Am I wrong or is my husband overreacting?

Question

Last Friday my husband asked me to pick up his check for him at his work. I went to his work to get it and some of his co-workers were there(my hubby's a landscaper), they asked me to hang out for a little bit with them. I thought no big deal. My husband and I hang out with them all the time outside of work. Well occasionally his friends will make comments about me being hot and I guess bust him about it. My husband claims they flirt with me all the time but I thing they are just being nice. Anyways I was there for about 45 minutes when my husband came and started flipping out because I was up there. He peeled out in his truck after cussing me out. He says he doesn't want me up there so all his friends can stare at me and drool. I think they are harmless. We were just chatting and his boss was even there with us. He says he trusts me he just doesn't trust them. I am wrong? Is he just being a jealous husband?

Answer 1

Yes he is being a jealous husband. he trusts you, but not them.....OK, so what exactly can happen if you don't let it? And what on earth were you going to do with them that day with everyone around, including the boss? He totally overreacted. So your attractive, so what, are you supposed to put a paper bag on your head and wear a potato sack so nobody but him gets to see you or what? He should be proud to show off his gorgeous wife and flaunt the fact that you are his, not try to make you feel guilty and be suspicious of you all the time.

Answer 2

When you look that good and people voice their opinion on it, I can see where it could make it hard for him to take. I know to you it is overreacting, but you know you will not do anything. It is just hard when you are on the other side of things. Just step back and relook at the situation from his point. If he was doing it with a bunch of ladies, you may not trust, with the same senerio, how would you feel. You might find you need to give him a break. As for him, he does need to know you were just talking with them and were not in any situation to have anything go further than talking. He is probably upset because you are good looking and he usually has you right next to him when you are around them and control their drooling at you. When you are their by yourself, he did not have any control over the situation. From both sides, each of you could be able to see it through the others eyes and maybe it would not seem so bad. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

He's being a jealous husband.

Which is not O.K.. Period, like the one at the end of this sentence. Jealousy is the problem of the person who is Jealous, not the person who is causing it. Woman's lib did a fine job of letting you leave the kitchen, and you visiting some people while grabbing a check is not stretching it much.

Your husband is afraid. He's afraid of losing you because he doesn't have the self confidence to think he can keep you if you wanted to go. That sort of jealousy is caused by someone who thinks the only thing that stops you from running away with some hunk is a marrige contract.

Does he think his friends are going to kidnap and rape you? Yes? Otherwise, what could he possibly mean by that old, "He trusts you just not them" line? Of course he doesn't trust you, but who he really doesn't trust is himself.

Jealousy stems from self doubt, self anger, and self hatred. It's all about the self. Your husbands response was so excessive that I'm almost scared.

You could try and talk to him about it, but I'm concerned about his response. I doubt it'll be positive--after all, *you're* the one causing it.

Bottom line. You aren't wrong. He is being jealous, and jealous is not ok.

Answer 4

You've both got blame in this one.
If you knew that he didn't like you alone around the crew, then you should have respected that and not been there hanging out with them. Just curious: were you wearing anything that could have given the guys something to look at? i.e. shorts, short skirt, low top, etc. If so, then you probably like the attention guys give you, and want that, even though you know it will upset him.

After saying that, he definitely over-reacted. He could have just given you the evil eye, or just taken you aside and to talk about. This is a matter that should have been discussed with cool heads at a later time, rather than him storming off. Now he looks like a jealous fool to his buddies, too. But that is his fault, not yours.

Answer 5

First of all you should have been there to do what you were suppose to do,pick up his check. HE IS NOT OVERREACTING. YOU on the other hand must really get a kick out of being around the guys, showing your fass behind. Dont get mad or snap at your husband because he doesnt show you as much attention as he should in the first place. Just b/c its ok to be around them with your hubby doesnt mean its ok without him. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if he spent a day out with a group of your girlfriends.

Answer 6

I think you are both wrong. He is upset that HIS friends disrespect him and your marriage by looking at you and making comments about your body to him. He is also upset that you are feeding into this. You are enjoying their attention, and dont see it as a problem, but it obviously is. So you ignoring your husband and acting like his concerns are unfounded, have hurt this situation. Him blaming you instead of grabbing his balls and addressing his friends, has also hurt this situation.

No man wants his friends drooling over his wife! He knows men are going to look, he knows they're thinking about you sexually, but he doesnt want to hear it, also he is probably trying to protect you... You think its harmless, but those are his friends. If he is telling you something is not right about it, shouldnt you trust him, or at least listen to him and find out WHY he is so concerned?

Lets be honest for a moment... the attention sometimes is nice... to know that you've STILL got it. This jerk almost crashed his car watching me walk the otherday and I could only laugh at him. I told my hubby about it and he teased me... but had it been one of his FRIENDS, he wouldn'e be so amused. My hubby has said the same to me, I trust you but I dont trust them. I can understand that, cause there are plenty women at his job I dont trust dont like and would love to slap the hell outta them, but I trust him. My thing is, if you dont trust your friends, DONT HAVE THEM AROUND YOUR WIFE.

If you sit down and talk to him about this and tell him you really thought it was harmless, but you dont want to upset him either, and try to talk out how each of you can contribute positively to this, it would help. You have to talk to him though, and see how you two can come to a compromise. Where there's a will there's a way. :)

Answer 7

You have to step into his shoes for a minute, if it were the other way around and your coworkers flirt with him all the time and you drove up one day to find him surrounded by a bunch of woman who like him wouldn't you be kinda mad,,,,I think he had a right to be upset, because he thought you were giving them the wrong impression, i mean, i know you were'nt doing anything wrong and didn't think anything of it, but these men probably did this to make your hubby mad , and they won, it worked, i think it would be best to tell him your very sorry you didn't know it would upset him that much and you will not let it happen again, i know how he feels and it sucks.....

Answer 8

He is waaaay over-reacting. Find out why he is so insecure. You don't know, but maybe one of the co-workers has a reputation as a player and it makes your hubby more insecure. Regardless, flippin out and peeling out of the parking lot is pretty immature on his part! LOL My hubby tells me that I flirt too, and I swear I'm just being nice, and then he says that some men take even just a friendly smile and attitude as flirting, but you are probably behaving very properly, he is the one with the problems.

Answer 9

He is being jealous but if he gets alot of sleazy comments of them at work he probably feels quite threatened they could be saying your wife would love me in the sack blah blah . I can understand why he's upset but also if it bothers him that much he shouldn't have asked you to go. Also can you honesyly say you don't enjoy their commenys everybody enjoys being appreciated you husband will know this but you weren't doing anything what i'm trying to say is neither of you were in the wrong he needs to think how he will react if he sends you up there again without him there to keep an eye on his colleagues and now you know how he feels you could maybe think how you would feel if he stayed talking to a group of women you knew fancied him and had spoke of bedding him

Answer 10

He gave you the "impression" that you were all friends when he started having you two hang out with them together. So what would be the harm in hanging out? Nothing. He has some security issues going on that he needs to deal with. It's pretty sad when a husband says "I trust you, it's them I don't trust", because he's only implying that you can't handle things on your own. He needs to relax. Talk to him about counseling.