Here is the deal. I am a married woman who has a female friend that I know would be willing to have a romantic/serious relationship with both my husband and me. I really want to do this. I am sure that he is generally ok with the idea so long as he is confident that he will still be able to spend ample time with me (not necessarily in a sexual context). He is excited about getting to see me with another woman. I am too. I am also excited about getting to see him with her. For those of you who have experience with this, do you have any advice, suggestions, horror stories, success stories, warnings, etc.?
Thanks, Kat
2007-08-23 16:04:39 · 17 answers · asked by Katrina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What would you do if it turns out that he likes her better than you and only wants her and not you at all?
2007-08-23 16:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by Blackman married to Redhead 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Advice, all parties must have a safe word to indicate they have changed their mind, don't perform the act in your home, let it be at a hotel, let your girlfriend know that it is for sex only and that there will be no sharing of everyday life(no moving in, no use of clothes, jewelry, cars, house, and etc.), keep it casual and not a weekly or daily event. Horror stories, husband and wife stop communicating their feeling and assumptions occur and marriage ends. The third party starts demanding more time and being part of their life, they become clingy.
2007-08-23 23:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ellen B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the long run, this could definitely hinder your marriage and relationship with your husband.
I know a couple that did this...And they tried it a few times. Before long, she was pregnant and decided that she no longer wanted to have threesomes, because of having children and wanting to have a normal/decent family life.
He, of course, was disappointed and constantly wanted to do it again. Eventually, he began cheating on her.
Sometimes, you have to consider the future. What you want now, may not be something you want later...
And who's to say that giving your husband a taste of the fruit, won't just make him want more?
Just consider these things.
2007-08-24 01:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in for a world of hurt. I have known of couples that had this sort of arrangement and it has ended very badly every time. One wife left her husband for the girl and took the children with them. Another the husband fell in love with the girl and the girl with him, she moved in and they tried to make the wife sleep in the guest room and said she could still live there if she wanted to. Another ones husband told her after seeing her do this that she wasn't the type of girl he wanted to be married to and filed for divorce. I don't think it sounds like a good idea to me. Better left as a fantasy.
2007-08-23 23:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kaboom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well Kat, If you truly love your husband you will find out in due time that you are asking for a large amount of future problems by doing this. Just my opinion.
2007-08-23 23:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess, he brought it up. You don't share your husband unless you are ready to give him up entirely. And of course he's excited about it, it's every man's dream! Don't do it, why would you bring another person into the relationship to get closer to your husband???
2007-08-23 23:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by my 2 cents 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yep, it's exciting and I can tell you it is fun, but for 99.8% of the couples that try this... there is hell to pay in the long run.
You will be gambling with your marriage... if it's worth that to you.. go ahead.
2007-08-23 23:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by Bentley 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You haven't really put much thought into this have you? The consequences and there will be many. Who will take the blame when everything goes belly up?
2007-08-23 23:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kiss your marriage goodbye lady.It hasn't got a snowballs chance in hell.And hell is sure what you will create here
2007-08-23 23:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by Charlotte's Dad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck
2007-08-23 23:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by duanehofner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋