brother or husband?

Question

my name is...im 16 years old...I have 5 sisters one whom I am very close to she is 18 she is married with 2 kids(yes I know she is young)anyways...Last monday I got a phone call from her,she was crying she said to go to her house,to not call back and to not ask questions.I worried so I rushed over.When I got there she was crying and she told she wanted to leave that she wanted to "get out of here".I thought she was having some kind of nervous breakdown.She told me that her husband had beat her up because she wouldnt go inside when he told her to, so he beat her up.he was in the bathroom when I got there so I banged on the door and accidentally made a hole in the door.I confronted him,he didn't say a word.After two days my sister got back together with him and he told her that I was never allowed in their house again.I don't know if I should've interfered.He doesn't want her talking to me either. Should I tell him he's not allowed in my house because he hit my sis or what??????

Answer 1

You should do something more than not allow him in your house. Call the police. It is never OK for someone to beat their spouse.

Answer 2

Ok it is possible your sister don't know how to leave. She does have the two babies. Have you ever heard of keeping your enemies closer. This is what you need to do. It is best not too up and move out. It takes time. On the other hand, she has to call the police. It will happen again. As for you keep in touch with your sister. You have your life to live too

Answer 3

Your her little brother! You just want to stick up for your sister! There is nothing wrong with that at all! What her husband did was wrong! Someone had to do something about it! Next time just have your sister call you and you can do something about it, or you can call the cops! He will be in big trouble when they come around and find out what he has done to her!

You will do the right thing! You did the first time! Don't let him hurt your sister!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I have an older sister , and she called me crying , and I thought she was having a nervous break down , I dove an hour and 45 minutes to get to her. we had to get her clothes before he got home, I called a cousin that had rentals in her area , and he had a nice house opened , so we moved her into it , we all pitched in and gave her things she needed , and fixed her house really nice. After three months she moved back in with him, he now hates me and my cousin, So two weeks she called again , and away I went . we got her moved into an apt. this time. But this is the 4 time she has left him, But this time she has filed for divorce, And yes you did the right thing, when our sisters needs us we have to be there for them. And I don't really care if he likes me or not, I don't like a wife beater so I figure we are even on that one. I won't go to his house , But I also don't let him stop me from seeing my sister or calling her.I for one am proud of you for standing up for your sister , There needs to be more involvement and people stepping in when he hits on her. if this is the first time he has hit her , he will do it again . just make sure she knows that you will be there for her, but you just won't go back to her house as long as her husband is there. Good Luck .

Answer 5

i think you did the right thing... personally i would still press charges on the husband even if your sister doesn't want too. do you have any proof of the beating? like pictures or hospital bill? that would really help your case for a restraining order.

i think that you should respect his wishes, as for staying away from his house just to avoid any more abuse for your sister. if possible still talk to her while he's not there and when ever she is able too. don't loose contact with her... she might need you again.

don't tell him he's not allowed over your house, keep a close eye on him. remember the old saying "have your friends close but your enemies closer"

and please, please , please tell your parents.... maybe they could do something, or at least talk some sense into her.

Answer 6

If you shut him out, you may as well shut her out too. Don't make it any harder for her to turn to you when she needs you, than it already is because he's being abusive.
Best you can do is try to keep contact with her as much as possible regardless of what he says. If he threatens you, even by saying he'll beat her up...call the police, file a report. Always keep documentation...this may come in handy one day. But never close any communications, as this may make her feel as though she is part of that therefore not turn to you for help, when she really needs it and really ready to leave. Only thing worse than being abused is feeling like you have no where to turn and being abused.

Answer 7

I think you should talk to your parents (or parent) about what is going on. They will recognize the situation right away as being dangerous for your sister and dangerous for you. This guy would probably threaten you. Your sister needs to get away from him but she is the only person who can walk her own self out of the situation. Just make sure she has a place to go to that is safe from him and that she knows about... perhaps a shelter for battered women. Then family wouldn't have to be involved (she might feel ashamed and not want to ask for help...)

Answer 8

Honestly there's not much you can do. It's all up to your sister what she really wants and do. Yeah it's not right because she's not happy and she's being beat up just because of stupid reasons. She should really think of her kids. THat's not a good enviroment for them. No one deserves to be in a domestic relationship but like I said it's all up to her. As for her not talking to you that's not right cause that's your sister and you've know her way longer then that loser husband of hers. She's way too young to be married with two kids and with someone who hurt her like that. I suggest that she should get help and decide what she really wants. Just keep being a supportive brother and help her the best that you can without getting yourself too involved or even hurt. Good luck. I hope for the best for your sister.

Answer 9

All you can do is be there for her. As badly as you may want to go drag her and the kids out of there, she won't stay away from him until she is ready. Now, if you find out that he has beat either of the kids, report it to social services immediately (it can be done anonymously). Try to limit your contact with him since it sounds like he is taking his anger out on her. Don't go back by yourself. Call the police and meet them there if she calls like that again. Also, make sure that the other sisters know what is going on.

Answer 10

You need to help your sister by contacting the nearest battered woman's shelter and getting information for her so she can leave and be safe. This man is dangerous and your sister and her two children are at risk of being hurt or even killed. Men who abuse their wives or girlfriends are cowards and usually are very controlling; convincing the women that it is their fault that they were beaten; always placing blame on everyone else. He is trying to isolate her from her family and away from you. Now he is saying that you aren't permitted to come to their place because you attempted to protect her. If you have to, call children's protective services to get the children out of that home. Your sister needs help and she could also use some counseling to convince her that she should not be allowing anyone to control her or to have anyone lay his hands on her. Don't put yourself in danger. This man is dangerous and needs to be in jail. You could also call the police and let them know of your concerns for your sis and the children.

Answer 11

Your sister really needs to get help to get out of this situation. This kind of thing affects young children in later life and will also obviously affect your sister. Is it possible for her to stay with family? Also, it would be very wise for her to inform the police as they are well trained in these situations and can also advise her on the future for her and her children.
If she can't stay with family, or she is afraid of staying with family for whatever reason, eg he may find her, she can contact a refuge for women in her situation. There are lots of helplines out there, try searching for women's aid and they should have a list.
She will need to be strong and brave, and she may be afraid, but she can't stay with such an abusive man. I imagine it's not the first time he has been violent and controlling, and he won't change.
Support her, stay strong and she will get through this.