I have a very low self-esteem and I'm sick and tired about it.?

Question

I've never put myself above others, never felt better than anyone else. I'm having a difficulty in communicating with others, thus cutting the chance to make and meet friends. I always thought people will dislike me and afraid of being rejected. My life's good but why am i feeling this way...eversince? Does anyone out there feeling the same way, too? Please help me understand.

Is there a way to end this

Answer 1

This may come as a surprise to you, but most everybody has those feelings at one time or another. When you walk into a room and you feel self conscious about yourself, you should remember that most everybody there feels the same to some degree or another and most won't ever realise what you are going through, as they are so concerned about feeling self conscious about themselves. Don't worry about rejection as that can happen whether you worry about it or not. Chances are, you won't be rejected as most other people are looking for a friend, just like you are. Besides, as Eleanor Roosevelt said "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission".

http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/SelfEsteem.html

Answer 2

Yeah, I've had a real problem with self-esteem and confidence and such my whole life. I don't know why- I had a great childhood with parents who were always telling me how marvelous I was, so it wasn't them. But outside forces (mean girls in middle school, the boy in high school who turned you down for a dance, etc.) kind of build up all life long, leaving you sort of vulnerable and scared of rejection, etc. Right? All I can say is, you have to make at least 2 really good friends. When you have 2 people in your life who you know are always in your corner, it will matter less what a roomful of strangers thinks about you. Also, you have to face those fears head-on- it will be tough, but sign up for a class or start a hobby where you KNOW you will have to socially interact. It will be awkward at first, but you will see how you come out of your shell within a few weeks. Luck!

Answer 3

I have the fear of being rejected; everyone has. What you should do is look for your best point and develop it. Give everything your best shot as well. Do whatever activity you like and discover yourself. Remember, you need to love yourself first before others love you. And also, when it comes to deciding major problems, choose the one that will work for the greater good. If the greater good does not include you, think first if you can handle the pain. If you can't, don't be embarrassed. Everyone has a weak point, and if people can't accept or respect you for that weak point, they're not worth learning about your true beauty.

Answer 4

Me too.. I feel in the same way too and I think I am even in a worser situation than you because I have panic and anxiety disorders.When I am in the public, people gives me strange looks as my head will tremble and I am very depressed and angry what people are thinking, judging and even laugh at me in the public. I don't have much friends because most people in the public as well as most of my university classmates isolate me when they see that I have this mental illness and I don't think I will recover soon or can live as a general people in the society after that. And I know it is difficult to get rid of those negative thoughts or fears from your mind by your own without external help. Hope that helps.

Answer 5

You must have experienced something from the past that make you feel this way. Like me, I used to be an achiever. always aiming for the top and finishing my goals. Then, for the past several years, I changed. I never finished anything. I have always been afraid to be on top. I would not push myself to finish what I started because I would always think its not for me and I don't deserve it.

Just last night I was having a conversation with my bf and as we went through it, I realized that I failed to finished college because I failed to finish 3 subjects and the University expelled me. It traumatized me. Ever since, I would always be afraid to finish something. I have had low self-esteem and confidence and it stopped from doing a lot of things including reaching my dreams and face new people with head held up high. But now that I have identified it, I have created possibilities, the need to do something about it, like finish my schooling or start to forgive myself for my failure because sub-consciously, I have been blaming myself, I see myself as a victim, not a victor. - You may not know it now, the history why you have low self-esteem, but one day you will come across that story and you will make a break-through. - Remember, avoiding your fears only make it stronger.

Answer 6

Sounds exactly like me, I feel this way I think because I just never seemed to measure up to my peers, I never (still haven't) had a boyfriend, or even been asked out for that matter, I was never popular, well-liked, but never popular. My mum was always telling me negative things about myself and sooner or later I started believing them. I'm in college now, but my maturity level is somewhat of a sophomore in high school. I think I've missed out on crucial life experiences because of my fear of rejection and of people making fun of me so change it before it's too late! You'll wake up one morning and realize you're life happened and you weren't really living during half of it. Good luck and sorry I couldn't give you more tips.

Answer 7

What you project of yourself from within to others , is too how others will respond to you. I believe once you see yourself for who you are, A Child of God.. with great potentials and wonderful opportunities that are yours to succeed in, if you only try.. then the world opens up so magnificently! i use to feel inadequate , ugly and didn't talk hardly. Well, i entered a beauty pageant, two years was in the finals, and Queens court. I took a speech class, went to get a full make over, and found that confidence increased as i did things for me. I focused on my talents i discovered i had or wanted to have, instead of fearing jumped in and attempted , rather i thought i would fall flat on my face or not. I found some wonderful things , all the people in my life that said, "I couldn't do this or that", I wouldn't amount to anything".. I got a tougher skin, and did it anyway. I loved to sing all my life, and people commented negatively regarding , even teachers in High School.. well, i auditioned and got to sing at Disneyland not once , but twice for their Christmas production.. It was the highlight of my life!.. If i hadn't believed in me, or not even faced the fears or the possibilities that as much as i could be rejected, i could too be accepted. I never would have had this most wonderful experience happen in my life!.. Self esteem comes from within you, it is a gift you give yourself, not from others. It is the determination of your soul, the belief of having faith in obstacles that come, no worthy thing comes without work, and dreams so deep your heart could bust.. Don't worry what others think of you. Just be who and what you want to be, with determination. You'll attract the same people to you as you are inside, so use that too as your guide where you are at in life. and how doing .. many are shallow images of what they want to be, running after material things, and don't have the solid foundation of truth inside of integrity and purpose. that is the real joy of life, to know you have depth inside you.. not the fleeting things.. good luck

Answer 8

You know it's a mind game that you have to play with yourself to get out of that funk. Then it will come naturally. Just tell yourself you are gonna have a good day, and you are better than others. Make it a goal each day to have a good day... It may also be that you have too much time on your hands. I used to run across that when I had too much time on my hands. Fill up your days with stuff to do like school, work, volunteering or working out! Best of Luck!

Answer 9

Let me elaborate: "I've never put myself above others, never felt better than anyone else." THIS IS NOT A BAD THING! Modesty is great to have. You just need to understand that you are NO WORSE or BELOW anyone else either. Nobody is perfect and nobody, rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, happy, sad, is better than anyone else. We all have a right to live, to enjoy life and etc. I'm sure you are feeling negative about something about your life, your family/friends, or something about yourself physically. Just remember, NO ONE IS PERFECT. Be modest, be genuinely interested in other people and please, be good to yourself.

Answer 10

The reason you're feeling this is that you're trying to please your parents in the way that you live. Regardless of how your Momma or Daddy feel, you MUST do the things that YOU want to do. Go out to the woods or desert or beach, where ever alone would be for you and deside in your mind that you know right from wrong and that you'll live life the way that YOU want to, and by your own convictions.