When we are young, we are encouraged to "never give up on our dreams."?

Question

Now that I am "middle aged" I know that I have had to give up on some only to replace them with others. Is that a normal part of the aging process? Did you give up on your "dreams of youth" and are the dreams you replaced them with better than the initial ones.

Answer 1

Erik, I would NOT call 39 "middle aged", but to answer your question...yes. You are getting to the part of your life where you realize that the dreams of youth need to move aside to be replaced with the dreams of our mid-life.

That is if you are a normal human being who just wants to age gracefully and stay true to themselves, this is what you do.

A lot of men go into a "mid-life crisis" at this point because they CAN'T let go of those early dreams, and then they just end up scr_wing up their lives badly trying to fit those young dreams into a middle aged body.

The direction our lives take, are from choices made by us. We can choose to be swayed by the opinion of others, but nobody makes that final decision for us, BUT us!

Your youthful dreams may have been exciting and adventurous. The trick is in perceiving your new dreams as just as exciting and adventurous, but in a different way.

I have never been sorry (for long anyway) at dropping those youthful dreams and replacing them with more appropriate ones to the person I am now.

After all, if we never changed, then life wouldn't be worth living, would it?

Answer 2

When I was young I was taught that most of my dreams were unrealistic (like becoming a writer or artist) so I gave up on them before I was out of my teens. It's only now that I am approaching middle age and old enough not to need or crave my parents approval on things that I've gone back to school to study something that I love instead of something that will give me the biggest paycheck. My dreams are definitely different from when I was young and probably more realistic. I didn't have a particularly happy childhood so I tend not to look back on my youth as some wonderful magical time in my life.

Answer 3

I really do think it depends on the dream. I have had my grandsons in youth football dream of being in the NFL. Although it is a very long shot at best I have not discouraged the dreams. Usually as we mature we will find a good middle ground. I think dreams are great motivation. I always wanted to be an attorney but now Im a nurse.

Answer 4

Yes it is called Realism. I think your generation was flooded with' You can be anything you want if you just follow your dream' and it sadly is not true. In previous generations people were just more than happy to have A job. No one ever discussed' Are you happy? So in answer to your question , Yes, you need to balance goals with realistic assessment of your skills, desires, abilities etc. Sounds like you figured it out on your own though so good for you.

Answer 5

Anyone who never changes their dreams either had very realistic dreams, set their goals too low, or are idiots! Life is a great educator, and the wise person goes with the flow. Swimming upstream can wear you out...and you could easily drown! When we are teens, we dream grandiose. When we are adults, we temper dreams to fit reality AND our true nature. Teens rarely know their true nature. And, if the dream was unrealisitic, to "Never give up on dreams" can only lead to frustration, low self-esteem, and feelings of failure. NO thanks.

Answer 6

yes, it's very normal. dreams change. never give up on your latest dream. of course you have to give up a lot of dreams when you realize you are not willing to make the sacrifices it would require to pursue that dream. for example i don't have a PHD because i want to spend my time on other things. i'm 46. i have new dreams. of course what you want when 10 or 18 or 22 or 30 isn't what you want now. things change as we learn and grow. we always need dreams to inspire us but we need the freedom to change them as we find out what they entail and whether that is the right path for us. (ie when the baby is born it makes it harder for us to follow through with other dreams-but we have a new dream of parenthood and family life)

Answer 7

you give up your childhood dreams because you know thye sometimes were impossible this is normal my father told me about this the dreams are replaced with better ones because you now understand what you want in life but you still never give up on your dream becasuse now older more mature and more educated you know what you must do to achieve that goal

Answer 8

I've never given up on dreams. I've outgrown a few, laid others aside as priorities changed, figuring I might come back to them later.

But if there's a dream I really want [which there isn't, at the moment] I think I'd pursue it as long as it took to outgrow it, or lay it aside.

Answer 9

Wow, this question sounds just like a blog I wrote a couple of months back on this very subject! I have pasted it here:

It is interesting to think of how our interests and dreams we had as children affect our lives today. What experiences did we have that led us to pursue those dreams later in life or to give up on them? Why isn't everyone working in the career field that they always dreamed of as a child? I really don't believe that it's because our interests change all THAT much. Yes, some do, but the strong ones remain throughout life. Like me for example: When I was a kid I was obsessed with dogs. I had posters, books, drawings, oodles of stuffed animals, all dogs. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. So what changed? Certainly not my interest in dogs. But as I got older, common sense (and other people) came in and told me that I should not be a vet due to my severe allergies to cats, and a mild allergy to some breeds of dogs. So now I have re-focused on other areas, such as pet therapy. Mostly as volunteer work, maybe a career someday as an instructor for getting dogs certified.

My point is mainly... What changes or experiences in our lives cause us to abandon the dreams and interests we had as a child? Is it because someone tells us we can't do it, or because setbacks discourage us and make us give up? So many people work in jobs that they hate, or at least aren't exactly what they would love to be doing. And granted, those positions have to be filled, but we live in a world of so many unhappy people in regards to their careers. Right now, the job I have is one that I love, thankfully. But I also have other goals like doing pet therapy, which goes back to childhood, and I think would be ultimately fulfilling, even if I never made a career out of it. Of course, you have to have food on the table... but I think that people would be happier in their jobs, even the mundane ones, if they at least had a goal and were taking steps to reach that goal of their ultimate desired occupation.

Even when I worked at Old Navy which I did not like, I think I was a little happier while I was taking my A&P class because I felt like I was on my way to something better. I think that we are unhappy when we are stagnant. Sure, it's comfortable and familiar, but it's not really living life to its fullest. Even just knowing that you TRIED to pursue what you really wanted is more fulfilling than not trying at all.

Of course, my ultimate dream job is to be a mother. But who says I can't be a mom AND a pet therapy volunteer? Why limit yourself to just one occupation? Something from a book that I listened to recently: "Do what you love and the money will come." Is that optimistic? Yes. But thinking positive is surely going to get you closer to your dreams than focusing on the negative. I am talking to myself here, too!

Anyway, not really sure where all of this came from, I am just bored and have too much time to think, lol. Hope it was of interest to someone.

Answer 10

it's normal , not all your dream gonna be true. But don't never give up be strong like a rock.