Marrying at 18?

Question

My Boyfriend just turned 21 and wants to get married. Right now I am only 17 but will be turning 18 in a month. I love him but I don't want him to be a mistake if anything does happen between us. He has a kid and the mother is counting on us splitting so she can get back with him...

Answer 1

Seriously...His kid's mother should have NOTHING to do with you even CONSIDERING marrying this guy, otherwise, it is only to semi-keep him from getting back with her.... and even then- there is divorce if he decided to get back with her.
Secondly, I got married at 19 y/o but it's hard and takes a lot of work and maturity.
Ask yourself this....
What is the rush?
And this...
What is the point of getting married?

There should be no rush to do it now. If you think it'll keep you two together, it won't. Getting married causes stress a lot in the beginning and you can't get through it unless you are 100% committed to making things work. You shouldn't marry someone for any reason other than because you are completely in love.

A major reason why I, personally, don't think you should get married is because you are on Yahoo! Answers right now questioning if you getting married is a good idea AND you have doubts. You should NEVER get married unless you are 100% positive that it is what YOU want and it is out of pure love.... not keeping him from his baby's mom.

PLEEEAASSEEE think realistic before doing something you could truely regret....

Answer 2

You shouldn't marry him so quickly.

First off, if you love each other...Then you both will take your time and try to make sure you're both making the right decision.

You're really young, as well as him...He also has a little baggage. Consider these things.

How long have you been dating, anyway?

Sometimes, love and infatuation can be confused. Even so, love is patient...So don't rush it.

Date for a few years. See how the situation between him and his ex goes. (Meaning, if they can get along and how they handle the issues of sharing a child)

If this guy cared for you and his kid, he'd be a little more cautious and take his time.

Marriage is serious and not always fun.

Has he even bought you an engagement ring? How is his financial situation?

Can he support himself, a kid, AND you?

Also, what are your plans for the future? Do you want to go off and become a step mother and housewife, or do you want to make sure you can stand on your two feet with an education?

Just consider these things before rushing into marriage.

Answer 3

Dear Mali,

Don't do it!! What is the rush? Why is he so eager to get married? You haven't even lived any life as an adult yet. I would give it at least a two year wait. So much can and does happen in ones life. Especially as you get older. Things tend to change and at such a fast pace. Before you know it you are now looking at your 30Th Birthday!!. I rushed into my first marriage at 18 years old. I knew it was a mistake then and I can't take back the 7 years I wasted through all his abuse and ignorance and the boredom I had with him. He was an *** and still is. I just married to get out of the house. Thought I wanted to play house. Boy was that a fatal mistake. I married to young to the wrong man and for all the wrong reasons.
Now that I am 49 years old 3 marriages behind me. I am for the first time living by myself on my own. And the first time I felt actually happy inside and out. How nice to not have to get approval everyday from your significant other. My life is better now.

Please take your time my love, don't be in such a rush to get old.

Take Good Care,

Marseille

Answer 4

If he has a kid at the age of 21 and not married to the mother, you might as well wait for a few years to see if you relationship with him will stand. Not that I'm bias against people with a past, but it doesn't hurt to be more careful.

Answer 5

N OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe me when I tell you this.... You will forever remember me if you follow my advise. DO NOT MARRY HIM. You are only 18... you are too young to have a boyfriend... I dont care how much you love him. You have so much ahead of you. You are entering your college years, and wait until you turn 21... its the begining of adult hood. Dont miss out because you are with some kid that wants to tie you down for the rest of your life. Statistically you are against the numbers.... People who marrie at your age have a 23 percent success rate... that means almost 80 percent of the poeple who marrie at your age... end up in divorce. Go out, screw lots of guys, get experience, graduate college, become independant.. then marry

Answer 6

please dont get married until you are ready. Asking this question means you are not ready. At 18, everyone has alot of growing up to do. You probably will have a whole different might set 4 years from now. Maybe you will still love your boyfriend, maybe not. 18 is too young for anyone to get married. So much to see yet. :) good luck.

Answer 7

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe in 10 years. Stay single and enjoy life. Go to college, travel, get your own place, save some money, the list goes on because your young and you have too many choices. The world is your oyster, don't screw it up. Plus, you're young enough to find someone without the baggage.

Answer 8

MISTAKE waiting to happen. Sure,someone is going to tellyou they have been married for years after marrying this young but by far they are the exception.

Answer 9

wait on marrying anyone at your age especially someone with a previous ex and a child. Sounds like that may be unfinished business.

Answer 10

Find someone who doesn't have any children. Don't marry so young. You should date some one single for a long, long time. You should ask them a lot of questions, like what their values are, what they like to do, what their plans for the future are. You also have to give yourself time to grow up and find out what your values are, what you like to do and what your plans for the future are.