I am being terrorized by a senior co-worker and screamed at daily, what should I do?

Question

I am a highly qualified, very attractive recent M.B.A. who is working for a major financial services firm. My job is very well paying, and if I continue with this firm, should be extremely rewarding.

My problem is I sit in an open bullpen cubicle format, and one of my senior co-workers screams at me at least hourly for the absolute most minor things. She probably weighs between 250 and 275 pounds, and I feel she is trying to force me to quit because I get attention from the men at work and she see me as a threat.

She is very valuable to the company, and I have made my supervisor aware that this is unacceptable behavior. Everyone within earshot knows what is going on, but no one will say anything because she is very valuable to the company.

What should I do, I am not going to quit, however, I am not willing to let this disgusting woman continue to abuse me. Thanks.

Answer 1

Warn your supervisor that your coworkers behavior falls within the realm of harrassment as it "creates a hostile work environment" and as such, you have full rights to file a claim against her. If your supervisor does nothing, he/she too can end up in trouble for their inaction.
Then talk to your Equal Opportunity Advisor about the problem. There are formal and informal steps that can be taken and they will be able to advise you on what you can do.

Answer 2

No abusive employee is valuable to the company, once they figure the real damages; huge loss in productivity, loss of good employees they've invested in, lousy work atmosphere for what should be an upbeat occupation, and LAWSUITS. The title is senior co-worker, not prez.
Put your complaint about the screaming, the number of occurrences daily, the fact that you feel threatened, names of witnesses, and give your boss fair notice that if something is not done, you will have to go a step higher.
Send a certified letter to the next person in line, if you have to, threatening to sue (let their lawyers figure out what the grounds will be, for now). If that still does no good, sue.
and remember this---in your occupation, there's so much money, they try to make you think you have to put up with whatever trash happens, just so you can be in on it. The secret is that you will always have people looking for you in financial services, and your company has already invested a substantial amount of money in you, as an employee. YOU are valuable to them, and they do not want to see you go elsewhere.
BTW--What would happen if you just matched her tone every time she screamed at you? How many more times would she do it?

Answer 3

You might want to start keeping a record of the times, dates and what she starts on you about. Does, or has, she done this same thing to other employees?

Your right though, Over weight folks in a position of power do have issues when it comes to someone else getting attention. Especially if there's the possibility of them being over looked for promotion.

This is a form of harassment. After you have sufficient material you could approach your supervisor and tell him/her you going to file a harassment charge against this employee.

Harassment comes in many forms. If she's as valuable to the company as you think she is they'll talk to her once you've made it plain what your intentions are.

Your best approach now though is just smile and thank her for pointing out your error, even if there was none. Remember, your building a case against her. You don't want to give her any grounds to deny that her actions towards you were not abusive.

Also, once a harassment charge has been filed the investigation will bring the other employees into picture.

Answer 4

I usually answer the questions according to what the law states, but in this case, unless you want to end up being fired (and unless you have a contract, nearly all States are "at-will" employment and they can terminate you without even giving a a reason) is invite her to lunch, drinks after work or dinner, at your expense, to try to resolve the matter so you can co-habitate peacefully as part of the team as you admire her success in the company and tell her you feel intimidated by it whether you believe that or not.

As this woman is a strong performer, you want her as your ally, not your enemy. People who are high performers and highly stressed to not even realize they are yelling or inappropritate with co-workers when asked a simple question.

Don't use your sexuality or looks as a tool in the office, in the end, no one will respect you and no one will support you.

In the end, all the company is going to care about is the bottom line who is worth the money they pay and who isn't. If you go the "legal" route and start filing all sorts of complaints with management, YOU, not her, will be seen as not being a team player, as as SHE, not YOU, have the track record of success with the company, who do you think they are going to chose if it comes head-to-head?

Dress and wear your makeup so you will look presentable and professional but not provacatively so that people in your office notice your BRAINS before anything else and leave looking like a hottie to attract guys for the weekend.

Answer 5

Well, she probably has very low self esteem and thinks of you as a threat. She probably knows that she is vital to the company and that is the only thing that makes her feel good in her life right now. Maybe she feels like you are looking to replace her and if she looses her place in this company, what is left? She is probably one of those people that work is one of the most important things in her life. I dont have any other solution for you other than filing a formal complaint with the "big-wigs" of the company. Obviously if you cant get results with the people you are complaining to , you should reach higher. No one should be verbally abused or harrassed in the workplace. THere are laws to protect you. But make sure you have voiced to this woman how you do not like how she yells at you and abuses you. You have enough people to back you up in ev event that she denies you ever comfronted her. Good luck!

Answer 6

I'd love to hear the other person's side of the story.

I have reservations when someone describes themselves as, "very attractive" .....

You say you are being "terrorized" yet no-one else at your workplace seems to be supporting you. You say no-one will say anything because this terrorist is very valuable to the company.

For you to form the opinion that this other woman (described as being between 250 & 275 pounds) is jealous of you because you get attention from the men - demonstates that you have an inflated opinion of yourself.

Maybe if you concentrated on your work & not worried about the attention of male co-workers you wouldn't get such attention from this terrorist fiend!

Answer 7

can she fire you?....hopefully not....there are a couple of approaches you could take here....first you could speak to her directly and let her know that you do not deserve her verbal abuse nor will you tolerate it and then ignore her when she speaks to you that way...do not respond even if she is asking a direct question (of course do your work so that you are not being insubordinate - which is grounds for firing)...also let your supervisor know that if the behavior continues you will be seeking legal council on the matter.....that SHOULD rectify your problem....if this fails to work for you go out and buy a couple dozen donuts and everytime she starts yelling at you just throw one at her and if she asks what you are doing just look at her and yell "DOWN GIRL!"....if THAT doesnt work then put ipecac in her drink...(that should keep her at bay for a while and maybe even help "expel the demons" lol....i know you really cant do the last couple of things but its still something to hold on to in case the first doesnt work for you...good luck

Answer 8

If your supervisor has done nothing it is time to let them know this can not continue and if they are unwilling to do anything you will have to go over their head. Do warn them that you are prepared to do this, afterall you've got a room full of witnesses to her abuse.
Next time she starts up I would tell her very firmly, "Until you can get yourself under control and talk to me in a respectable manner you are wasting my time, your time and your breath. I don't know what your problem is but I will not be treated way, I have some dignity and self respect." Then walk away. Say it loud enough for others to hear, maybe she will be embarrassed into better behaviour.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Your company probably has a work place code of conduct. In working for a state agency, we have such a policy. Your best bet would be to take it up with your supervisor and hers. If it is not resolved there, you go to HR dept. You can take it to the top, but in the private sector, that is not advisable. It would not constitute a hostile work environment unless the conduct is related to one of the proctect status (race, gender, religion and age are the common ones). I have had to tell off people before that interfer with my work. Look her in the eye and tell her that she is out of line and needs to pay attention to her own work. Stand your ground but don't yell or use offensive language.

Answer 10

I would tape record her ranting to play to her supervisor. Of course it can't be used in court if it ever goes that far, but at least you will have prove that she is a nut job.

You can also talk to a lawyer about hostile work environment. There is no reason that you should have to put up with that abuse, and that's exactly what it is.

Good luck to you.