I had a friend that I can no longer talk to because of the life she chose as a mistress. This has been going on for 3 years. I have never met the boyfriend due to our long distance relationship. But came across the wife online due to common interest. I have access to her email and am so close to emailing her to follow her husband or hire a private investigator. The couple has 2 school age kids. I don't want to ruin the wifes life but I think enough is enough.
Please tell me why I should or shouldn't contact her and if I should what should I say so she doesn't go to her husband?
2007-08-23 14:16:33 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't talk to her anymore because it is too difficult. You start to think your own husband is cheating. He is at her house at least 2-3 days a week, this has been going on for a few years. It's too bad that you are taking your frustration out on me and not her. If it was me I would want somebody to tell me!
2007-08-23 16:07:02 · update #1
Everything is not black and white in this life. You have judged your "friend" and put her into a box. Your world is very small and this is none of your business. You obviously only have friends who share your moral judgements. Like one answerer said, the wife may already know but doesnt want to deal with it. Mind your own business.....the wife will eventually find out. Im glad I havent got a friend like you. I think you would be called a fair weather friend.
2007-08-23 14:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is really none of your buisness to be honest with you. Just cause you talk to the wife on line you still have a stonger bond with you FRIEND. You shouldn't contact her. And if you were so concerned why would you have her waste time and money on a p.i if you knew what was really going on. The truth comes out in the end. You friend must be doing things that the wife on't do.
2007-08-23 21:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by hot mama 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's really none of your business. I don't condone affairs but it's not your place to say anything to the wife. She's may already knows and don't care. You'd be opening up a big can of worms and I don't think you should. Just casually let your friend know that you ran across the wife's email address. See what kind of reaction you get. You may loose a friend over it!!!
2007-08-23 21:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Starting at the end. There's no way in heaven or hell that she won't eventually confront her husband and your name won't come up. Face that first and then decide what to do.
Given AIDS and the murder of wives by their unfaithful husbands, I think you need to tell her--not telling her could be fatal. You could say, truthfully, that you aren't sure if she's the wife of your friend's lover, but there are some suspicious facts and you don't want her to be in any danger. (Can we all say Laci Peterson?) Say you'd rather be completely wrong and have her hate you for making her doubt her husband if he's not this guy than risk her health and safety or her children's. (Sometimes cheating dads kill their kids, too.)
2007-08-23 21:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wash your hands of it and walk away. It's none of your business. The more attention you put on this, the more it is going to negatively impact your life. Spend time constructively building your own life rather than worrying about what other people are doing.
2007-08-24 13:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not contact her. Trust me, what goes around does come around (especially for men) and the timing for the family could be very, very bad and you might cause a larger problem then what you are willing to accept responsibility for.
From all married women out there - BLESS YOU for being an honest, real woman who is even willing to sacrifice her friendships based on a terrific moral code.
2007-08-23 21:25:58 · answer #6 · answered by slave2art 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
that is a really touchy subject. on one hand you love your friend and want her to be happy but on the other why is the guy still with his wife if he loves your friend. I would tell my friend "if he hasn't left yet, he aint gonna" But unless you know the wife intimatly i wouldn't get too involved. maybe drop some kind of hint or something. idk my grandmother got into the middle of a couple and theit affair and he killed his wife and then killed himself, while my grandmother was on the phone with her. So just be careful and think it thru before you act!!!
2007-08-23 21:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think nothing stays hidden forever....and we all have glass ceilings.
Going around and throwing stones at other people's ceilings is not a good idea, IMO. Karma has a way of getting back to all of us.....
2007-08-23 23:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please keep in mind that YOU are not ruining anyone's life.
Perhaps you need to pick your friends better, and do NOT become involved. It will all come out in due time. No ONE is able to live a double life indefinitely.
2007-08-23 21:24:34 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stay out of it. Mind your own beeswax. Your friend will hate you if you get involved. Try talking to your friend more.
2007-08-23 21:50:00 · answer #10 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋