Do gay men mourn the loss of the children they will miss raising in being homosexual?

Question

I know gay men can adopt, get lesbians pregnant, donate sperm to surrogates and play the role of *uncle* and have the occasional visit to their kids, but on the whole, do many of us gay guys really give up the idea of kids for the sake of thinking that because we're gay we wouldn't make good fathers?

Do you care you'll most likely never have children?

Answer 1

You know, the whole idea of surrogacy is that the birth mother plays no further part in the child's life after she has given birth to it. So therefore, it is possible to be 100% involved in a child that you influenced the genetic characteristics of. Also, lots of heterosexual people adopt, and while you may not be the natural parent to the adopted child, it doesn't mean you can't and don't love them and raise them as your own. So in essence, no, I don't mourn the children I'll never have, because I will one day have them.

Answer 2

I think the gay world is past that old stereotyping. If they want a child, they make it happen. I think that they know, no matter what other people believe, that they are just as capable of being great parents. I know men who have used a surrogate to have a baby and now the two father raise the child, without the help of any woman. Sadly, I believe some gay men still don't see children in their future because of there sexual preference. I think they just need educated and to be around people who inspire them to follow their dream of parenthood. I also know gay men who are happy to just be the uncle, babysitter, or sperm donor. They don't want to have children, just as some singles have decided. So anyways, if you care or worry about it, go make babies. If you choose to not be a parent, then okay. Don't settle for less in life just because your gay.

Answer 3

What does being gay have to do with thinking we wouldn't make good fathers?

When I was in the amateur sports business, it broke my heart to have "my" kids go home with their "real" parents after every game. But I comforted myself with the knowledge that I was only seeing them when they were healthy and well-fed and active. I never had to deal with the real-life disasters and turmoil and heartache of actually raising kids full time.

It also broke my heart to have married, heterosexual neighbors who beat their kids often, for no particular reason, mostly out of frustration for having had kids in the first place, I think.

The only real pang I feel is that I'm the last to carry the family name, at least this branch of the family. Other than my dad, all the men had girls only, only the women had boys. My folks had 5 other children, all boys, and all miscarried, so I'm it. And I just don't have the desire to have intercourse. So there it is.

But it has nothing to do with thinking I wouldn't make as good a father as any other guy. Why would you think that?

Answer 4

Dude! Being gay doesn't mean you won't be a good father. I'm gay with two teenagers and I consider myself a very good father. My kids know I'm gay and they don't seem to have a problem with it at all. Don't let the fact that you are gay make you any less of a person than the next guy. I know I'm one of the lucky few gay men who have kids, but I never let myself think that because I'm gay I wouldn't be a good father. Have faith in yourself.

Answer 5

It is something thought about by many, but to some, it is sad, to others, it is not really a problem or issue. There are those who believe that homosexuals have a role and responsibility to rear the children of this world (such as orphans) that are in need or are in need of a guardian or parent, that homosexuals are to be just as responsibly living as anyone else should be. In this way, they would do so. In this case, to help bring up the children to prepare them for society. Something like this.

Answer 6

My best friend recently expressed their desire to one day be a father/daddy. Yet at the same time they also were depressed because they felt that they wouldn't be able to truly give to a child the best of a nuclear family upbringing. No, they weren't saying that being homosexuality had anything to do with raising a child/children. It was the fact that they expressed that mommy might not feel very comfortable living at home with daddy and "uncle Bob" at the same time.

Answer 7

I think I would make a wonderful parent, I have the means to provide them with a stable environment, But the laws would rather see a crack whore keep a baby rather then a gay man. They have this weird idea your going to raise tem to be gay! Wrong! There going to be what they are. If I had a child I would prefer that they grow up straigh in such and ingnorate world!

Answer 8

I want children, or at least a son. I am the last in my family line. When I die, so does the line. It's sad. I try not to think about it. But when I see a baby, my heart goes a little pitter patter. My partner is pasted wanted kids. He thinks that he's too old. Which is fine.
I do have 3 dogs that are my children. I love them and totally spoil them. I think it's a good substitute for the real thing. At least they will never talk back to me.

Answer 9

I used to feel like I would miss out in life. But now I see I will have more money and stuff.

I have a hard time looking after myself and genuinely think I would have trouble managing if I had to look after kids!!

At least you can do what you want. It's funny in a way that we have escaped a biological trap! Make you wanna have sex so you end up reproducing.

I am in a stable relationship id consider adopting but only ONE. but i think id prefer a dog. i know that sounds terrible but i just dont want the hassle or the expense. gosh i sound evil

Answer 10

Being raised with the stereotypical values, before I even knew what my sexuality was, I figured I was going to have a wife and kids (ha). When I became sure I was gay, I obviously realized that will never happen. I think I could be an awesome father one day, since I know I would support my kids no matter what they want to do with their lives, something that most fathers today lack (in my opinion). It will probably never happen, but I know I'm going to live a happy life doing what I want.