I do not want to continue to support financially or emotionally my family. They have for the last 27 years taken all that I have , money, advice etc. yet they all resent me . They all say " You think you know everything" "Why should anyone listen to you" Yet I am the one that has taken extra work to support them (when I could work..I am disabled now) paid mortages, rents, child support for my brothers, childcare,taken in their grandchildren to live with me, paid for groceries .utilities, you name I have done it for the LORD. I want to stop!! Have I let GOD down.? I am a discalced Carmelite Secular. What do you think? I feel guilty and ashamed for not wanting to continue
2007-08-23 11:59:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Gentle sister be at peace with your self. You have provided honorable service to your family. There is no dishonor in discontinuing if there is no joy in your giving. Giving of your resources should be regarded as a similar effort to farming. You would not pour all of your effort into cultivating weeds would you? No you would not. Therefore if your giving does not produce positive results you should wisely redirect the resources you can to have more of a positive impact. Again sister, have peace within your self. You have not let God down. Service to humanity is service to God and that service is not restricted by the bounds of kinship. I am quite certain that God would have you giving of yourself in a manner that brings a sense of joy and purpose to you. Also remember this; be as generous as you can reasonably afford with your money but be stingy with your advice as a closely guarded treasure for there are few who deserve your wisdom and fewer still who appreciate it.
In all sincerity and good will to you,
Ydrisil
2007-08-23 13:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by ydrisil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No insult, just listen out with patience and you will see where it is going!
You should feel more guilty and ashamed of trying to be god... By taking on all their responsibilities/needs you crushed your own position as a free human being do to your self assumed idea of what good proper action should be! However, you feel unappreciated!?
But you forgot that whe one does charity, one should not expect any reward. Including the reward of respect and acceptance of your will and/or knowledge... etc, unless it is a predetermined condition of such help(in this case it is not charity)! So, by assuming a whole as the unconditional giver you have taken a divine role for yourself... that of the unconditional giver/protector! Yet there is a condition within you that call for respect and acceptance of your counsel!
It is not your job to do so... no "god" would/could/should expect it from no one! Remember what Jesus said "you can give someone a fish and you feed them today, but if you teach them how to fish..."(paraphrased) This proverb implies both a better way/role and consequence! By taking on their responsibilities you have tough them not to rely on themselves instead of learning how to fish!
It is an easy trap for the good intentioned... no one is perfect!
Get over it and live your life the best you can! Don't judge... Give councel freely, but don't expect it to be heard! If you still find it difficult to separate yourself for this role, look for a psychologist... they can help you cope with the unfounded guilt of not helping at every turn!
Note: in the other hand... it isn't your choice to stop working! Yu are disabled. It should be viewed - if anything at all - as a message to stop!
2007-08-23 19:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by ikiraf 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Man !!! you have not let God down ... realize that the first one must always be " YOU " , call it what you want . selfish etc... but the fact is that you do let God down if you let your self down and don't take care of your self first and then others , if the others have received all help beyond the call of duty , give your self a pat on your back and is perfectly all right to tell your self " now I will do it for me " and just do it ... in your heart you know what you have done and you are satisfied with your efforts and that is all is expected out of you , you are not a Saint ... and you shouldn't try to be you are all human and a good one , God bless you .
2007-08-23 19:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by young old man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did your best. Now stick to your guns and keep that promise.
Don't feel ashamed. If they ask tell them the Lord helps those who help themselves.
2007-08-23 19:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
helping others is always a plus for u. So i encourag u to not give up. if u know someone needs u as they had, continue to b with them. And as for urself, get courage where u need it---but dnt ever stop doing gud, the bible encourages us to do so.
2007-08-23 19:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by Nadia 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You should ask this question in the 'religion' category. Philosophers are a bunch of atheists.
2007-08-23 19:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The burden is only in your mind..... take the blinder off and live a whole life...
2007-08-23 19:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by Its not me Its u 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I think they have.
I too hate when people take advantage of people till they can't use them anymore.
2007-08-23 19:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋