Is there really no practical alternative to the age old relic of marriage?

Question

I am sure there must be an alternative to marriages. I am not suggesting a moral or immoral life ... but a practical one considering today's lifestyle which shows that this institution of marriage is not working anymore.
Also we must analyse in a practical reasons the causes for divorces and heartbreaks and seek really good alternative solutions.
I think a lot has to do with security and the question of children as well.
Looking for some serious answers.

I am not discussing whether marriages are good or bad or perfect or imperfect.
Looking at the institution of marriage today it does not seem to be working.

Very often considerations like financial security or children's future or fear of 'what will others say' apparently makes marriages look like stable and happy and the couple have been 'working' at it. But surely there is more than what meets the eye!!

Answer 1

It is so horribly sad that you don't get just how EXCELLENT marriage is....when the right people do it.

Guess you didn't pick the right person.

Answer 2

Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first thing to realize is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). We are told (by society) to date around as much as we want, going through as many people as possible. Instead, we should discover what kind of person we are getting into a relationship with before making that commitment. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if they share the same desire to be as Christ was (Philippians 2:5). Why is this important in finding a partner? A Christian person should be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this could weaken your relationship with Christ, or compromise your morals and standards.



When one is in a committed relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above anyone else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your "everything" or the most important thing in your life is idolatry, which is a sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5). Also, do not defile your body by having pre-marital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13, 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as you love yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or marriage relationship as well. Following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh, which should be permanent, inseparable (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).

Answer 3

There is nothing other then marriage and it is great if it is with the right person. I feel like people should live together for a while (years) before taking the step into marriage. If you are able to live together, consult each other on everything with out fighting or arguments then it would be a wonderful marriage. Too many do it for the wrong reasons they just jump into relationships and they do not know the person they are living with, this can not work it might for a while but when the new wears off and the old shines through that is when love stands it ground.

Answer 4

Marriage does work and it is not a relic. It fails when people do not make a committment to it. People seem to think they are going to be happy all the time or that they deserve happiness all the time and for things to be easy all the time. While I strive for happiness all the time - I accept that sometimes my significant other and I will have rough patches - btut if we stay committed to love, each other, honesty and good communication - the marriage will only get stronger.
Wanting a safe, secure and loving home for children is important and people need to plan ahead for all that. EVERYONE should see a marriage counselor prior to marriage and should ask themselves the big questions - but so many don't and that is why marriages fail. It is too late 5 years into the marriage to realize that one of you believes in spankings and one doesn't. That one insists on church and one doesn't. That one of you is willing to get up 10 times a night with the baby and the other is not. Even simple things like who is responsible for what household chores and how is the money to be earned and shared in the family should be planned out. An alternative to divorce and heartbreak - is simple - good communication, honesty, being committed and staying faithful, and staying in love.

Answer 5

It is not marriage that has turned into an "age old relic".
It is the concepts of what loyalty and forever means that has changed. We live in an age where entertainment and "new age" thinking, teaches us about instant gratification. And if we don't have it, if the person we are with doesn't give it to us, its out with old and in with the new.
Talk to married couples who have been married for 30, 40, even 50 years or more. They will most likely tell you that the marriage suffered through troubled times. But the important thing is that love, commitment, loyalty and forgiveness held them together and that the beauty of marriage made it all worth while.
What could be the alternative other than relationships where people can come and go as they please? I hope not.

Answer 6

The problems of the institution of marriage are in how it is practiced today. Not in the basic premise. People today expect perfection forever, and bail out when they see the truth of things. They want to spend way too much on insane weddings, and spend enormous amounts of time planning it, but never spend a moment preparing for their lives together. The real solution is to get people to form better relationships before they marry, and go into the marriage with more realistic expectations

Answer 7

It wouldn't matter how many alternatives to marriage there could be, bottom line is there are two people involved in making it work. If one does not carry their part of the load, fall out of love, cheat, fail to communicate with partner, or any of the other tons of reasons relationships end in heartache it's failed to change anything. Too many ppl are in love with the idea of being married, but have no concept of what it takes to be IN a marriage. I think one alternative could be that kids need to be formally educated about relationships and marriage before their hormones get out of whack and it's all about sex and the illusion that they are in love. Emotions are still going to prevail, but at least they might have some clue about what commitment really involves, instead of the fantasy that all it takes is love.

Answer 8

There are alternate solutions. But for some reason, marriage seems to be the ultimate one that provides security. In the west, there are people who don't get married, and just live together and act like they were married. All marriage is, is a piece of paper. But the committment can be formed w/o it. There are many who don't wed who live better than married folks. But no matter how society says it's liberal, it's still old fashioned at the core. It's weird for kids to say their folks aren't married but living together. IT's changing, but ever slowly. There are single parents out there too...though i don't advocate that. I feel a kid needs two parents, though they don't have to be married to be a kids' parents.

And to the person quoting the bible. If people lived in a marriage the way it was supposed to be in the bible. It would work. But many can't do that for whatever reason, and they pick and choose when biblical texts apply. That's no way to follow a union which god made and intended.

Answer 9

The institution does not need to change it's the
people that need to change, my marriage is
just fine as I am married over 20yrs and my
parents also were just fine after having been
married over55yrs before they passed away, so
marriage is a working institution , but the people
have to work at it also.

Answer 10

The reason it's not working is people are settling for someone that is not "THE ONE". They get tired of rejection and heartache looking for the right person and get impatient and are afraid they may never find the right one and they settle. There is one person that you will have a strong connection with the question is are you brave enough to admit it and take that leap of faith.

Answer 11

It works for about half of the people that enter into it. If it doesn't work for you - don't get married.

It isn't the institution that's the problem. It's the attitudes and expectations of the participants.