Why dont we see divorce as a social problem?

Question

What I mean is that when people get divorced, it is usually the children who suffer the most. Then these children take the scars into adulthood, and perpetuate the situation. Why can't we do something about this as a society?

In response to the question what would I do...I think that we should have some marriage preperation classes, with emphasis on how to deal with problems that come up in life, and how to communicate. And yes, I realize that there are situations where divorce is better than staying together. However, how do we protect the children, so that they dont make the same mistakes. I feel that kids learn the most from watching our example. How can we make our example better?

Answer 1

I don't agree with you. Divorce is a social problem. People think its acceptable to marry at a whim and instead of working out their problems they get divorced. If people didn't rush into marriage we wouldn't have an ever increasing divorce rate. Children suffer but not nearly as much as their parents. They are the ones that have to deal with the heartache and rejection as well as try to establish a normal well balanced life for themselves and their children. They are under a lot of pressue. Most of the time the kids just whine and moan and don't help the situation at all

Answer 2

Children also bear the scars of growing up in homes where the husband and wife stay together even though they are miserable. There are times when divorce is the most loving option for all involved. I know, I grew up in a home like that. And it has taken 35 years to undo the damage.

What we as a society REALLY need to do is to stop pushing the idea of marriage onto young people, so these unions don't form to begin with. Even as little girls we are programmed to start thinking about our wedding day, how to catch a husband, etc. We need to stop putting so much focus on the romantic fantasies of marriage and teach our young people that they can be happy, whole people living independently. And for those thinking that the human race will cease to exist, just look around... marriage is obviously not necessary to continue the human population.

Answer 3

Because many children are scarred far worse by being subjected to the emotional and sometimes physical abuse of living in a house where the marriage is unhappy or unwanted. A happy single parent home is preferable to a miserable 2 parent home.

I think our society has it turned around. It should be harder to get married and easier to get divorced. If people had to work at getting married they might actually give it some thought before they jumped into something that is bound to end up in divorce court.

Answer 4

This is why they have Children Coping With Divorce Seminars teaching parents how to make this period easier and how to deal with the issues that may come about. They also teach the parents what behavior is appropriate verses inappropriate. As far as pre-marital classes are concerned...in my opinion..like some other answerers pointed out..alot of people jump into marriage young. How many of these young people are actually going to take this classes seriously? And many of the older ones marrying aren't going to want to be bothered with this class which may only serve to further encourage living together without being married which in my opinion is a bigger social problem at the moment than divorce.

Answer 5

Nowadays people think marriage is "cute", meaning they just get married for the fun of it. Not realizing that it is a covenant with God. Also, men have to wait on God to send them their mate, for the Bible states " he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord". It seems that the women are the ones looking and rushing to get married, and sometimes it be for the wrong reason. However, if a couple is married the Bible also states, what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Meaning, whatever the situation, God will help you work it out.
I think people need to read and believe in the BIBLE. If you read it, it's only a book but if you read it, believe it, apply it to your life, it is the guide........
Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth
It's called the BIBLE!

Answer 6

There are so many underlying issues here. Unfortunately, the children are the ones who always get hurt, so I agree with what you say. Too many "adults" act too selfish and stubborn. They are too quick to marry and too often a pregnancy is the reason for marriage. What ever happened to morals and decency? Society as a whole would have to revert back to a time when marriage was sacred and children weren't used as a means of retaliation on another person.

Answer 7

Because people aren't asking the question you are. People don't realize the impact of a fast-food society (meaning I want it now-or I don't want it) has on us as a whole-including the impact of grandparents divorced-it doesn't just stop at parents. I agree with you on the classes. My husband and I spent 6 months in premarital counseling-once a week we met with a sponsor couple who was married and met with a priest monthly. At the time, we would make fun of it-but now we are both grateful for it. A lot of things are better because we knew before. I don't get mad at his need for time for himself-because I knew that was important to him going into the marriage.


For people that don't consider it a social issue. Children of divorce and second generation divorce-show lower test scores, less likely to attend college, more likely to abuse/use alcohol and other drugs. All those things are social issue. One of the biggest consequences of divorce many children find themselves living in poverty level or low social-economic levels-and the single parent can't provide for the child.

Answer 8

I called it quits after 30 years of marriage, I was physically and mentally abused, I wanted till my daughter was on her own, and decided it's now or never, you can't make people stay together who are unhappy and fight all the time. In a perfect world parents would part ways and be civilized to each other, this is not a prefect world.

Answer 9

I like to look at divorce differently. When divorce was looked at a shameful, how many women were abused and battered because divorce was shameful? Not that way now.

I am also of the opinion that men are more often than not the cause for divorce.

Why not look at divorce as a way for women to get out of bad situations. I think that is the real social problem.

Answer 10

Because we have become a disposable society. If people would value the non material things in life things may change. but as adults we teach our children if we don't like something to throw it away and get new....that goes for marriages too. I am honestly hoping I am teaching my children what a good solid marriage is and that yes you will have hard times but you work them and not just walk away.