my husband and i have been married nearly 4yrs and have 4 children. It didn't present itself in the beggining but my MIL is very dependant on my husband(eldest son) My family isn't perfect but they mind their own business and dont bring problems into my marriage. My in laws are what u would call dissfunctional. Great people individually but as a fam there is always an arguement and a problem. 95% of these problems are instituted by my MIL, though she cant see it. Anyway, when i was first married she lived 15 minutes away from husband and i, and i didn't think anything of it. When i was pregnant with baby no 2 we moved 45mins out of the city. About a year later she moved 20mins from us, which process forced my husband and i to separate for a while. Now we have moved interstate my husband tells me that "mum will be moving here in about 6 months. She is a bloody infestation. She cant fill out a rental form so my husband has to, and my husband has to look for a house for her to live in, b
2007-08-23 22:38:07 · 10 answers · asked by MGS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to poison her. It's the only way.
2007-08-23 22:46:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't know if you read the Bible, but, it says, "he shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife", this is the same for a woman and her parents as well... your husband needs to set ground rules... you can't keep the mother in law from moving near you, but, you can't keep moving away, either, especially having kids, unless of course, it's for job reasons... good ground rules would be... pick one day out of the month if she needs help doing things... not once a week... don't answer the phone if she calls every day... talk to her once a week or maybe twice... eventually she will get the hint. Make sure hubby does not drop everything to go and help her each times she calls, and yourself too. Does he have other siblings she can call or ask for help from? Does she drive? limit visits to once a week, and let her know to call first before stopping over because you and hubby may be having private time! tell her you have plans if she insists on dropping over anyway...and don't answer the door...even if the plans are just a family game night, you and hubby and the kids only =). just some ideas...
2007-08-24 00:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can draw your borders and be distant to your MIL. But the main responsibility belongs to your husband as her son. He is the one who will try to explain to her mother that she must not interfere with his marriage and her moving is unnecessary every time you both move to somewhere. So you should talk to him. If he is disturbed from her behaviours then he must tell her. And you should not let him to put you between your MIL and him.
Maybe she will be angry with you for awhile but sooner or later she will realize how much damage she causes to your marriage. Its understandable that your husband may not want to talk her alone but he is her son not you.
2007-08-23 23:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is his mother, and there is not much you can do other than to ask him not to get involved in the family problems. Tell him that you would prefer to avoid her, in order to keep from causing problems in your marriage. He is the one that will have to set the ground rules down to your MIL.
2007-08-23 23:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she need you guys, meaning older and can't manage?
Count your lucky stars she isn't moving in with you.
Try to grin and bear it.....and think about the positive.
Also don't involve her more then you need to.
(keeping relations at a distance is more then just miles)
You can make this work and be the better person...just don't fall into her trap.
and ......maybe your hubby can transfer even further in the future....however sounds like she'll follow.
breath.....and be more concerned about you and your family....don't let her intrude on the personal level.
best wishes
2007-08-23 22:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to fix the husband problem. Best thing that ever happenned to this marriage was her mom died. Next thing will be divorce because her mom lives on in her!
2007-08-23 22:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by duanehofner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL I FEEL FOR YOU THAT LADY IS NOT GOING ANY WHERE WHERE YOU GO SHES ALWAYS GOING TO SHOW UP WHAT I WOULD DO IS HAVE A SIT DOWN WITH HER EXPLAIN TO HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS PROBLEM AND WHAT YOU WANT HER TO DO ABOUT IT AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEN THE NEXT STEP IS TO HAVE A SIT DOWN WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND HER AND TRY AND EXPLAIN TO THE BOTH OF THEM THE PROBLEM AND WHAT IS IT THAT IS BROTHERING YOU ABOUT THIS SITUATION AND TAKE IT FROM THERE AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS YOU MAY NEED ANSWERED AND I TRULY WOULD HOPE YOU HUSBAND SIDES WITH YOU AND IF HE DOESN'T LORD HAVE MERCY ON HIM SMILE
PEACE SEXY
2007-08-23 22:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by lilgirlfatman10467 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her tickets to visit another family member for an extended time.
Ask her to babysit for your kids constantly.
2007-08-24 01:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suffer a few days, meanwhile take up freelancing
2007-08-23 22:45:22 · answer #9 · answered by swati_chhavi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holiday huby wati?
2007-08-23 22:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋