Child Support?

Question

If your child's mother/father was a good parent, but couldn't afford to financially provide anything in the way of child support...would you still let them see the child, or would you tell them that if they couldn't pay...they had to stay away?

(this is a debate I was having with a couple friends of mine, and I'm undecided on what I would do...I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions and reasoning)...

Its not my personal situation.
My PERSONAL situation doesn't require me to have to worry about child support. My son's father was a threat to both of us....I agreed to never file for support and he agreed to sign over rights to my son....long story short.

The reason I'm asking this question is because of a friend. She's going through a divorce right now and her ex cannot pay...so she says he shouldn't be allowed to see his kids. Her own mother is giving her crap for that...and yeah...I don't even know what I think of her situation, which is why I'm asking for opinions.

Answer 1

It has been stated several times above that you cannot legally deny visitation for non-payment. That is correct.

My ex-husband didn't pay child support for 7 1/2 years - I had to work three jobs to pay for everything (I have four children - all with the same dad)...

He was given full visitation rights, which I never denied him. We didn't even see him for a few years - I think he was too ashamed of not helping.
Anyway, I would hate to see you in a situation where you are in trouble with the law. If you want to deny visitation you have to have a good reason - and it can't be money. Good luck with that, sweetie.

Answer 2

Legally, they are still obligated to pay, if they are an absent parent, non- or joint-custodial. They should be being a good parent regardless, just like the custodial parent. Being a 'good parent' includes making sure the child is fed, housed, clothed, has medical care and the best quality of life the parents can provide. That takes money, obviously. Could the custodial parent say, "well, I'm so nice to my child," but then not pay the rent or provide clothing?

But visitation is legally NOT allowed to be tied to child support. That means that if the parent is a fit parent, then they are guaranteed visitation by law, regardless of the status of their child support case.

It's not just up to the custodial parent whether they feel like letting the other parent see the child. The only legal reason to deny visitation is if there is abuse or neglect or drug use going on or some other major issue that would threaten the child's well being.

So, not paying child support can land a parent in jail. Denying visitation without a court order permitting it is also a serious legal offense.

Basically, let the parent see the child, if they are doing no harm. Go to court and get what the child is due in financial support so that child does not have to suffer for any of their physical needs.

Answer 3

A child should never be kept away from a parent that loves them. If a parent has proven to be unfit or abusive to a child then they should never be allowed to see the child. If you keep a child away from a parent that loves them but is having a hard time financially the only one that is being hurt is the child. When thechild is old enough to realize what happened they will only resent being kept away and not being able to know the love of both parents that they deserve. What is the most important thing to a child love and security or cash? Anyone that with holds love from a child for cash has serious problems. How do you put a price on love?

Answer 4

Providing for a child financially is one aspect of parenting. We all have temporary money problems which shouldn't hinder anyone from letting the other parent be in their childs life. If the parent is there mentally emotionally and spends time with the child and participates in events going on in their life thats to be encouraged. A kid is not going to remember every little toy or thing they had growing up but they are going to remember spending time with their parents. If the person does not pay on purpose then have the court figure out the child support issues. But when parents use kids as weapons it destroys the child in the end.

Answer 5

Being a father, I would allow the father see the child if the father is interested and has requested it from you....if you know he is a good father, then any problem you have with him, should be put aside, for the good of the child....ask him to give you $25/week or maybe alittle more....so you can buy some groceries with that for the child...that might help at least alittle.....
Don't follow the courts advice....just let it go....the father would be very happy and when the child is older, he/she would know you are trying to be nice for the father too....it doesn't pay to be mean, like so many women out there are to the fathers of the children...just because the mothers are mad at the father, doesn't mean she should take it out on the father, does it??? I think not.................
God Bless you for letting the father see the child....

Answer 6

Actually this is a really qood question. My answer? Never let the child support thing have anything to do with visitation thing. Treat these issues like oil and water and never the twain shall they meet. In court (in most states) one has nothing to do with the other. I have told my ex over and over - do not let you paying child support or not paying have anything to do with your decision to see the kids. Just visit them. The primary goal of every parent is to see healthy well developed kids. To know that the noncustodial mom or dad is good and loving helps in this development. They are two completely separate issue and mixing them is a selfish and (honesty here?) greedy act.

If Mom or Dad does not pay take him to court and demand it and greet him (or her) kindly every time you are in the presence of your children while offering him or her up for visitation. I think if every parent knows this is in the best interest of the child then they can be adults and make these two separate and individual issue.

Child support is between mom and dad. Visitation is between noncustodial Mom or Dad and their child.

And leave it there.

Answer 7

I would allow to see as in the end it is the welfare of the child that should be #1. To the child the person is father/mother no matter how poor they are.keeping parent away can cause serious mental issue for child . What will you tell the child?

Answer 8

If he is a good father than he should never be kept away from his child. I would still request for financial help but it would not be my ultimate goal. The child's emotional health is very important and I have seen too many children damaged because of the money issue. It causes the child to have a love/hate relationship with the one who is to pay child support because of that it fractures their soul in so many harmful ways.

Answer 9

First of all; states have determined that child support and visitation are two separate items.
For non payment of child support one can go to jail, have wages garnished, receive bad credit rating, and tax monies diverted to state child support agencies. (have I forgot anything?)
For denial of visitation, the states don't enforce their own court orders and the police will not get involved as it is a domestic issue and to the custodial parent nothing happens, no penalties and life goes on.
Child support is the law and even with zero income it is still owed.

Answer 10

Legally, you are not able to deprive the other parent visitation for not paying child support. Unfortunately, many people do though. The person who was denied visitation would be able to go to court and file contempt charges against the parent not allowing visitation.