he yells at her, won't let her leave the house and took away her credit card, he treats her like **** and i he hit her a few times, i saw him do it once thats how i found out. It made me soo mad. But my sister asked not to tell my parents, she knows that if my parents get involved that they will definately get a divorce, but she has a 1 year old, and she doesn't know what to do. She's so unhappy and her in laws are doing everything in their power to make it worse. She cries every day thinking she made the biggest mistake of her life, and she's only 23. I don't know what to do, im afraid to bring it up and ask her if she wants to tell our parents because i don't want to remind her and make her even more unhappy. Im really in a pickle and i don't know what to do. What do you guys think?
2007-08-23 16:23:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She did make a big mistake marrying that loser and the best thing that could happen for her and her child is to get the hell out. He obviously has no respect for women - look up and read about a man called a "misogynist" - that is him. They can be very dangerous. If he crossed the line and hit her, he will do it again. If he couldn't control himself while you were there, he is capable of really hurting her and also the baby. Do not ask her - tell your parents. They need to know. Her and her child's safety depend upon getting out of that household. If something happened to her, you would never forgive yourself for remaining silent. She will be really pissed at you and will probably not talk to you for quite awhile, but if you really love her, you need to accept this and put her safety above all else. If she confronts you, tell her " you are angry and probably don't understand right now, but I did it because I love you and need to protect you and the baby. It is clear to me that you are not in the emotional state to be able to take care of your own safety and I WILL NOT allow anyone to hurt you again". She will come around.
2007-08-23 18:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry bout your sister. You shouldn't contact your parents first, you should call the police and drag that useless man to the Jail. Find way or living skills, or support your sister, get her out of the house. There is no more love in him, or perhaps the quality of love has changed...
Your sister could probably consider a lot on the future on the children, (Money, baby without father, and etc) but if she keep on going this way, i afraid the impact to the Baby and herself will get worse. Help her.
2007-08-23 16:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Michael K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that abusive partners can become lethal. I had friends, he used to beat her up, he finally shot her in the face with a 357 and then shot him self. They have been dead since 1978 and their children had to grow up with out them.
She can go to a battered women's shelter and get help there. It is dangerous for the child to have an abusive parent in the house. She should not tell him where she is either, then she needs to seek legal help as well.
If she won't do anything, next time you see him hit her, you call the authorities, have him arrested and the judge should order him into domestic violence classes. If you really care about your sister and the child you will do this for them. She also needs counseling, there is a reason she puts up with this and she will need counseling so she won't fall in with another abuser if she marries again.
2007-08-23 19:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're extremely in a complicated spot. She has been brainwashed, yet until eventually she makes the call on her very own to get out, you may have subject in getting her to work out that her situation isn't favourite. I virtually lost a sturdy pal because of the fact i ought to work out what an abusive courting she grew to become into in. i ultimately had to back off and be there to %. up the products whilst all of it fell aside. it is probable not the suggestion you have been finding for, yet merely back off, are not getting your self sucked into his manipulations and be there on your sister whilst she desires you and at some point she would be waiting to. sturdy success to you.
2016-10-03 04:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is caught up in an abusive cycle. Personally, she can use all the help she can get. Men who abuse females, try to get them down to their lowest being, pretty soon the female cannot even help herself. I think anyone stepping in is better than nothing! Your sister needs to seek therapy, the sooner the better. Lots of times these abused females truly start to think they don't deserve a live without abuse. Keep in mind the children will follow suit, just by watching their parents.
2007-08-23 17:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say that "No one should put their hands inside a marriage"....But in this case of abuse I do not agree. NO kind of abuse is ever OK.
Your sister made a huge mistake, and she's paying dearly for it...But I think your parents SHOULD know about this ASAP.
IF she decides not to leave her abusive husband, that will be HER decision...but she should know that her parents and family will help her out if she decides to call it quits. She has to be sure that she has their support and she needs to know this now. ( Chances are her abusive husband is brainwashing her and telling her that her family will blame her- which is not true, of course.)
She is too young to be so miserable- and she has a baby that needs her, so I'd say tell your parents TODAY...!
2007-08-23 16:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since this could turn into a life or death situation since he is hitting her I would suggest you do tell your parents. He probably has her so brainwashed she is scared to death of him and that is why she does not want your parents to know. Your parents would be very upset if he hurt her very bad (or worse) and then found out you knew about it all along. As well you would be upset that you didn't say something.
Good luck!
2007-08-23 16:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents. Tell the Police. Tell Child Services and contact your local Woman's abuse shelter. They can hlep get your sister out and get her the counseling she needs to leave this man. They can help her protect her child. She needs to get out now while she can - one hit always leads to more and it woudl be better for her to be mad at you now and alive - then end up another victim of abuse. Make sure to contact the woman's shelter - they will offer counseling and they can really help in the transition from abused to self - supporting. Be the sister she needs and if she won't get help - get it for her - you have to for her and her child.
2007-08-23 16:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by geminijeanna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any man that hits a woman should get his a$$ beat by some guy twice his size. What is wrong with her? I'd be packing my bags so fast his head would spin. Tell her to stop feeing sorry for herself and get the he## out. You tell your parents... this is not something you should be quiet about.
2007-08-23 16:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have been right where your sister is, abusive husband and very scared! she need's help and fast, your nephew is seeing all this abuse if you do not get him and your sister out of this disaster your nephew can end up being abusive himself someday! Tell your parents , your sister , needs counseling, the fastest you can get her and that baby away from him the better. you sister needs to get a restraining order aganist him , so that her and the baby will be safe. good luck! and you r doing the right thing in this situation tell someone!!!!
2007-08-23 16:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by 1happyfrog 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋