Cover Letter: is the quality/grammer of this cover letter for my resumee good?

Question

August 25, 2007


J. Watson
Ruhlin Corporation
P.O. Box 1990
6931 Ridge Road
Sharon Center, Ohio 44274

Dear J. Watson,

My name is **** and I have four years experience as a receptionist in the front office of a manufacturing plant. Some of my duties included faxing, computer use, answering multi-phone lines, collating literature, and greeting those who walked in. I believe that my past experiences would contribute greatly towards the continued success of Ruhlin Corporation. I have attached my resume to provide an overview of all of my achievements and qualifications.

My professional experience combined with my dedication and enthusiasm, should enable me to make an immediate and valuable impact on your organization. I look forward to meeting with you and learning more about the position, your objectives, and how I can contribute to the success of your corporation. If you need to contact me with and questions or concerns, feel free to do so.

Sincerely,


Name

Answer 1

In the first paragraph, leave out "Some of" and just say "My duties included..." And "past experiences" is redundant - just say "...my experience would contribute...." And in the last sentence, I'd leave out "all of" and just say "overview of my..."

In the last paragraph, if you are going to have the comma after enthusiasm, there should also be one after experience - either put both in, or leave both out.

As to your question itself: the spelling is GRAMMAR, and resume only has one e at the end.

Answer 2

What position are you applying for? Get rid of the line "Some of my duties included faxing, computer use, answering multi-phone lines, collating literature, and greeting those who walked in". You were a multi-tasking glorified coffee girl. Just tell them you were a receptionist. PERIOD!


Don't leave it up to them. "If you need to contact me with and questions or concerns, feel free to do so." Rephrase the sentence to read: Please allow me the opportunity to come in for a personal interview.
Will your past experience enable you or should it enable you? The words "should enable " should read "will enable".

I look forward to meeting with you and learning more about the position. PERIOD! Eliminate the rest of that sentence..

Answer 3

You should never repeat in the cover letter what is in the resume. Just go with something like

Dear Mr. Watson:

I learned of the available position of **** in (or from) **** ,and I believe that I am the best person for the job.

Attached you will find my resume detailing my skills and experiences. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss this mutually beneficial opportunity.

Thanking you in advance for your consideration.

Very truly yours,

***