Okay!! 8 years ago me and a guy in the military had a crush on each other but never did anything because we were both involved with other people. After we broke up with our other halves we were upfront about our feelings for each other. But we were at two different military bases and couldn't really work out a long distance relationship. Well he and then had a big micommunication abot something and didnt talk for a while. I then married and had a family, but always had this guy in the back of my mind. So I went searching for him and he was doing the same. We found each other and have been talking. He knows I'm married and I know I will never cheat on my husband, BUt lately in my marriage its been pretty rocky and even thought of divorce, and since I found my old fling I've been thingking of divorce even more. Not because I want toget back with him because thats not the case, but because I've realized more that I'm not happy in my marriage, but i dont want to hurt my kids HELP
2007-08-24 04:16:06 · 8 answers · asked by roxy s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You hurt your kids the day you had them because you knew deep down you that no one would ever be good enough for you. You can hate me you can cuss me out but the fact remains you never really gave your husband a chance to make you happy.By you looking you old flame tells it all.Do you know what your teaching your kids about marriage,if your unhappy just get a divorce and you will be happy. If you have boys they will hold what your doing against every girl they go out with.My husbands mother wanted a divorce but my father in-law wouldn't give it to her so she would go see her boyfriend every weekend.My husband held every woman accountable for her actions. Remember you are only thinking of your happiness and no one else's .
2007-08-24 09:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think very hard before you take that step. What if after you leave your husband you and the other guy don't work out? Would you still have done things the same? If you can honestly answer yes, then your marriage is probably over and it's just a matter of time anyway. I've never seen the reason of staying in a burned out relationship just to say you tried. It's not healthy for the couple or for the kids. However, if there is any spark left for your husband, you owe him and the relationship a fighting chance, even if that means counseling. You have alot of soul-searching to do. I wish you the best.
2007-08-24 11:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, you are selfish. The sole reason you are unhappy in your marriage is because you are sitting around daydreaming about how great you think this guy was. All these positive attibutes you are giving him are figments of your imagination and probably not at all how he really is.
Your marriage would be awesome if you'd stop thinking about this other man and commit yourself to making the marriage the best in the world. You did take a vow to do that you know. You say you'd never cheat on your husband but you are sort of doing that already by spending time thinking and looking for this other guy.
It's highly likely that you divorce, start seeing this guy and he's is resentful of your kids because they aren't his, you guys fight a lot because in reality he isn't half the awesome guy of your dreams and he disappointed that you have an ex he has to deal with cause of the kids.
You aren't gonna get a free pass to divorce from me cause I think what you are doing is so wrong to your husband and your children. You need to grow up, stop focusing on some guy from your past and be a good wife. If this guy is willing to carry on comm. with a married woman, then he obviously has low morals anyways. Stay married.
2007-08-24 11:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by philosophy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel sure that you want to end your marraige then make sure for sure that its for you, not another potential partner your doing it for.
This other guy mat well have done you a favour, in the fact that he has made you realise that you are not happy. But you could ask your husband to go to marraige counselling with you, just to see if anything can be worked upon, and if not, you can walk away knowing you gave your marraige your best shot. Then give yourself a bit of time and space before hooking up with your ex again. Good luck.
2007-08-24 11:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you hurting your kids more by being in a rocky and unstable marriage, or by amicably parting ways? It sounds like you have finally come to the realization that you settled in life and are unsatisfied. That is why I tell everyone I know who asks for my advice about marriage is to DON'T SETTLE. Marry only when you have found exactly what you want, and make damn sure that is what you want.
2007-08-24 11:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never do something for the kids, at the end they will only huert more. Be uofront with your family and let them know you are ot happy. You may still be able to save your marriege, if not you may leave and go on with you life, yor kids will still have you and their dad.
2007-08-24 11:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by ME 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to end your marriage before you get involved with this guy. So, if the marriage is truly over and you want out, end it and then begin to see this guy. Good luck!
2007-08-24 11:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to say this but you should leave this other guy alone and TRY to work out your marraige.
2007-08-24 11:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by Brandi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋