what do you do with a manipulative husband. he works on the road. i have heard from his friends that he is not faithful but the main problem is that he has told his family and his new found friends how miserable his life is cuz all he does is works for his family. and all his wife does is sits on her you know wat. i take 12 hrs of school have a 4 yr old and a 13 yr old. i cant take him anymore and i dont know wat to do. he has threated that if i leave him he will take the kids and blah blah blah. i just want to know how to beat a manipulator at his own pathetic game.. Any Ideas?
2007-08-23 19:32:20 · 10 answers · asked by jalaney_delaney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is all talk, so you be all action. See a lawyer and get your ducks in a row. Tell the lawyer the part about him wanting the kids when you are the primary caregiver. Also, let him know you are dependent on him for support and nail him for alimony as well as child support. That ought to do it.
2007-08-23 19:36:58 · answer #1 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband can only be a manipulator if you allow yourself to be manipulated. Don't play into his games. It takes two people to play if you don't play than he has no hold over you. You also said that you have heard from his friends that he is unfaithful but this is not the main problem. If it is not the main problem I sure hope that it is at least Number 2 on your list. You are letting this man walk all over you. And only you can stop it. It is a very good thing that you are going to school. Hopefully going to school and achieving personal goals will boost your self esteem. I would seriously consider talking to a lawyer about a divorce. You are in a loveless marriage, he is knocking your self esteem down further and further with his cheating and manipulation. Just because he hasn't hit you doesn't mean that he is not abusing you mentally and emotionally. So for the sake of yourself and your children (because they also see what is going on and you wouldn't want them to turn out like him) leave him. It won't be easy I know but you can do it. Good luck to you.
2007-08-24 02:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is committing adultery on the road, move out find a good family lawyer and file for divorce and custody of the children. He works on the road so how is he supposed to care for the children? NOT. Most judges award physical custody to mothers anyway. Get him for child support and if you have been married long enough, get alimony and half his retirement, the family vehicle and the house too. That out to do him pretty good.
Wouldn't you say?
2007-08-24 02:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the judge would never give custody to someone who is never home ,so when he leaves to go on the road,pack up and move out. dont tell anyone where you live until youget the divorce filed and have to go to court. try to get a part time job and show that that you can do it wthout him.see if you can cut down your hours at school to half and use the other time for a job. your 13 year old is old enough to help with the younger one and you could pay them a little a week for the help. your husband will have to show his income and support will be determined on it.
2007-08-24 10:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all there are no courts in any state that will give him custody. He is on the road and not home for the kids period.
Second, if you only had proof of the adultery that would be the clincher, but not a deal killer.
Check out my website:
http://www.UtahParentsUnderSiege.com/
I have lots of good info on protecting yourself in a divorce. Do not tip your hand so to speak and get a couple of things in place and ready before you let it be known.
Good Luck.
2007-08-24 02:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by eric_the_red_101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, call your divorce attorney while he's out on the road, get your divorce and file for full custody since he is never there. Hire you a PI because I bet he has another family. Maybe you'll even get some alimony along with the child support. Good luck with your classes!!!
2007-08-24 02:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly Sue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce and seek custody of the children. He's on the road. In the eyes of the court, that is instability sweetie....he doesn't stand a chance of getting those children. On top of that, you've been their main care provider. Courts won't take that away from them. And when he gets his papers and calls to make his threats, tell him to tell it to the judge, you've heard enough of his crap.
Then find yourself someone who treats you with respect. You'll be happier, the kids will be happier and it'll kill him that he lost a good thing.
2007-08-24 02:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU KNOW WHAT GRIL DO'NT EVEN FRET IT YOU JUST HANG IN THERE FINISH SCHOOL AND WHEN HE COMES BACK FROM ONE OF HIS TRIPS LEAVE THE HOUSE EMPTY.. AND MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT HAVE YOUR 13 Y OLD BABYSIT HAVE SOME YOU TIME GET SOME OF YOUR OWN FRIENDS IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..... I KNOW ITS HARD BUT YOU GOTTA TURN THE GAME AROUND ON HIM HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T RESPOND WITH EMOTION TO HIS BS OR COMMENTS NO MATTER HOW INSULTING THEY CAN BE . HE WILL KNOW ITS NOT WORKING AND GET MADDER AND BESIDES TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH HE NEEDS YOU HOW CAN HE TAKE THE KIDS WHENS HE ALLWAYS ON THE ROAD THINK ABOUT IT GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLES IT WILL GET BETTER.
2007-08-24 02:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by clairvoyant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advice I can give you is to finish school and then get a good lawyer.
~
2007-08-24 02:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by fitzovich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow through on what you SAY you're going to do.
2007-08-24 02:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋