My ex-husband keeps leaving me voicemails about how I have a disease. I am ambivalent and can not make up my mind about whether to go back to him or not.
He also claims that I am inefficient because I don't get things done.
Today, he left me a message about being an "irresponsible mother." He has custody of our child and now has sent her to live with me in another state.
I don't want to let his comments get to me.
2007-08-24 04:50:50 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yet, he still says that I am fortunate that he still wants me in his life.
2007-08-24 04:56:41 · update #1
He says this because I have not taken steps to go back like selling my stuff in storage, closing bank accounts, packing car, etc. He says that I am fortunate that he is still interested in me after all this.
2007-08-24 07:44:31 · update #2
This man is verbally abusive and you should not consider going back to him for any reason. He calls you "irresponsible, inefficient and diseased," not exactly words of love, and then tells you that you're "fortunate" that he still wants you, as if no other man could ever possibly love you in your horrible state. Don't buy it! Move on and get away from this loser, he will only bring you down. You deserve so much better, don't settle for garbage when a feast is waiting out there somewhere.
2007-08-24 05:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Harley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First don't even think of going back to him. Second, how often is he calling, this could be considered harassment. Put an answering machine on. let him record the messages, these are admissible in court. Don't let him run you down to think he's your only option, he isn't. This is all a mind game that your child shouldn't be in the middle of and you don't need to deal with. Since he sent your daughter to live with you, get legal custody of her and tell him to get lost.
2007-08-24 06:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing to do is to get child support asap by going to the court-house yourself and filing. yes you can do this without an attorney.
second.. your ex is trying to control you, still, so don't allow this to go on. do not answer the calls and delete the messages when you get them. You now have a child to look after so focus on that alone.
get an attorney to get you custody asap. this you'll need an attorney for, before he tries to take the child back.
Be strong for yourself and the child.
Remember, he just wants you to feel bad and hes controlling you. don't let him control the way you feel about yourself.
2007-08-24 05:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you believe the things he said about you? I suspect you might believe some or all of the things he said either totally or parts of what he said to you whether or not those things are true. Please seek counseling you may have a problem with stinkin thinkin and you need a checkup from the neckup. He is hurting and hurting people hurt people. He is a control freak and very upset you broke part of his grip, so he is trying the psychological stuff to either bring you to him or to make you feel miserable like him. He did not want custody he wants you. He is a peckerhead that cant please a woman in any form.
2016-05-17 04:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets back into this- your fortunate he still wants you- whow- he really has a big opinion of himself, you need a GOOD laugh over this one- I think you deserve it. ALL of the messages he leaves you are meant to do ONE thing- tear you down- CONTINUE to degrade you- and destroy your self confidence and self worth. I happen to know a whole bunch different- your worth 100x his worth just because you have been honest with yourself. Stareyes- you need to start building a wall of Resistance to this man who thinks he can talk to you any way he wants to- ever think of just deleting the messages without listening- or leaving a voice message to him that says- until you can talk to me in a tone that is NOT condensing then I will not talk to you. Offense is the best defense. I think you need to re-read that last sentence time and time again and too realize how manipulative he is with his words. Offense/Defense. Try it it works. I am right here- let me know how its going. By not playing into his game you do not become the VICTIM.
2007-08-24 07:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, do not let him abuse you like that! Why would you want to go back to a man who is emotionally abusive? Be the best mother you can be and if he says something negative to you, just smile and say: you are so insecure, why do you have to put other people down to feel good about yourself? I feel sorry for you.
Ignore his messages, if you let his mean comments get to you, that's exactly what he wants and his mission is accomplished! Find someone who will love and respect you! Good luck!
2007-08-24 05:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously not over you and is angry at you for leaving him. He doesn't think your a bad mom cause otherwise he wouldn't of sent her to you. He wants to break your spirit down, so that you will feel you have to go back to him. The easiest thing, limit all contact. If he leaves you messages, erase them before you listen, if he calls, give it straight to your daughter, you don't have to talk to him if he is causing you emotional distress! Do what you can, he will eventually get over it and he will be the one to look like an idiot!
** Also record the messages, they could be great evidence if you ever take him to court! :)
2007-08-24 05:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by TootsieGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get custody of your child, get a restraining order against him, and if you know the v/m's are from him, just delete them. You don't need to hear that. But, if you get the restraining order, you'll need to save them, so you'll have proof he's breaking the law. Sorry you're going thru such.
2007-08-24 05:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋