I have been married for 7+ years and the sex doesn't seem to be improving on my wife's end. She just does it "for me". I have tried different positions, techniques, 94% of the time give her an O, and nothing seems to work unless she wants another child.
2007-08-23 09:40:06 · 30 answers · asked by chazmat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not a marriage counselor, but it sounds like you have the 7 year itch. Often a married couple kind of stagnate at about the 7 year mark. Try to spice things up a bit. Take her out on a date. Treat her like you did when you were first dating. Hope this helps.
2007-08-23 09:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend some time w/ her during the day then try at the end of that day. Like, stop on the way home & walk through a garden or park somewhere; something casual but different.
Set the dinner table and sit across from each other. Tell her you were thinking about her all day and couldn't get rid of a hard on.
Have coffee and the morning weekend paper. Exclaim on the benefits of morning sex, over and over.
Buy new underwear (u thought she'd like) ask her for head.
Tell her that something about her looks sexy, and stare at her constantly -- make some vibes.
Get some porn if she'll watch it.
Ask her to pick you out some new cologne. Wear it & sit by her on the couch during a tv show. Keep leaning in to her purposefully.
Tell her you need some attention.
Tell her you're getting tired - or you're back hurts - could she take over ????
Tell her.
2007-08-23 17:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it but also keep in mind a few things... It sounds like you have children already .. they are tiring and demanding. Besides concentrating on giving her an orgasm have you thought about taking her away? Getting her out of the usual humdrum of her existence? Have you attempted anything that makes her feel truly special and has nothing to do with sex?
I can only give you a female perspective. When sex starts to feel like a demand and you are exhausted from everyday life it won't be anything that one would look forward to. HOWEVER... when a female feels sexy, gets away from the cares of responsibility, feels like she's truly appreciated and looked at as something then you have the best shot at getting what you want.
summary: don't concentrate on the "O" (as you put it). Talk to her, make her dinner, look her IN THE FACE and listen to her, buy her flowers for no reason, leave her a note, take her on a romantic surprise vacation. This doesn't have to happen ALL THE TIME... it simply works for a long time when the shock wears off.
AND P.S. don't think that one dinner should hit the lotto. I suspect that you owe her lots of undivided attention. If you have done all this then it's time to have a serious talk and see what's up.
2007-08-23 17:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of girls lie about the O you speak of. If she really is just doing it for "for you"she probably also tries to make you feel good. If I was really having an orgasm 94% of the time I would definitely be doing it for ME. The thing is that the mount of sex she wants probably doesnt have a connection tohow she feels about you. Some peple are just more sexual than others. Decide if you can meet in the middle or if this is something that you cant live with.
2007-08-23 16:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Katie O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd put good money on her faking it 93 out of that 94 percent of the time. (Is that an estimate or are you really paying that much attention? Because if you are, that's probably why she's faking it!) Maybe more. Women who are not interested in sex tend not to enjoy it and vice versa. I'll second what someone else said about improving the relationship outside of the bedroom. Usually that's the problem.
2007-08-23 16:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by ally4 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is time to employ the secret weapon... Stop asking for sex, stop trying to get you any at all... I mean cold hard stop, just act like sex no longer has any appeal to you. In fact, if she tries to get you to have sex, turn her down, just tell her you do not feel up to it, you are not in the mood, you have a head ache, you are too tired...Heck, if you think you can pull it off, just lay on your back and tell her to go ahead and just lay there and not even get hard (In your case you probably could not keep from getting hard, so probably should not do this one). Then, just start paying a little more attention to how you dress when you are going to work, how your hair looks, if you have shaved good enough, put on some smell good and act like you are anxious to go to work every morning. It sounds like she is 100% confident that she is the only hen in the coop and there is no competition out there. Give that competitive streak she has laying dormant in there a little stir. Make her wonder why you stopped asking for it at home, why you stopped trying, why all the sudden it appears you do not need her sexualy any more. Don't carry this too far, it can back fire and make sure you are not doing anything that could be taken as you are really cheating, like going out to lunch with a female co-worker. Don't come home smelling like perfume or any stuff like that, that would be disasterous. Just make her wonder why you are excited to go to work, why you are dressing just a little nicer, wearing your smell good again, why you are all the sudden not interested in sex... Just make her wonder and watch her come back to life.
2007-08-23 17:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How was she brought up? Was she always this way or has it happened recently?
Please talk with her about this problem; let her know you need to feel desired sexually also. This could be a real huge problem in your marriage and needs to be addressed with her. This is the type of thing that leads men to stray and you sound like you want to everything you can to remain faithful. She may have some deep set 'hangups' about women approaching men or maybe she is just tired from taking care of the children, but, you must take some action and get this resolved.
2007-08-23 17:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer may not be in your bedroom, sir.
In a lot of cases, good intimate relations start in the kitchen, or living room, or outside the house for that matter.
Seems as if you're focusing on details, technique, logically issues. Chances are pretty high, that you have overlooked many emotionally issues that seem to a man to have nothing to do with sex. But to a woman, a lot.
Try loving her in different ways that are unrelated to sex and becoming closer in your friendship, marriage, and other areas.
In marriage, they're all inter-connected.
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2007-08-23 16:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
How are you treating her before its time for sex? If you aint saying the things she needs and yearns to hear, in other words, if you aint meeting her needs out of the bedroom, how do you expect her to meet yours in the bedroom. Well, it sounds like she is willing, but you want more. Then give her MORE throughout the day. I'm not saying you don't persay, but being a woman, and needing affirmation, romance, and affection really gives me the desire to be his wildest dreams. But, thats just me.
2007-08-23 17:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by ellen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, a lump is far better than none , and only slightly better than a knot hole.
Has she been circumcised? Somehow, are you missing the 'lil boat?
Maybe get her to her doctor. Could be she needs 'mon shots.
2007-08-23 19:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by reinformer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋