i been married for 3yrs and im 17wks pregnant ..my husband told me he has not been happy with me ..that he never love me but he cares for me .but he dosen't want me to leave..i dont know what to think anymore what do i do ... i cant just walk away from all this ...what about my baby how can i react...
2007-08-24 03:23:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off I just have to say what a jerk! To say that to you now after you're pregnant... he should have thought of all that before you were married! Makes me very angry for you! Anyway, now that you ARE married AND pregnant you should ask him to go to counseling with you. If he won't I would go by yourself. I would enlist the power of friends and family to help you because you are going to need support. Even if he doesn't leave you and you don't leave him you must be so hurt emotionally. Take care of yourself and good luck.
2007-08-24 03:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by girlnextdoor409 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is horrible thing to say especially since your carrying his child and all the emotions you have right now. I think that he may be confused I know that your hormones have probably been all over the map and maybe this makes him think you don't love him anymore and is trying to protect himself from getting hurt by telling you lies. If he didn't love you he wouldn't be with you. I think you should focus on the things that make you happy in your life (I know they may seem far an din between) but go out and be with your girlfriends, go shopping for cute little outfits for your baby to be--get your mom or sister or best friend and start planning a baby shower for yourself) After you have thought things through and have considered all your options open up to your husband and give it to him straight--If he doesn't provide you with the love and support you need by showing u then tell him you think it's time HE leaves. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you and your family.
2007-08-24 03:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He Waite's til your 17 wks pregnant after 3 yrs of marriage to
say this. What took him so long? Honey, I know your scared and dread the thought of raising a child alone but have a little self respect. I would pack his bag and ask him to stay with a friend for a while you need time to think. He might be afraid to be a dad. I would put him to the test no contact, no emails, calls for a few weeks That will be the only way you will know if he is in it for the long hall or wasting your time in a loveless marriage.
2007-08-24 04:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but you are married to an idiot. how old is he, he thinks marriage is a joke, he has a brain of a child. He does not love you, but he does not want you to leave, what kind of mental games is he playing. He for sure sounds immature and not ready to settle down. If you can raise the child on your on then leave and go far away from him. You for sure don't want your child to be raised by another child. Or you might be raising to children, your child and your husband.
2007-08-24 03:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to a marriage counsellor and ask for advice. Communication is key to a relationship. Talk with your husband and discuss why and what is the reason he's not happy. What was the reason he married you for? When everything is clear to you, you'll have a better idea what to do next. Good luck.
2007-08-24 03:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by Hanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have six daughters; one day they were plotting together and I heard one daughter ask the others, "how can you tell if a man is happy?"; all the others said in unison, "Who cares!!!!", and then they all laughed and chortled with glee. So he isn't happy? So who cares, tell him to get to work and quit whining. Reminds me of the difference between puppie dogs and men; eventually the puppie quits whining.
2007-08-24 04:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the Air Force and we are stationed in Okinawa, Japan. My husband went to his work one day and applied to get me and my daughter sent back home... he was taking steps towards separation. Three days later a miracle was placed into my hands...
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...
It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.
If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...
"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).
As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."
I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.
If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
2007-08-27 02:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg that is horrible, honey wow i don't know what to say I would be so hurt, it doesn't want u to leave why? If he doesn't love you then why does he want you around? Maybe you should leave him, sounds more like he likes you as his best friend then anything else.
2007-08-24 03:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 17 weeks means almost 4 months. Now its safe to get sex with u r husband. I think u r husband must be thinking of this just try to ask about it dont trace u r brain coz it will affect the baby.
Every thing will be all right.
2007-08-24 03:33:19 · answer #9 · answered by dipak 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
So fix it. That's what marriage is all about. Fix your relationship before the child comes.
2007-08-24 09:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋