How do you convince a Cristian that doesn't like homosexuality that it is ok?

Question

Ok I come from a family that is a religion that beleives that homosexuality is wrong but I am bisexual. How do I convince them that its ok to be gay ?????

I'm 15 years old

I have not came out to them yet

Its not a phase I hav liked girls sinse 3rd grade .

Answer 1

Is there a really good reason that they need to know about your sexual preferences?

I'd begin very slowly and get the mantra "hate the sin, love the person" running through their heads. This gives them the freedom to dislike the sin, but still accept and love the person. Give that several years to soak in and hopefully practice is on other people. Once they seem to have gotten that lesson down, then you might consider telling them.

Oh, several other answers had the phrase "It's not a choice"... This is another good lesson (again for several years, soaking the idea in) to start spreading around. Mention that you went of it in school, or heard it in a conversation, pose it as a question to them... do this subtly and once in a while over time.


The points I'm trying to make are 1 your family needs time to get used to the idea (espcially if they are extremely apposed to it now) and 2. there is no need to rush telling them, yet.

For example, I'm an atheist but my parents are very much Christians and quite old. I know that telling them will hurt them immensely and will not help anything. My choice, swallow my pride and (un)beliefs when I'm with them and let them live and die without the additional pain.

Answer 2

I'm not sure you do. This is America, and we all have the right to an opinion including you. The key is just to respect the rights of others, and demand that they respecr yours. Fortunately, for Christians, this has a familiar ring to it as it exemplifies a verse from the BIble, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Don't take it any further than this. The more educated people become, and if you are a decent person, then the respect will come in time. You certainly cannot be expected to fight hundreds (.thousands?) of years of discrimination, especially at 15 when you are still examining your own orientation.. Neither you nor your famuly can absolutely declare that bi/homosexuality is wrong or right for everyone, but you can decide that is ok and right for you and accept the fact that you are different from most people.

As a very "out" lesbian, it's pretty clear that I think it's okay, and I operate on a daily basis that it IS okay and just expect people to accept me as I am. In return, I do the same.

Generally this has worked for me. If confronted about my sexuality, it is pretty simple to say, "I'm not going to try to change your mind, but I'll bet some day that you will." This tends to give people food for thought (which is what most people need anyway). Remember also not to "feed the animals." Sort of like not giving bullies the time of day. Just walk away and let them know you are not interested in discussing something that you did not choose and cannot change.

To get more info on the bi/homosexual issue, just use the "search questions" option her on YA and enter words such as "gay" "Christian" "bisexual" "Bible" etc. There are many discussions on this site about this subject.

I wish you well. Keep coming back here for support any time!

Kabum

Answer 3

People who are straight and Christian are unlikely to accept your bisexuality unless they are already liberal minded...what I mean is no arguments seem to change the fixed ideas of anti-gay Christians even after many years, they will always wrongly think they are superior to a gay person. What can you do? not much other than find some friends who like you for what and who you really are, you may have to wait till you move away from home, but there are plenty of people like you out there.

At your age your family won't approve of any kind of sexuality probably, gay or straight and I guess you understand that. I'd say keep it quiet a bit longer and try to find out as much as you can, you don't sound confused or unable to cope so that's really good.

Answer 4

Okay, if your family is truly Christian, then nothing you say can change their mind. The scriptures are clear about sin and homosexuality is listed in several places as a sin. I would suggest that you help them to love the sinner and only hate the sin. If they truly love the scriptures you will never change their mind.
Your only 15, and I would suggest that you spend some ernest time in thought and prayer to see if this is just a fad, or phase to be "in" "special" or "extreme" and make sure this is the road you want to travel down. All sin starts in our mind, when we allow it to grow there, we then act out on it. You have the power and control to decide what road you travel. Don't think you don't have the power, you always do! Hope all goes well for you and your family!

Answer 5

Convincing people by argument is an almost impossible task. I have never seen someone change their mind about anything because another person argued them into a change of heart or mind.
At 15 you will be better off just not bringing the subject up and concentrate on your school work, get into a good college or vocational school. Prepare for your life's work and live your life on your terms. When you are of legal age and on your own your parents will either accept you in their life or they will choose to be apart. At that point it will be up to them. They will just have to deal with it.

For your own study you might check out Mel White's website
http://www.soulforce.org/

Answer 6

Well you don't have to be gay to be bisexual, but likely you already know that, for you speak as one that possess awareness of self.

Attempting to retrain Christians remains most often a difficult task, due manner of morality-based hypothesis fostered by inclusive dogma.

Concisely, you would more likely need to allure the opponent, and be convincing. But because this happens to be your family mentioned, I would not dare suggest that precise approach. About all you can do is be yourself. Either they accept and love you as they should, else it remains their loss.

Answer 7

First, Don't listen to the people here who say you shouldn't talk to your family. Only you know your family and only you know if they will respond well. Give them a chance at least. Now the hard part, what to say if you do choose to talk to them....
If they are Christian than you need a Christian answer for them. Here is an honest one, bare with me...
It is clear that the bible says that homosexuality is a sin. So you cant simply say its ok to be gay to them. But you can say you, as a gay or bi person are no worse than anyone else. Many people dont know what "sin" means. They think it equals bad. In truth, a sin is doing something against God's law or living in a way he did not intend for us. It is impossible to be sin free. Straight people sin, gay people sin, everyone sins. And no sin is worse than any other sin. the bible says if you break God's law, you are a law breaker. No matter what you did to break it. Being jelous and lazy are sins which are talked about much more often than homosexuality.
So if we all sin and it is imposiible not to sin than why is there sin? Easy. God's law is how he entended us to be, not how he expects us to be(you can thank the devil for us not being how he intended). The concept of sin is to show us that no one "deserves" to be with him in Heaven. We all need forgivness which Jesus provided on the cross. So sin shows us that we need Jesus's sacrifice.
No one is perfect, everyone sins, no sin is any worse than any other sin. All sin and people are forgiven by accepting Juses. Gay people are no different and the bible is very clear about that.
Gay people are welcome in my church.

Answer 8

You usually can't get anyone to change their mind easily, once notions are up there, they don't change except over a long period of time. If you know it will cause a lot of hardship in your family, then just keep it secret until you are out on your own, and can support yourself. Then if your family objects, the impact will be less. Good luck.

Answer 9

Well, you could point out that nowhere in the Bible is homosexuality, or homosexual people *per se* condemned...and that God has no objection to either. Some christians believe otherwise, because they've only read deliberately-mistranslated verses.

But I doubt they'll believe you, even if you quote the scriptural references.

Answer 10

It's really hard to sway people on their views of homosexuality. I'm for it, and nobody's changing my view. The only people that can really understand you are other gay people, since straight people just don't understand. The main points you have to make to them is that it doesn't change who you are. Being gay doesn't mean you're going to live a promiscuous life and get AIDS. Also state that it wasn't a choice... and you can back that up by saying "Why would I choose the hard life?" >> Don't listen to Truth Teller. You can know your sexual orientation without having sex.