Is there something powerful enough to manage a married couple while love is on a long for vacation?

Question

Ideologically, love will never last every moment of life, and there will be a time that love will go for a long vacation and there is no specific time for it returns. So, when love is not present, what is one thing that is strong enough to manage the relationship between the couple until love returns? What I could think of is a baby, shared possessions or financial saving and Psychotherapy. What is your best suggestion base on your experience and knowledge? Or what is one thing that you could suggest which is strong and powerful enough to keep a married couple together until the day when love return from its long vacation?

Answer 1

A downward spiral just keeps on going till it hits bottom.

Time is a factor. Eventually one will die and the other can celebrate. Heck of a way to live, though.

P.S. Love is eternal just like life is eternal. Ideologically (fancy word) you are out to lunch. Love is not on vacation though it can seem that way when the resistance level is high.

Why not just start enjoying? All is well. Cheers!

Answer 2

Love as repeated so many times is easier said than done. It is good to have a strong foundation from the start. I agree with the gentleman at the bottom who says to find someone you like. Loving someone and liking someone is actually to totally different things. You may love your family members but not like the decisions they make which causes conflict between the two. If you are in a relationship and you feel the love has taken a vacation, you would definitely want to do inventory on the relationship and your life together. One thing also that can be done is marital counseling. Some times you need to talk to someone who can look at the relationship from the outside to see what is going on.

Answer 3

I don't think that love leaves. I think it evolves and changes over time. The passionate romantic love you have when dating may give way to more of a friendship type of love. But love is a verb. It is something you do. It takes work. Make the effort to keep the love alive. Do things to cherish each other. Be thoughtful. Give compliments. Gifts for no occasion. Make a date. Try something new & exciting together. You can rekindle the flame. People who have a child thinking it will save the marriage have a rude awakening. You start focusing on the child & lose each other even more. Besides if you're only staying together for the sake of the children then that's no good. I don't think that material possessions are enough to keep people together (although I suppose if they both love the house & neither wants to leave...) But that's more a marriage of convenience, like a business partnership, rather than one based on love.

The sad thing is that many people get married too young or too hastily or to the wrong person. Or sometimes people can be very much in love in the beginning but then they grow and change & end up moving in different directions. They find that their personalities and life goals are incompatible. They find that they want and need different things and are no longer happy together.

I think couples owe it to themselves and each other to make every effort to make it work. You made a commitment so you shouldn't just give up without a fight. But if you've tried everything and nothing works, if you are both unhappy and it feels wrong, if you have fallen out of love and there is no hope of getting it back I think it's better to go your separate ways and start a new life with someone more suited to you. Many people stay in bad relationships out of habit, fear of being alone, for the kids' sake etc. You can't be happy this way. You both lose too much and end up resenting each other.

I honestly don't think love just comes back on its own. You have to make it work & if you find it still doesn't work after all your efforts then sometimes you just have to cut your losses. Sometimes you have to love each other enough to recognize you may be better apart...

Answer 4

I'm not completely sure what you're asking, but I'll try an answer any way.

Marry someone you like, not just love. The giddiness of new romance will wear off soon. The sex life will fade. Find someone you like to marry, and you have a chance.

And don't depend on having a baby to make a relationship work. Look at all the teen mothers who think that they can trap a guy into marriage by getting pregnant, and consider how well that works for them. Either the guy dumps her, or they get married and fight like cats and dogs.

Answer 5

Having activities and interests in addition to the primary relationship is important. This means each person continues to change and grow, and also that no one is moping around waiting for things miraculously to get better.

I agree that having a baby to help an unsatisfactory romance is not a good idea. Most important, it's not fair the the child. Also, I know lots of divorced people who tried that. It didn't work.

Answer 6

WOW. For me the first thing is God, running a very close second is friendship. You have to like a person to want to maintain a relationship with them, especially when you are not "in love" with them.

Answer 7

The love may not be the newlywed kinda, over-passionate, i-wanna-make-love-to-you-every-day sorta love, but it may still be there. Assuming that when the couple got married, they were in love. True love is forever lol

Answer 8

A sense of duty and commitment. Love is fleeting. It may not last you a lifetime or get transferred to another object but if you are a person of integrity you can carry on regardless....

Answer 9

commitment, faith, and God alone can hold together a marriage without love.