Just need some help getting through a tough situation?

Question

I'm looking for some words of encouragement right now as I am feeling weak and I need some strength! Long story short - Was with b/f for 3 years, have a 3 month baby together, found out he was cheating on me with at least 2 different girls, now we're apart. He works out of town for 3 weeks out of the month but is back in town tonight. A friend of his decides to tell me my ex is seeing someone new. I don't want to hear that. I just want to know what are the chances he's going to hurt her too. Apparently he has a history of cheating on all his girlfriends but it feels like he's getting away with what he's done to me and his baby girl. I know the best revenge is to go on and be happy and believe me I want nothing more than to forget him...Am I selfish to not want him to be happy? Do things that go around really come around?

Getting support form him isn't an issue as he wants to support his baby...not only that...he doesn't just want to support her, he wants to support me and my other 2 kids from a previous marriage. I don't get how he can cheat and not be there for us and then turn around and want to take care of all of us even though we're not together.

Answer 1

Well, he probably will hurt her too..but that has nothing to do with you..so if you want nothing to do with him..then why let this bother you?

Answer 2

Well, you sure chose a great guy to donate the sperm. You need to get out of this bad relationship. Once a cheater, always a cheater is true. This will not end and you will only get more sad and miserable as the years tick by. The revenge will be when you are happy with another guy that loves you and treats you with respect. The big revenge is when you marry this guy and his little girl calls your husband "Daddy." He won't ever be happy. He'll chase around until he is about 45 and then all of a sudden realize that no 25 year olds like him anymore. It's pretty sad. You get out of there.

Answer 3

JD,

Why are you asking us questions you know the answer to?

Firstly things that go around DO come around in metaphysical terms it's called the "Law of Cause and Effect" and is one of the principle laws which determine what happens to us.

You're not really selfish to currently be unable to want to see him happy - that's just the hurt talking mate. You've got a good head on your shoulders and you'll move on.

If you can get to the stage where you actually want the best for him you will have done very well indeed.

But you do need to consider whether, out of sisterly love, the new girl needs to be warned. Maybe your 'friend' who told you could ensure she knows he has a track record. Don't you buy into it yourself though mate, you're still too close.

You asked for words of encouragement I suggest you take a look at the Dalai lama's website below. Though not a Buddhist myself having heard him speak I have the utmost respect for him.

On happiness he said:

"The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes.* "

But I suspect you know that already

Good Luck
Joe

Answer 4

I don't think you are selfish at all. In fact, I think it is quite normal to feel the way you do. However, I would advise you not to waste too much time worrying about him. If he did you like that, he isn't good enough for you anyway. Trust me, he will get what's coming to him in due time. No matter what anyone else may tell you, there are good guys out there. Not only are there good guys out there, you deserve the best out there. Trust me, he did you a favor. If I were you, I would put his butt on child support and move on to bigger and better things ahead!

Answer 5

don't worry hun, Karma has a way of coming around. I moved 300 miles away to live with my fiance - which he then moved out 1 month later to be with his girlfried. I decided that I was going to be happy, three years later, I'm married to my best friend, own a house, and he's still depressed about what he did. He may cheat on the next 1-1000000 women, but there will be that ONE girl who HE falls in love with,.... and SHE'S going to do the same to him. Then he'll finally understand. Just dont hold your breath, Karma sometimes takes it's time..

Answer 6

I hope he'll get what he deserves. Hopefully one day he will fall MADLY in love with a girl... it'll just happen one day out of the blue.. and she'll do to him what he's doing to all these girls.. and hopefully it changes him. That's what happened to my brother atleast. If i were you.. i'd just worry about my baby girl and be happy you have a little angel. My best friend has a 15 month old little boy with a man she loves still and he's constantly trying to get back with her, but she doesnt do it. He cheated on her with numerous girls and she knows he'd do it again because of the kind of person he is. So some guys never change.. but hopefully for the sake of other women out there.. he gets what he deserves!! And you deserve WAY better and so does your little miracle :)

Answer 7

wow that's horrible and he's a daddy? not only that is a disgrace to you but to your child as well. you deserve way better who will actually be a man by caring for his family, not desert them and run off like a man whore! He's nothing more like a little boy who cries out for something that would give him what he wants and that's what got you knocked up in the first place. I bet he even didn't care or even pretended to. That kind of man you defenetely don't need! Trust me there are guys out there who would love to have a family of thier own and actually take it sereousely. Keep you head up girl, you will make it okay, I hope you have family that supports you and your baby. GOOD LUCK<333

Answer 8

yes, he will get his. Don't even think about the girlfriend and what's going to happen. Focus on you and your baby girl. Make sure he is paying child support - if not, get an attorney to fix that. Stay away from the "friend" who decided to fill you in - that was stupid and insensitive.
Sorry, the best thing for you is to go on and focus on your future without the cheating bastard.

Answer 9

Don't know your age but have been through the exact same situation. You need to move on and yes okay to wish him harm--things do come around and go around--I had my daughter at 17 and now she is 18--kids know. Just raise you daughter to the best of your ability--he will come back once she is older and a person--let him see her--but not you--very hard--but life goes on.-You are worth more than someone who left you to raise a child on your own and a cheater--that will never change.

Answer 10

I was married for 17 years and he cheated the whole time, he always said he was sorry and that he would change; you know what, I should of left him when my two sons were young, my MISTAKE, because in the end my sons suffered, by knowing they had a father and in the end he leaves any ways and dumps his kids! Then I have to pick up the Pisces and hear there cries"WHY DIDN'T DAD WANT US ANY OTHER MAN WOULD OF BEEN PROUD TO HAVE SONS LIKE US! Let me tell you broke my heart a million times over! Let him go! Go on with your life's. Trust me.

Answer 11

Did it occur to you that women are attracted to men that are players. This is good for an orgasm but they are terrible parents.
I am the type of man that women hate more than any other. I believe women are responsible for their actions. I also believe she knows what type of guy he is but chooses to lie about it to herself.
Start looking for a guy that might not be as much fun but is some one you can count on. Let the other women make her own decisions, (it will probably fall apart in a few years anyway) and try to allow some visitation time when you are collecting some child support.