Husbands ex?

Question

My husbands ex girlfriend of some 6 months emailed him the other day asking how he is etc.

She has given him her home & mob phone number so they can catch up and meet up for a drink.

She is married too.

Is this harmless pleasentries or not?

Would you let your partner have his/her exs phone number?
My husband or the lady do not have children between them.


It's been a few years since they saw each other.
Also i'm not sure if her husband knows, and what about if my husband did call and her husband answered the phone, could she be using him to help her let her husband know she is not happy?

Answer 1

First of all, my husband & I don't control each other - who we can talk to, who's phone numbers we can have. I can't even imagine telling him what he can and cannot do.

Also, I know that my relationship with my husband is not dependent on either of our relationships with anyone else. His having other acquaintances does not affect in any way what goes on between he & I. Our relationship is based on how we treat each other and how we feel about each other. Nothing else.

So, I, personally, wouldn't have a problem with him catching up with an old friend (or old lover).

That said... I would have a problem with him sneaking behind my back to secretly meet someone & have an affair with them. But, this is not the case at all, is it? He has been up front with you about it. What are you afraid of?

Answer 2

I have no idea what really is going on there. It depends on the situation and on their relationship. I've been in touch with my ex-husband for several years now, I have his phone #, and we see each other a few times a year - my husband knows it, has met my ex, and has no problem with the fact that we talk. My ex and I don't have any kids, we stayed in touch because we didn't feel animosity towards each other after the divorce, and we've known each other for so long it made sense to stay friends (even though the marriage didn't work out). I would not have any problem with my husband talking to an ex of his; there has to be much more going on for me to get suspicious or withdraw my trust; I have great confidence in his common sense. If you don't trust your husband, maybe you should listen to your gut feeling - you know him better than anyone.

Answer 3

I had the same problem, No it is not appropriete. EXs are Exactly that X's. They are the past, They should stay there. Things did not work for a reason whatever it is they dont deserve the opportunity to rekindle a friendship if they both have moved on. If he has slept with them that automatically makes is off limits. Temptation is touch enough than to not have to worry that someone your mate has already slept with once is part of that temptation. Just think what would happen if they both get to talking after each have had a big fight and they lean on each other and drink and end up sleeping together. Girlfriend HECK NO. Don't allow it. When this happened to me I gave him an opportunity to let her know in front of me on the phone that it was not cool for them to be friends. of course he could not bring himself to do it. Thought it would hurt her feeling. Well Guess What. I did. I called and Checked that ItchBa Quick Fast and in a Hurry. To make a long story short we have never heard from her again. She ran into us at a funeral and she emailed and let him know of all the feeling that had resurfaced and that she wondered if he ever wished things were different. In my opnion that was totally crossing the line, She deserved every cussing I gave her. So you try to let him handle it. If he doesnt' and you let them be friends. You are making a mistake that will come back and bite you later.

Good Luck, Nip it in the Bud.

Answer 4

Personally, I would not allow it but that's the type of person I am. Do you ever wonder about your ex? Because although I'm happy, I wonder about him sometimes. I wonder what it could've been or could be.

She might be trying to see if they can rekindle the flame that they had when they were together. People who want to catch up go to coffee shops. People who hope for sex go have a drink. If he has any respect for you, then he will tell her there's not much to catch up about and that he's married and is not willing to lose you over a drink. If he's asking you if it's okay, then he might be wondering also.

In the event that you do let him go or he goes to meet up with her and he tries to go meet with her for Round 2, tell him that since its harmless, her and her husband can come to dinner this time. That way you can all get acquainted. So if there is a real friendship there, her husband will know.

Like I said, I would not let my husband go anywhere...lol...lock him in his room. LOL!!

Answer 5

I say hell no! I mean a simple hi and how are you is fine and that's it, she is the past she needs to stay in the past, they might catch old feelings if I was you I would send her a message pretending to be the husband just to let her know all is well and my wife wouldn't approve of us communicating and and I love my wife so take care and then delete, you never know what Ms. Thing got up her sleeve DON'T TRUST HER , you have to think about why is she giving him all of contact maybe her husband is cheating on her and she wants get back don't be a fool!!

Answer 6

I have mixed feelings about this. One part of me agrees that you can't control your husband and he should have the freedom to call his old girl friend. But, really, what is to be gained by this? She is married also. Maybe her husband will be upset if he calls her. I would want to know what the purpose is to having contact with someone you once (probably) were intimate with? Would it end up being someone to call if you had problems in your marriage and perhaps lead to him confiding in her. Think it over and I think you will find there is no good reason for them to keep in touch.

Answer 7

For me it would depend on how long their relationship was, and how intense. Personally I'd be a ***** about it, either way. As for her using your husband to let her husband know she isn't happy, sounds too much for the situation. There are easier ways. Get her husbands home no. and whatever a mob phone number is, tell your husband you've got them, and tell him your going to have just a good of time having that drink as he is....

Answer 8

Why complain..he's going to do what he thinks is right regardless of how much you talk about it.
Hopefully you married someone with enough morals that he won't contact her cause he'll see that is wrong. If they meet up for coffee or something, tell him you are going too. He should be fine with bringing you along. If not, then you've got trouble!

Answer 9

Hell no would I allow my husband to catch up with an ex girlfriend!!! There's no reason at all!!!

Answer 10

Uuumm, NO....I wouldn't say a "NO" would be insecuritey..
I would say that this would or could be and opportunity to have drinks with a person you have had sexual relations with in the past (not a good idea) thats just putting your relationship at risk? Now, is it worth it? Would it be healthy?