough stress so we had just us in the wedding party so I said nothing to her except that I was hurt when I would ask her to go shopping or help me plan stuff and she ditched me every time. Well, she never showed up to my wedding, and in fact I didn't hear from her for about 2 weeks after then she texts me out of nowhere and asks how my honeymoon was. She didn't even congratulate me or give me an excuse on why she didn't come. Eventually days after that she told me she had some family stuff going on and that's why she wasn't there. I'm still hurt to this day because she'll talk to me every once in a while when she's bored but that's it.........
2007-08-24 04:59:01 · 11 answers · asked by Kimmy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
now her mom is getting married tomorrow and she keeps asking me to come (i wasn't invited to the wedding, just the reception) and I really don't want to go. I know I shouldn't hold a grudge but I am still hurt and I'm not sure if I should even go. What would you do?
2007-08-24 05:00:27 · update #1
She isn't even a friend anymore really and I never hear from her. I'm not making any decisions because of what she did to me because I let it go, but just the feeling of not being good enough ever to her just bothers me. Like my feelings don't matter. :(
Thanks for your opinions!
2007-08-24 05:53:30 · update #2
be the bigger person and go.
2007-08-24 05:04:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she doesn't value the friendship as much as you do. You are married now and just need to get on with your married life, don't fret about this girl, if she is a good friend she will contact you sooner or later and ask what's wrong and why haven't you called her, then you can tell her you're married now and you husband comes FIRST. And that's a FACT. move forward,
If you feel like going to her mothers wedding reception go, if you don't feel like going, DON'T. YOU are in Charge of YOU no one else.
Just be happy with your new wonderful life with your husband and let the rest fall by the wayside, IF you so choose. Congratulations I hope you'll be VERY happy.
2007-08-24 12:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by gone! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditch her sounds like she's jealous of you. If you care about her mum, show your face at the reception to wish her well, if not don't go. I could not respect someone who could do that to me, best friend? god help you. Why take the dress and not show up? you wouldn't do that to your enemy, she could have explained, sounds like she thinks she can get away with whatever she wants and you will still be her friend. Don't you have any mutual friends who could advise you, Im really annoyed with her and I don't even know you lol .
2007-08-24 12:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the big question isn't, should you go to her mom's wedding, but why she didn't participate in yours. The story you wrote spells out a deeper problem. 11year friendship (I assume) is close to half of your life, if she was having "family stuff" going on you would have known about it. Before I would even consider attending her mom's wedding I'd have a heart to heart with her, really ask her the questions you havn't spoken out loud. It sounds like she is hiding something big.
2007-08-24 12:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by steph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure I would not go to her mother's wedding reception, especially since you were not invited to the wedding. As far as your friend goes, ditch her too. With friends like her, who needs enemies?
2007-08-24 12:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never know if she really did have something going on. Something she is scared to talk about with you? I sometimes do these kinds of things because I have anxiety. But then I feel bad and can't tell my friend what is wrong with me.
But, I would be irritated if I were in your position as well.
I would politely declined her invitation.
2007-08-24 12:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look if it was me I wouldn't go not even if she did or didn't go but if you don't feel like going then don't and don't let it get to you that she didn't go to your wedding may be it was better that why you were happy and had fun so don't let it bug you that much because you have other friends that did go right!!
2007-08-24 12:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by la_temeraria_1999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if she did have something going on she could have at least called you to let you now she couldnt come and why I definetly wouldnt go Just tell her something came up then see how she feels
Good luck!
2007-08-24 12:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by I_LOVE_MY_BOYFRIEND!!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you feel hurt and you have reason although you don't have to remain mad to ditch her as a friend.You know what she did wasn't something a friend would do and the fact that she never apologized is reason enough to cut off your relationship.We grow and when we grow we need people around us who help that growth,people around us that inspire us to be like "mike" you know what I mean??Forget about her friendship and chalk her up to experience,an experience that you are finished with.Good Luck.
2007-08-24 13:29:00 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
apparently she's got the head of a granite and won't understand ur p.o.v. until it's done to her. i wouldn't go. and that's not just me being a b****...if she wasn't there for u on one of the most important events in ur natural life who's to say she won't let u down again? oh say, for the birth of ur first child or something.
2007-08-24 12:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by Angelface 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be anybody's doormat. These kind of people are not real friends. You're wasting your time with her. Your husband ought to be your best friend now. You be faithful to him and to friends who've stood by you.
2007-08-25 07:18:05 · answer #11 · answered by jael 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋