What do you do if your parents won't let you date outside your race?

Question

Hi this is Kelly and I have a question! (I'm using my friend's account). What do you do if your parents won't let you date another person outside your race? How do you explain to them that you really like one another and don't care about each other's skin color (he's white, I'm black btw). He's a really sweet guy and my parents aren't racist, they just don't really believe in interracial dating between our family...or maybe that is racist...lol. idk. But can you guys help me please???
*~♥~*
Kelly

Oh and btw his parents don't have a problem with it at all!

Answer 1

Honestly, i would disobey them. I honestly think that is very unfair. I think it's important to respect your parents, but in this situation I would have to go against them. There is no reason why you can't go out with him, it makes no sense. Go with your gut, do what you think is right.

Answer 2

You may not like this, but the answer is that you don't.

Trust me from long experience that for most people, once they pass a certain age (like 40), it is almost impossible to change their minds about deeply rooted beliefs like this one. Your guy could be the Saint Peter equivalent and they'd still have a problem with you dating him. It's totally not your fault, it's just the way some people are. Convincing your parents would be like trying to convince the President that the war was wrong, or convincing most Senate Republicans that gay marriage really is OK.

Not sure how old you are, but if you're over 18 and living on your own, just keep telling your parents you love them and when they don't agree with who you date, just smile and tell them thank you and that you'll be sure to consider their words carefully. But if you're a teen living with your parents still, the best shot you have is to just stay friends with the guy for now, demonstrate to your parents that you are responsible in your chosen relationships, and get more serious when you both turn 18 and are on your own.

Answer 3

Date him anyway. That's the way my parents are. They hate anyone who isn't white and my husband is from Saudi Arabia and is part Sudanese from his grandmother. If your worried about what they will say then keep it quiet and don't tell your parents that you guys are dating. My mother still doesn't know my husabnd is from Saudi Arabia as she'd probably kill me for marrying an Arab. But if you want to be honest then just tell your parents that you love this guy very much and you hope that they will be happy for you and that you will continue to date him even if they have a problem with it.

Answer 4

Love has no color. Your parents shouldn't worry about race as long the guy makes you happy. I never had that issue with my parents, cuz my family is all mixed up. I've dated girls outside of my race before. They never had a problem. You need to tell your parents to give him a chance, and stop being close-minded.

Answer 5

Hmmm, my mom wants me to date a black guy but she's ok if I date outside my race if the guys has certain qualities she likes. Maybe you can tell your parents that you really like this guy because you have something in common(stuff like food,etc), and you can also say that they shouldn't decide who you need to date its you going out with the person, not them. You can try to say mom, dad I respect you but you need to respect me too!

Answer 6

Your parents ARE being racist. You're both people, he's nice, you like him, he likes you, what's the problem???

Have your parents meet him. Seriously, this is racism and it's NOT OK. If your parents give you the right to date, then you have the right to date regardless of race.

Answer 7

Explain to your parents what you have explained to us..In this day and age they should accept who you want to date, as long as you are being treated right.
I think it's very ignorant of them and the fact his parents are ok with you is good to hear.
Don't finish with him for your parents when he is making you happy...stick to what you want, they will have to come round in the end.

Answer 8

I assume you still are underage and living with your parents. If that is true, you need to respect and obey their rules. It's not about color, it's about CULTURE!! Each ethnic group has customs specific to them and they can be very different from another ethnic group. It's sometimes difficult to blend two very different cultures and make it work. When my daughter was a teenager, I did not let her date outside her race because all she saw was color and that isn't the important part. Then when she was older, it was her choice. She married a guy of the same race (white) and it was a disaster. Now she's married to a man whose mother is from the Philippines and he was born there and started school there. He is a wonderful man and I LOVE my son-in-law!! However, she took time to be in the relationship long enough to see the issues his parents still deal with regarding the blending of two different cultures. She took time to know if she, too, could become comfortable with those differences and blend them into a workable, lasting relationship.
So, while you're young you don't always see the full picture. Respect your parents and wait until your choices (and their consequences) will be yours to deal with, not theirs.

Answer 9

my grandparents have the same issue and i relly dont like it! your parents are racists tho but wait until you are 18 and you can do whatever you want if you cant convince them now. good luck, and stay true to your feelings!

Answer 10

i understand you... i liked a half black guy, and my dad completely freaked out. i'm 100% European. there's not much to do... parents think sometimes they're protecting kids by not letting them date certain people.